The show opens With Edie, getting her weekly 30 seconds of screen time. After a montage (Desperate Housewives loves montages) of her relationship with Carl, or more specifically a montage of him always getting his way in their relationship, we see her watching an old movie on the couch. Carl Sits down and turns the channel to watch the football game. When he refuses to turn the channel back to the movie, we then see Edie in lingerie and a pair of depends enticing him to bed for some kinky lovemaking. Amazingly he falls for it. He must be a Cowboys fan. When Edie ties him up in anticipation of kinky sex and a female truss, she instead goes downstairs and finishes watching her movie. This episodes theme is “war� the disembodied voice of Mary Alice tells us. And Edie understands the nature of war. Which makes sense since she fought for the Union Army in the battle of Anteitam.

In Church the Solis’s are listening to the sermon when Carlos notices a baby and starts pestering Gabrielle when they are going to try for another baby again. Gabrielle says it’s too soon after the miscarriage. That and the whole part about the last time she got pregnant it was against her will because he was tampering with her birth control pills. But that’s OK, Carlos isn’t like that anymore. He’s all about god now. Except for when he beat up the internet porn guy last episode. The priest then surprises them by introducing Sister Mary who is back from her mission in Africa. This elicited what I have to admit is the first truly laugh out loud moment for me the entire time I’ve been watching the show. In the middle of the quiet church Gabrielle, seeing the evil bitch nun, yells out “Son of a bitch!� and everyone turns around to look. Eva Longoria intentionally made me laugh. The first sign of the apocalypse.

Turns out she is right to worry because later we see Carlos meeting with Sister Mary in her car, since Gabrielle wouldn’t allow her in her house. Sister Mary says she thought he looked depressed in church. Carlos agrees and says it is because he wants to have children. When he tells Sister Mary that Gabrielle isn’t ready right now, Sister Mary then gives him a pamphlet on annulment, saying it may be the only option.

When Carlos confronts Gabrielle he asks her to promise him that someday she will be ready to have kids. Gabrielle says that she cannot promise that. When he hears that, Carlos shows her the annulment pamphlet Sister Mary gave him. In the last 2 weeks he has committed assault and now he is blackmailing his wife. So far his doing real well with this whole religious thing. And while I’m at it, why hasn’t the guy from last episode filed assault charges? Carlos clearly violated his parole and should be headed right back to prison. But instead he is going to try and reproduce. Fantastic.

When Gabby sees the annulment pamphlet she immediately knows who is behind it and goes to talk to the priest who is giving confession. She tells the priest that Sister Mary is ruining their marriage. They are always sneaking off to “private bible study�, and Carlos is saying her name in his sleep. When the priest asks them if she is saying that they are having sex, Gabrielle pauses for a second and then lies and says they are. When the priest gets up to leave, Gabrielle then goes back into the confessional and confesses her sin of lying to the priest to a new priest. Very ingenious working of the rules if I may say so.

When she gets home Carlos is on the phone. He looks shell shocked and when Gabrielle asks why he says that Sister Mary has been transferred to a parish in Alaska. They won’t even tell him why. I would think that stripping her of her nun status would be a better thing to do with allegations of sleeping with a parishioner, but hey, it’s the Catholic Church. You’re innocent until proven guilty. And when you're guilty we just move you around.

Posted by EdHIll on January 25, 2006 4:34 PM