As I just alluded to, this week's dances were all Brazilian in origin: the samba and the rhumba. By the way, this just occurred to me. After the taping, I actually ate Brazilian food for dinner. Total coincidence. Looks like Dancing with the Stars got into my brain. That would also explain why I unbuttoned my shirt down to my navel and swiveled my ass around the Los Angeles Farmer's Market for two minutes.

Okay, okay. I keed. There was no swiveling (at least, none that I'll admit to). Nevertheless, I figure I'll start this recap at the beginning -- and I'm not talking about the credits. I'm talking about 3:30 PM this afternoon when I arrived at Television City (the studio lot where the show is taped). It was mildly stressful for me because I was playing chicken with my car's gas tank. The light was on, the needle was nearly at the bottom, but there was no way I was going to be late for this taping. As I waited in the line of cars seeking to gain entrance to the studio lot, I kept nervously eyeing my gas gauge. Would this idling be detrimental to my gas supply? Would I be so garish as to run out of gas right here, right on Beverly Boulevard, just outside of the Dancing with the Stars? Even worse, there was a gas station right across the street. Everyone would be rolling their eyes at me: how could you let your car run out of gas when there was a 76 Station just twenty feet away? But I couldn't just leave the line. I needed to get on the lot!

Well, ten minutes later, I finally pulled up to the security guard, and he told me to park next door at The Grove (a big mall type area, for you non-Angelenos). So after all that stress and anxiety, I didn't even need to be in that line in the first place. I could have gone to get gas, parked at the Grove, and been on the studio lot in less time than it had taken me to crawl up to the gate. Seeing that I had wasted so much time in this line, I decided I better haul ass to the parking structure at the Grove. I certainly wasn't going to get gas now -- it was already 3:35, and I was explicitly told to arrive between 3:15 and 3:30 PM.

Luckily, the parking situation at The Grove was significantly easier. Plus, through the magic of mild inclines, my gas gauge had actually managed to go back up again, which meant I wasn't nearly as depleted as I had previously thought. Ah, sweet anxiety release.

I then walked briskly over to the studio lot, gained access, and headed over to the soundstage where I checked in and got in the back of the large security line. I knew this much: I had a cell phone on me and a digital camera. Chances were that I wasn't allowed to bring them in, but maybe I could sneak them in? No, better be honest. I was invited as a guest -- why make a scene and jeopardize my chances of seeing the show (and yes, it was a foregone conclusion that any attempt at subterfuge would be completely botched). So now my dilemma was this: given that I wouldn't be allowed to take my electronics into the show, do a) I get out of line now, trek alll the way back to the car, put the celly and the camera in the glove compartment, trek alll the way back and risk having the doors close on me -- or worse, get placed in one of those oft-maligned second-tier seats in the ballroom? Or do I stay in line, try to sneak the electronics in, and if I fail, maybe talk real fast? The downside to that would be that if they made me stow away my camera and phone, I'd have to do the trek anyway, and worse, I would have wasted twenty-five minutes in the security line -- much like my inefficient time at the security gate earlier.

I decided to ride fast and loose: I would stay in line. Unfortunately for me, the guards were not letting the electronics into the soundstage. But on the plus side, they were being ever so kind as to check the items. Crisis averted! What a glorious day!

Here's my Dancing with the Stars stamp. I'm gonna tell people it's my new tat.

Anyway, I then entered the building, and walking in behind me was someone I later found out was in High School Musical. I don't remember his name, but I do recall that I went to use the bathroom, which was down a long hallway, and when I returned, he was saying that he wanted to go to the bathroom, but he did not want to walk down the long hallway. I didn't stick around to see how that issue resolved itself, but I was amused nonetheless.

Posted by B-side on October 11, 2006 10:56 AM