Carlos begs and pleads and even brings up the fact that Gabby said he could have an affair, but Wisteria Lane hath no fury like a woman scorn. When they are done, ChowMein asks Gabrielle if she can go too. And Gabrielle tells her she can go… start cooking dinner. ChowMein isn’t going anywhere while she has Gabrielle’s baby in her fortune cookie. ChowMein then says something under her breath in her native tongue, and both Gabby and I are in agreement that she wasn’t saying, “Thank you kind boss lady.” Gabrielle then tells ChowMein that she is the boss of her and shows her the slave trading papers to prove it. And channeling the character she used to play in Young and the Beautiful Life to Live, Eva Longoria warns ChowMein to behave or this will the WORST nine months of her life. I’ve got to say that this scene played pretty well (albeit soapy), and I’m pretty excited to see how this is going to turn out next season because I think they really played down ChowMein this season to make her more of a RoarMein next.

Next Stop: NoraTown. This is the funniest scene of the episode because Nora is casually crazy, sort of like Lynette, but in a funnier way. At one point she just starts yelling at Lynette and then meows at her. Literally. Lynette refers to herself as the mother of 80% of Tom’s children; Nora says she doesn’t want every Christmas to be ugly just because they don’t get along. It’s bizarre, and I love it. She informs the Scavos that what is more important than money is family. And they are now one big happy family. So she doesn’t want the back child support, and she took the 30 g’s they bribed her with and bought a house on the next block over. Next season, I think the sparks are going to fly between Nora and Lynette. And shockingly, I’m looking forward to it.

Poor Susan, though. She’s at her trailer which is parked on lover’s lane, waiting for Mike, and you just know things are going to turn out bad for them. Mostly because 2 seconds later as Mike is leaving in his NEW NISSAN truck, a car lights up and follows him.

Danielle had suggested that she and Matthew sneak into her mom’s house because she knows the combination to her safe. Matthew was hesitant, but Gizmo had just gotten wet and was starting to spurt Gremlins from her back, so Matthew thought it might not be the worst idea to get out of the motel for a little while. As luck would have it, Bree hasn’t gotten back from the Michael Scofield she just pulled at the Looney Bin. Unfortunately, Bree had changed the combination to the safe, but Matthew has the ultimate combo. He goes to his house to get a sledgehammer and rifle through his mother’s pocketbook. This leads to a Betty/Matthew emotional smack down where Betty plays the part of Velma and Matthew is Mr. O’Hare, the old lighthouse keeper. She starts explaining to him what she knows he did (Melanie. Bludgeon. Cover-up), and he starts monologuing about how he would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those nosy kids and their pesky dog! There’s also a nice little “you never loved me as much as Caleb” moment, but it’s about 22 episodes too late for me to care. Betty decides that she’ll have the last laugh though and calls the police once her son leaves.

Matthew brings the sledgehammer down on the safe, and not, sadly, on Danielle’s head. God, she’s annoying. It is worth noting, however, that Bree keeps about $50,000 in her safe at home, which isn’t strange, I suppose, if you have the funds. What is strange is that the safe is just lying right next to her bed on the floor. Not hidden behind a painting or in the floor. It’s just right next to her nightstand, like where I keep my sandals. Oh, rich people!

Posted by on May 23, 2006 6:25 PM