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Next up were Rachel and Jonathan. Although I constantly make fun of Rachel about her weight, these two have turned into one of my favorite couples. She wants it so bad, and despite the age (and let us be honest, the size) difference, they have great chemistry. They do their dance to the theme of Austin Powers, and they open with Rachel doing a handstand and Jonathan spreading her legs. This sort of move is necessary to get some sort of rise out of people, because Jonathan just isn't able to spin and toss Rachel around like a rag doll during the routine. Personally, I thought the routine was boring with not so much hip action, and none of the party feel that Joey and Ashly had, but the judges absolutely loved it and rewarded them with a 25, including a 9 from both Len and Bruno.

Least erotic sexually suggestive samba move...EVER

Third to go was John and Charlotte, easily my favorite remaining couple. These two epitomize the over-the-top antics that I am looking for in this competition, and John is losing weight to boot (chances of a celebrity workout video tie-in are about 70% right now). I could honestly watch his facial expressions all day, or at least I would be able to if Charlotte wasn't so distracting. It is either disturbing or magnificent to watch her dance with her head pointed to one side at such a very extreme angle. Did she somehow lose C-2 and C-3 during some freak wakeboard accident? Do you think she just watches her dog stick its head out of her car window in order to get an idea of what it all involves?

The dance started out like it was going to be boring, but quickly heated up as John got closer to his partner, and they got to get together to make all of the wonderful faces we love so much. Problem is, the judges didn't like a lot of John's footwork, and the two of them had their lowest score since the opening week.

Rounding out this week was Alec and Kelly. After seeming like another whiny Hollywood diva who has way too much influence in relation to her talent, she has really stepped it up in her training and looks like she wants to do much better. She has been criticized for being too plodding and less graceful, so she even went so far as to hire a ballerina to help her be light on her feet. Kelly is tiny, at 5'1" and probably no more than 110 lbs, but this ballerina seemed to have four inches on her, while managing to be about 15 lbs lighter. Thank God she had that leotard on, because I would have vomited at the sight of her ribs sticking out all over the place.

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Posted by J-Unit on June 23, 2005 1:45 AM