Dom and the Case of the Missing Shrek Doll - 
by Umnata
I guess to celebrate, Dom has ordered another one of his loud, high-end prostitutes, and is plugging away at her the next morning, waking up the entire house. Ari gets a call from Eric, and thinks they have an offer. They don't have an offer, they have a problem. A big one. Phil's people called Ari, and it seems that someone robbed him of a Shrek doll that meant the world to him, last night at the party. Ari, of course thinks its Dom, and Eric, although he denies it at first, agrees.
Dom comes out to the deck where the guys are having their breakfast, and asks Vince to borrow a couple of bucks so he can pay for his very vocal and probably very hoarse whore. He also manages to throw in an insult to Drama's cooking for good measure. Eric indicates that Dom is the lead suspect of the Shrek doll theft, and although Vince doesn't like it, ask him about it. While he's out, Turtle and Drama's job is to toss the house looking for the doll.
Vince and Eric take Dom out to eat to make their accusation in style. Nothing says we're accusing you of theft, but still your friends, like brunch at Toast. Dom assumes that this little meeting is about his rowdy hookers, but Vince says the girls are fine. Apparently, Vince likes living life like a sound guy on a cheesy porno set. They tell Dom about the doll, and although they hate asking, they need to talk to him about it before the cops do. Dom then goes on this long rant about friendship and loyalty that was so trite and sitcom-y and obvious that I barely registered it the first time I watched the episode. He knows why they asked because he has stolen before and his past will always haunt him, blah blah blah. He may have hurt a lot of people, but he's never hurt Vince of Eric. Only the 6 million people who watch Entourage every week, that's all. He swears he didn't do it, but just to drive the point home he does this weird clearing his throat clearing noise thing.
He asks Vince and Eric if they believe him and Vince does. Eric says he does, but then makes the same weird throat clearing noise that Dom made. It's the first time Eric's ever been funny, and I love it.
Apparently, Eric knows that Dom was lying because whenever they played poker the throat clear was Dom's biggest tell. Seriously? This loud, obtrusive, obvious noise, was his tell? I can't believe that this is only the second episode that Dom's been in, because at this moment it feels like an eternity. Eric might be convinced, but Vince isn't. Vince, I'm going to punch you in your face.
Back at the house Turtle and Drama are tossing Dom's salad, I mean room, searching for the Shrek doll. Turtle is searching the dresser, and can't remember the order of how the shirts were originally in there. Was it red and then white? Or white and then red? Drama says the only solution is to dispose of the shirts to leave no evidence behind. Why do I get the feeling that Drama learned that technique playing Office O'Reilly on some random Movie of the Week starring Connie Selleca in the 80's?
Ari is on the phone with Phil, who is still in his silk pajamas sitting up in bed. He reminds me of a bizarre love child between Orson Welles at the beginning of Citizen Kane and Howard Hughes. Phil is certain that Dom is the one who stole his procious. Ari says that he can't just throw allegations around like that, but Phil's maid saw Dom snooping around upstairs where the doll was. Ari begs Phil not to throw away such a great movie on a hunch, but Phil doesn't care, he just wants his doll back!
Ari calls Eric and gives him the ultimatum that Phil has presented: The doll or Medaean. Eric says they are shit out of luck because they don't have the doll. Eric tries to defend Dom, saying that Ari grew up someplace where it was okay to accuse someone who didn't look like they went to Harvard. But Ari corrects him: He grew up in a place where if you were accused of something, chances are, you did it. That, ladies and gentleman is the basic difference between L.A. and Queens. Vince doesn't think he did it, but Eric does, which doesn't matter because they need proof regardless. Proof you want? No problem. Los Angeles is the easiest place in the world to find proof, especially if it doesn't exist.
At the house, Drama and Turtle are playing video games, and Dom is asking them about his missing shirts. He only brought 5 with him and two of them are missing. The guys deny any involvement, and surprisingly, Vince backs them up. Before things can get any uglier, Eric and Ari come in, with a videotape.
Ari says that Dom has one chance to come clean about the doll, or he's going to show the video to Vince. Dom calls his bluff, and inevitably, the only thing on that tape, is his daughter's Bat Mitzvah. It was a risky move, but a good one. This has only infuriated the Dom, and Ari flees the house.
Previous page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Next Page... ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums