Dom and the Case of the Missing Shrek Doll - 
by Umnata
What trouble will Dom get the boys into this week on Entourage. It's only been a week since Dom has infiltrated our favorite Holywood foursome, but he's already sparked talk about a certain shark that may or may not be in the process of being jumped. I don't think anything is that dire just yet, but Dom is certainly bringing out the worst in our guys, and it seems, in the writers. This week, in the wake of Aquaman's record breaking opening, Vince and Eric are ready to see some of those big offers that Ari was making them wait for until after the boffo box office was reported. So what will Vince Chase's next movie role be? And more importantly, how will Dom annoy Turtle and Drama, Jeopardize Eric and Vince and generally alienate the Entourage audience? Keep reading to find out.
Oh Eric, you poor, delusional little man boy. It's 6:00 am on the dot, and Eric has set his alarm so he can call Ari and bust his balls first thing in the morning. You see its Monday and by now Vince has officially been anointed the King of Atlantis, and the speculative numbers that they received on Friday, have been confirmed. Aquaman has made Vince the biggest movie star in the world. But Ari has already been up for hours, drinking coffee, working out and dancing a blood oath to keep him in Satan's good graces. You know, a normal morning for a Hollywood agent. Ari had promised Vinnie offers once the movie opened - and boy are there ever offers! Ari Gold Super Duper Talent Agency. 11:30. Be there or be square sucker!
The guys are getting rushed out of the house by Turtle and Drama and heading to the car. Eric and Vince can't figure out what the hurry is, but then Dom hunkers in on their little party and Turtle gets sent back to sitting bitch. I know that Turtle and Drama have always been the super couple on this show, but this year they are kicking it up a notch, and I love it. Dom apologizes for being late and asks where to? The Jew Agent? Anti-Semitism has never sounded so poetic as when it spews forth from Dom's lips. Eric tells him he can't talk like that out there. Dom is going to have to think of some new, less offensive nicknames for all his favorite ethnicities, and I think it's giving him a headache.
As they are walking to Ari's office, Dom correctly states that Eric has a lot of problems with how he carries himself. I wouldn't say that he has problems with it, I'd say I have a problem with it. I don't know if Eric necessarily has a problem with the way that Dom carries himself, I just think he (like many of us - especially after reading your comments) are insulted by his unoriginality. Jew Agent? You're not exactly breaking new ground are you "Queens Tough Guy #5"? But Dom assures Eric (and us) that he is a new man ever since he got out of prison, and he's not just talking about his appreciation for toilet wine, and anal play. Ari meets Dom with a quip about his designer tank top (by Le Fruit of de Loom, I'm guessing), and Dom reacts exactly how "Queens Tough Guy #5" is supposed to react: You talking to me, jerk off? Ari says he just doesn't want to get Lloyd overexcited, because he's totally into bad boys. Oh Lloyd, you can do better, I'm sure. Dom pulls Eric aside and tells him if the "oriental even looks at him funny, he's taking him down." Dom, I won't even start on your blatantly homophobic comment that is probably a little overdramatic since you just spent a few years in jail, where even Tony Soprano said it was okay to take it up the ass. But calling Lloyd an oriental! Don't you know that oriental only refers to rugs and food? People are either Asian or Pacific Islander. How offensive.
Dom is following Vinnie and Eric into Ari's office, and Turtle and Drama try to stop him, because the big room is only for the big boys. Sorry Dom. But Ari says it's an important day and that all the kids can play. Yay!
Ari starts telling Vince about the roles that he has for him, like Flight - it's Dead Poets Society in space and Darren Aronofsky is directing. I'd sell my immortal soul to see that movie. They're offering $8 million dollars. He tosses it in the garbage as well as a dozen other scripts. Why you ask? Has Ari gone off his meds? No, no, no. It's because he's got the big one: Medaean: The Pablo Escobar Biopic. The holy grail of Young Hollywood scripts that has been resurrected from production hell based solely on Vince's interest. Phil Rubenstein, a mega animation producer, has optioned the script and now all they need is to get him to sign off on Vince in the lead role. Phil is having a party over the weekend in Santa Barbara and the boys are going to go and charm his pants off. Once his pants are off they'll charm anything else they have to - they are getting this movie made.
MEDAEAN YOU SAY!?!?
The guys head down to some swanky store to get Dom an outfit "with sleeves." Dom thinks that Vince should just tell Phil to make him an offer or tell him he's not even interested, because he's got so many other million dollar offers. Oh yeah? That's brilliant advice. I guess that my comparisons between Dom and Vin Diesel last week don't stop at the chrome dome. They follow the same work philosophy as well. And look how well that turned out for Vin. I hear The Pacifier 2: Born to be Pacified is gonna be awesome.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Next Page... ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums