The next morning as Phyllis wakes up and staggers downstairs for her morning coffee, Bree goes upstairs and packs all her clothes. By the time Phyllis gets her coffee and a delicious English muffin (all those nooks and crannies!) she walks out to see everything packed up by the front door. Bree kicks her out right on her ass. This probably won't help her with the police, it being suspicious that she kicked out her mother-in-law, but the police aren't obeying the laws in this investigation anyway so what the heck.

Speaking of law enforcement, we then see Gabrielle visiting her husband in jail, where she is giving him a card for their anniversary. He admits that he forgot about it completely, to which Gabrielle gets pissy. He says that if this was a real marriage, she wouldn't have cheated (eh, details). Carlos doesn't understand. John said he loved her all the time. Which was more than what Carlos ever did for her, which was treat her like a possession.

Later on Gabrielle goes for another one of her stalker trips watching John mow lawns. Either this chick is into John, or the smell of cut grass gets her juices flowing. But before she can finish herself off she sees John and the decidedly older lady who owns the house go inside and start to bump uglies. Realizing that she probably now has a highly resistant strain of syphilis, she retaliates by cutting down the woman’s bushes. Later when she confronts John, who keeps calling her Mrs. Solis, she finally realizes that he is a moron who would tell any warm hole he loved it if it meant he could stick something into it.

Over at the Applewhite's, Betty is telling Matthew that he can't make friends and he has to keep things on the down low. I'm not sure if this means Matthew is actually gay, or if it's because of the guy they have trapped in their basement. Speaking of guy trapped in their basement, no sooner does she say this then BAM!, he comes crashing through the basement door and starts going nuts. Just when Betty viciously pistol whips him unconscious, the doorbell rings. It’s Susan asking her to help her with some piano lessons. You see, since she found out Edie and Julie will be working together at the local talent show, she decides to do what she does every episode and try to one-up her. Betty, who is out of breath because of the recent beating she just unloaded on the large black man trapped in her basement, says she doesn't do lessons and tries to close the door. Before she does Susan notices the blood on her shirt and Betty says its just from her baking a cherry pie. Yeah, a cherry pie filled with brain matter. Those are tasty.

When they realize that answering the door with blood on their shirt and being out of breath looks suspicious, Betty later changes her mind and gives Susan some lessons. When she remarks about how loud Matthew keeps his music, we cut to the basement with Matthew with a boom blaster blaring hip hop as he reinforces the steel door. Enya would've been funnier, but I don't write for the show.....yet.

At work Lynette goes in to talk to her boss Nina, played by the inestimable Joely Fisher and her mammary glands extraordinaire, to ask for an hour off work next morning to see her kid off to school. Nina tells her that she would love to give the people with families special permission to take time off work, but what about the single people who want to catch a matinee? Or maybe the people who'd like to take an afternoon off to get a haircut? Now at this point I know we're supposed to look at Nina as the "mean boss," but goddammit she's right. Last episode she specifically asked Lynette at her job interview if her kids were going to interfere with her work and Lynette promised her that her work would come first. So Lynette should really just shut up because she dug her own hole here. And besides, it's just the first day of kindergarten, the kid will manage.

Posted by EdHIll on October 11, 2005 8:52 AM