How Much is That Baby in the Window? - 
by EdHIll
I know there is always a certain level of suspension of disbelief in certain kinds of TV shows. For instance 24 is structured in such a way that I am willing to overlook its huge gaping plot holes like how Jack Bauer can strangle a nun with her own entrails in front of the President one hour and then two hours later be put back out in the field on a "provisional" basis until the latest crisis has passed. Or the fact that for 6 straight seasons not one person has taken a number 2. With those shows you just kind of go with it because otherwise the writers have no other way to keep the plot going.
This weeks Desperate Housewives however is really trying my patience. It's like the writers are having a contest to see how often they can insult it's viewers intelligence. I half expect Terri Hatcher to rip off her mask revealing herself to be Mike Delfino’s long lost brother. Actually that would be believable, because she definitely looks like she’s wearing a mask. Ah well, At least the Applewhite’s were nowhere to be seen.
The show starts with a flashback and a cameo from dead Housewife and show narrator Mary Alice Young. Paul you see was able to see things coming in the business world, which is illustrated through a series of flashbacks where we see him predicting the advent of bottled water, Velcro shoes and snarky blog's about TV (he called his TVBlueBalls). In personal matters however he was never as good. We then cut to today as Paul is on the phone with an investor saying that he was just looking over the election results in Brazil and thinks its time to buy sugar. Which is interesting since Brazils elections don't happen until October. See what happens when the writers try to sound smart? Stick to writing what you know guys. Things like Susan tripping over stuff.
Soon there is a knock on the door and Paul is greeted by the crooked cop who is working for Noah Taylor. He tells Paul that he has to come downtown for questioning in a credit card scam his name has been linked with. Of course it's all a ploy and once he gets downtown they manage to get him in the back of a paddy wagon with other criminals. One of them then grabs a shiv from his shoe (that's right, a shoe-shiv) and tells him that Deidre's father sends his regards. From there we cut to outside the paddy wagon as a huge fight breaks out. Looks like Paul is no longer.
The next day Mike is outside Paul’s house when Felicia comes up and starts talking to him. She smiles as she tells him hat the police took him away in the middle of the night. Mike puts two ad two together and calls Noah Tyler to confront him on it. Noah admits that he had Paul Killed and Mike then tells him that was a big mistake. Now thatches killed the only person that Zach cares about he’ll never want to speak with him. Mike them saunters over to his cupboard all macho like and pulls out his gun.
Later that night Mike is talking with Zach saying he is trying to use his contacts with the police to find out what happened to Paul. The door rings and when Zach answers it it’s a gloating Felicia with some macaroons. I hate when gloating Felicia’s bring macaroons. Before she can gloat too long however the police arrive and Paul gets out of the back seat with bruises all over his face. We then get a flashback showing that the doughy middle aged Paul was able to beat his giant attacker off and escape without getting killed. Then he used his magical heat vision to break out of the wagon and fly away to the land of lollipop dreams and candy cane wishes.
Mike, Paul and Zach then decide to confront Noah directly. They bring Zach to Noah’s inner sanctum sanctorum. Zach then blackmails him into agreeing never to try and hurt his father again or else he will nrver get to look at his creepy grandson again. When Noah asks which father, meaning Mike, Zach says he means Paul, the only person he will ever care about. Awww, poor Mike. Noah agrees to the deal and then asks Zach to sit down and join him with some idle chit chat. Whereas Noah can tell him things like how best to run an evil empire, what color jumpsuit to make your henchmen wear (hint: black is slimming), Zach can talk about the best way to have a stalker like crush on girls and how to beat up old ladies (Punch em in the throat. They drop like flies).
At the crappy advertising agency that the Scavo's work at Paul is pitching his newest ad idea. And like every other ad idea pitched by this huge multi million dollar ad agency, it is done with a crappy drawing on a piece of construction paper. It’s a wonder they stay in business. Lynette doesn’t like his presentation since the whole “Eskimo� thing has been done before by a rival company just last month. She tells him that they can do better and moves on to the next person. Later Paul confronts Lynette about how he treated her in the boardroom. Lynette says he didn’t work hard on it because she knows he was watching the game last night instead of working. Paul storms off in a huff. And speaking of games, don’t forget to enter in your brackets for the TVGasm’s March Madness.
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