Back to You, Bob - 
by Umnata
Rufio Sneakers! Public Masturbation! Downtrodden Old People! Pretty rad, right? Boy, do those Entourage guys know how to keep my interest. Keeping up with the split-them-up theme from last week, the guys separate again for most of this episode: Turtle and Vince (nice to see them spending some QT together) are on the hunt for the Holy Grail of sneakers, Eric is doing the studio pitch thing with Ari and Father Time, I mean, Bob, and Drama is finally shooting his big monologue for the Ed Burns pilot. The results? Another solid episode. And what more could we expect from: Rufio Sneakers! Public Masturbation! Downtrodden Old People! Seriously, why am I not running the marketing department over at HBO?
Drama is freaking out about his 2 page monologue. Rightfully so, I wouldn't want to be the one who messes up those pearls of wisdom spewing from Ed Burns mediocre mind. Drama is doing the multiple outfit change thing, while Turtle is busting his balls, which Drama doesn't much appreciate. Turtle tells him not to worry - he probably won't have a panic attack. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MENTION THAT!?!?! Apparently, Drama used to be prone to panic attacks. Turtle apologizes and gives him some pretty solid adviceon how to relax: Jerk off. Why do I have a feeling that this is probably Turtle's remedy for most problems? Jerk off or eat a sandwich, I'm guessing. When he's really stressed, probably both at the same time.
The guys start going their separate ways: Drama is skipping the jerk off to head for the set to meet with THE Jerk Off, while Eric is meeting Ari and old-time producer Bob, are going over to Paramount to pitch them the Ramones movie starring Vince as Joey Ramone (pardon me while I stop Joey Ramone from spinning in his grave).
Speaking of Vince, he is using his immense amounts of downtime to spend some face time with Turtle, who is going to use his Saigon hush money to buy himself some kicks. Sneakers you say? Lame! Yes, sneakers. But these aren't regular sneakers, they are magic sneakers designed by Fukijamas, a graffiti artist who designs one pair of Nikes every year. They only make about 200 pairs a year, and since Turtle is not only a Sneaker aficionado, but an art lover as well, he must have them. Oh wait, no, he's not any of those things. He's a jerk off mooch. My bad.
Ari and Eric get to the Paramount lot with no Bob in sight. Eric doesn't need his Hobbit sense of smell to notice something is fishy here. Ari didn't call Bob for the meeting. Again, Eric doesn't understand how things work in the business. Bob is a legend, he's protected, Ari says. Bringing him to the meeting would only screw things up. This is usually where I chide Eric for being so naïve, but I have to agree with his decision to bring Bob into the loop on this one. It's one thing to be an incompetent, transplanted B&T rat, but it's quite another to be a cockbag. Eric calls Bob and redirects him to the Paramount meeting. Bob may be old, but he knows when he's getting scallywagged.
Ari calms him down, saying it was all just a misunderstanding. Ari is visibly displeased with Bob's presence, however. On the other hand, Bob can feel no pain. He's super psyched to be having a sit down with his old friend Dawn Steele, the head of Paramount Studios. What's that? Oh. Yeah. Dawn Steele's been dead for a year. Bob checks his notes, and also crosses out a meeting with Walt Disney, John. F. Kennedy, and most oddly of all, Harriet Tubman.
Vince and Turtle get to the store where the line is wrapped down the street. Turtle explains to Vince the importance of these sneakers. Vince doesn't see how they are going to be able to get them if they have to wait on this huge line. That is the first phase of Turtle's one phase plan: Cut the line, because Vince is a movie star. Vince refuses, much to the pleasure of the crowd. Turtle can't believe it, but they head to the back of the line.
Drama's gotten to his shoot for the Ed Burns pilot, which by definition and casting is destined to suck. Drama is visibly shaken, and things are about to get worse. Not only for Drama but for a few million people who will tune into "Ed Burns Presents The Brothers McOneNote." Drama's monologue just got beefed up to a nice 3 minute speech; the whole scene is just Drama's face and the lens. Every actor's dream, yes, but also, every viewer's nightmare.
| 1 | 2 | 3 Next Page... ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums