The opener this week is all about Edie. And in a newsflash: She's a whore! Okay, not a whore, just a woman who enjoys carnal pursuits... For money! No, seriously, I liked slutty Edie so much better than neutered Edie of the past two seasons. In what I assume is supposed to be funny, we see her head to her weekly confession, where she tells her priest all about her sexual exploits. "I had sex with a circus midget!", "I let a man shave my testicles!" etc. However, something funny happened on the way to Slutville, as Edie went to visit Mike Delfino, who finally asked her what the deal was between them pre-coma and she decided to come clean. Alright, maybe clean with a side of guilt trip, telling him that they were neighbors only and he never really paid attention to her. But in her defense, right here she has the opportunity to really play the manipulation card to the tilt, and yet she shockingly tells the truth. It's a tender moment, because upon closer examination the rivalry between Edie and Susan for Mike's affection was only ever really between Edie and Susan; Mike had picked SkeleHatcher from nearly the beginning. Edie then somewhat inexplicably tells Mike that from the first moment she saw him she "sorta fell in love with [him]". A little too much? I mean, honestly, she was engaged to Karl all last year, so now this "Mike's the one" nonsense is kind of hard to swallow. But it is nice to see Nicolette Sheridan shave her 5 o'clock shadow and play Edie a little more vulnerable for a change. Then something miraculously awful happens. Edie asks Mike if next time he sees her outside on the street, if he could just look at her, because he never did before. And Mike says... are you ready for this? "I'm looking at you now!" followed by some tongue kissing. I can't quite type it in the gravelly "serious" voice that Mike does, and I certainly can't sell it like his current Somalia orphan-chic look can, but let me tell you it's woefully, unintentionally HILARIOUS. Slightly more intentionally funny is when Edie next goes to confession: "Mike Delfino and I made out today... and it was great!" And she's giddy like a little school boy. I mean girl. School girl.

At the Hodgepodges, we are informed that Bree hates unexpected visitors, as we see various people dropping by, like some religions nuts or unexpected family members. Hmm, I wonder if when Andrew came back from shooting his scenes as an extra in The Basketball Diaries (if you've seen the movie, you know what scene I'm talking about...) she made him beg for change, head to a phone booth and call in advance. However, today's unexpected rat-tat on the door is from Crazy Aunt Jackie, cleverly disguised as Orson's former neighbor turned
conspiracy theorist nutcase, Carolyn Bigsby. Carolyn isn't looking particularly crazy, and while I, myself mistake her for Aunt Jackie from time to time, I think that actress Laurie Metcalf is more closely channeling her inner Debbie Salt. She's accompanied by her doting husband, Harvey, who we know is no good, because he's played by the same guy who made Matt cut off his tranny friend's penis on Nip/Tuck last year. You see, Harv brought his unstable wife (fresh off illegal Mexican anti-deps) to the Hodge house so she could apologize for being such a nut bar. Harv and Orson used to totally be BFFs, so Bree decides to accept Carolyn's forced apology. She even goes so far as to half-heartedly accept a tentative dinner invitation by the Bigsby's. However, once the Bigs' are out of sight, Bree, nay, KimberBree, informs Orson that she'll be glad to go out to dinner with Carolyn when, to paraphrase Wayne Campbell, monkey fly out of her butt.

Posted by Umnata on October 31, 2006 2:07 PM