Recap: Desperate Housewives: Aunt Jackie on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown - 
by Umnata
This week's episode of Desperate Housewives, was the much talked about, heavily promoted Supermarket Hostage episode. And I'll be damned if it didn't deliver. It seems the last few weeks of great episodes reached its peak with this, the season's best episode of Desperate Housewives thus far. This greatness is mostly because of Laurie Metcalf as crazy Carolyn Bigsby, the one woman whose buttons were pushed over the edge, by hearing about her husband's infidelity. She was so pushed over the edge, in fact, that one of the Wisteria Lane Dwellers didn't make it out of the Market alive! But who was it? Find out after the jump.
It's Friday and Carolyn Bigsby's planned ordinary day has quickly turned to shit. She was hoping to make a strudel for her husband Harvey, and some other domestic chores, none of which seem very important to us except for the fact that she mailed a letter. This could also turn out to be part of her mundane list of chores, but methinks someone might be getting a letter from Aunt Jackie shortly. Her day took a serious downward turn when someone (all we see is a hand holding a basket of flowers) told Carolyn something she wasn't supposed to hear. So now, Carolyn is going a little nutso in her car. Debbie Salt! Debbie Salt! Debbie Salt! Carolyn heads into the Grocery store Harv owns to have a little chat. And like any self-respecting Republican she has her Beretta in her handbag for good measure. Carolyn kindly tells Harv that if he loves Monique so much, than she wants him to be with her. Harv explains that Monique is dead, but Carolyn already knew that. Oh... she was... she was making a... I get it... Carolyn pulls out her gun and starts shooting. Harv runs into his office to hide. In a moment of realization Carolyn decides that she's going to seize the moment and screams to the cowering grocery store patrons: "Nobody goes anywhere!"
It's now Thursday night and I'm already irritated by this gimmick. Damn you Quentin Tarantino! It seems that although Mary Alice is super duper annoying, Lynette is still dreaming of her and not categorizing this as a nightmare. The Mary Alice-mare was a replay of the last time that Lynette had seen Mary Alice pre-brain splatter. It was the day that Mary Alice had discovered that blackmail letter from Mrs. Huber that got all these hijinks on Wisteria Lane started three years ago. Lynette knew that something was wrong with Mary Alice, but there was a leak in her grocery bag, so she couldn't stop to see what the deal was. She's been blaming herself for Mary Alice's death ever since. Well, now I'm blaming you too, Lynette. If you could've just put down the broken jar of pickles NONE of us would have to listen to Mary Alice's goddamn voiceovers. I hope you're happy.
Lynette then wakes up from this dream like only people on television shows do:
For the love of crap: It's now Friday Morning. Lynette meets up with Susan and Gabby to tell them about the dream. Lynette laments about doing nothing to help Mary Alice. Save the Housewife. Save the world.
The three ladies then notice a new neighbor moving in to the Young house. Honestly, it's so nice to see them together, but where's Bree been? Sure it may have been "insensitive" to invite her to Margarita night on the porch last week, but where is she for the coffee clutch? Anyway, the ladies are just heading over to introduce themselves, when Lynette wonders aloud whether or not this poor guy (unmarried, taking care of sickly sister) knows that Mary Alice killed herself in his new living room. Thinking better of being the bearer of bad news, the female Dusty, Lucky and Lil' Ned decide to let the guy unpack without their spreading of ill-cheer.
It seems that Bree was way too busy approaching her husband about the abuse charges Alma brought up against him, which Carolyn brought to her attention last week. Orson explains that he didn't beat Alma but rather pushed her after she attacked him. Orson, ever the handy-dandy, was explaining to Alma that she couldn't get a wine stain out with dish soap, causing her to go berserk and start beating him with a Sautee pan. Ha! These lines are delivered from Kyle MacLachla like pure comic gold. The man is doing his best ever work here. Bree reluctantly accepts his explanation but adds the coda: "I just wish there were fewer things for you to explain." See here is where I'd usually deride Bree for being such a dumb character for believing Orson, but gosh, if I don't also believe Dr. Giggles. Sure, he ran over Mike, but come on, if you saw Mike Delfino walking across the street wouldn't you also him run him over with your car? No? Just me? Fine.
The Babe is all boobs and brass as she heads to Lynette and Tom's for a little chitchat. I'm so glad that The Babe finally made her move on Tom, and that Lynette and Tom didn't have a big, stupid fight over it. Upon seeing The Babe start talking to Tom, Lynette gets one of the best non-Carolyn lines of the night: "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You've stepped onto my property and now you've talked to Tom. That's two rules you've broken and I'm not sure that top doesn't make three." The Babe informs the Scavos that both she an the mini-Babe are moving to Mexico. AND IT'S ALL LYNETTE'S FAULT! AGAIN!
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