Lynette is also at the market, making small talk with the new neighbor, Art, she and the girls saw earlier. Now if your mind was blown last week when we saw that Carolyn's husband was played by Aunt Jackie's former boyfriend, Gary, you're really gonna be in for a treat when you notice that Art is played by the very same guy who played Aunt Jackie's abusive boyfriend, Fisher. And... And... And... Fisher and Aunt Jackie - married in real life! With these three on Desperate Housewives, Sara Gilbert on The Class, Sarah Chalke as the light of my life Elliot on Scrubs, John Goodman guesting on Studio 60 and the original Domestic Goddess herself popping up in My Name is Earl and her own HBO special, the world is finally safe for the Conner clan. Now if only someone could find DJ.

Lynette sees The Babe entering the market and abruptly ends her chat with Art so she can hide from The Babe's maternal wrath.

Susan and Edie are in Harv's office with their delinquent children. Julie is trying to defend herself to her mother, but Susan wants nothing to do with it. The Julie that Susan knows would've never had a boy over or drink beer, so now Susan doesn't know if she can believe Julie's claims of innocence. In a nice small touch, Austin makes some smart ass comment about the next step in Julie's downward spiral would be listening to "the rock & roll" music," which elicits a head flick from Aunt Edie. Susan storms out of the office to tell Ian that he can leave for Paris without her, but not before playing the Mother Guilt Ace of Spade: "I'm so disappointed in you!"

Susan walks out, just as Carolyn is walking in. "Hey Carolyn!" to which Carolyn only mutters. Wait a second! Didn't we see Carolyn talk-mutter that same thing to someone earlier in the episode!?!? Lame.

Edie is trying to get Austin off the hook by offering him up as Harv's sex slave for a month. No, stock guy for a month. Austin objects to the terms as he doesn't feel that hard labor is equivalent to the $10 bottle of whiskey he stole. Edie states that part of his punishment is that he was too dumb to at least steal a good brand of Whiskey. Its family values like that which keep America's future bright.

The Babe meets up with Lynette (in the background, Carolyn is facing off against Harvey, which we've already seen) and is none too pleased by the fact that she is suing for custody. The Babe makes all kinds of threats towards Lynette, but as we saw last week, she's just way out of her league.

The bickering ends when a gun shot is fired by Carolyn. And now we're all caught up! Yay! Harvey, still in mid-argument with Edie, runs into his office with her in tow. Carolyn screams for them to get out, stops for a second to compose herself, and then fully embraces the fact that she is a crazy lady holding people hostage in the back of a food market.

Outside, Susan is telling Ian that she can't make it to Paris, because Julie waited 16 years to rebel and Susan isn't going to miss a minute of it. Ian suggests bringing Julie with them to Paris, but Susan doesn't feel like eating crepes and checking out the Louvre will really sell Julie on what she did wrong.

The Babe and Lynette are still at the front of the store where they get the lowdown on the sitch from a stock guy. The brave kid thinks he can make it to the door, but has no idea that Carolyn is really Aunt Jackie who is REALLY Quick Draw McGraw. She spins around and shoots the guy in the back, proving that Carolyn isn't foolin' around when it comes to her hostages. "Attention shoppers we're having a special today on not getting shot, but it's only available in the back of the store." Oh Carolyn, how you slay me.

We meet some of the other hostages, which include a woman whose son is in Carolyn's Sunday School class, new guy Art (payback's a bitch, Fisher), Austin, Julie and some other randoms. The Babe and Lynette are still, quite humorously, cowering in the front of the store.

Carolyn introduces herself (always the hostess!), while imploring Harvey to come out of his office so they can have a little chat face to barrel of gun. Harvey has phoned the police, but Edie thinks he should just go out there and take "one for the team." Sometimes I really like Edie, because whatever I say about Nicolette Sheridan and her questionable gender, black comedy just flows effortlessly from her lips, like urine from her penis.

At the front of the store Lynette is using her cell phone and her wiles to phone home and get in touch with Tom. When she gets on the phone with Parker, one of the younger minions of Lucifer she put forth on Earth, it's one of the funnier scenes of the night. Parker is complaining about his brothers not sharing their Legos and Lynette has to promise him a robot that can shoot lasers from its eyes to get him to calm down and give the phone to Tom. Unfortunately by the time Tom gets to the phone, Lynette and The Babe have been spotted by Carolyn.

Posted by Umnata on November 8, 2006 10:56 AM