Holy shit. That was hilarious.

And yes, there is a new Giada update forthcoming. But I'll have to let this post soak up all its deserved glory in the meantime.

I think I might also add a Barefoot Contessa watch as well. Don't know what it will be, but surely it will capture all her WASPy charm.

uh, B-side, I know you are new to the site, but you only have to press post once.

sg-dub I too share in your love for all things food network (their website is awesome) and although Emeril made the network, I think his time has definitely passed...

AMAZING.

thank god you guys are covering food network now! hilarious.

I did post only once! It was an error. I shall delete it.

So funny!!!!!

I love me some Paula....and I've actually made her completely awesome hot chocolate (hardly any lard). If you want to do a Paula watch, I'll be here....she's the cat's ass, man.

Nice work. The Svan watches the food network plenty and appreciates any recap you can do.

This is great! She still butters whatever food she makes (in addition to the bucket of lard and pound of butter)and can't wait to eat it! Please keep an eye on her dog- as she has him on her special diet too and feeds him as she eats. Barefoot Contessa loves the fat too, only she uses the phrase "how bad can that be" after adding such ingredients and then jets off to her flaming florist.

That was sour cream, right? Right??? Or perhaps vanilla ice cream? Marsmallow fluff? Hair mousse? Please?
Oh, Paula...I'll miss you when you're gone.

On another note, what about the Sandra Lee rehab watch?

That was awesome. I didn't even know lard was commercially available. I mean jesus f'ing christ, its like slathering crisco on your hotdog.

I also am a devotee of the food network. I love almost everything they show. Watching the insane Rachel Ray refer to extra virgin Olive Oil as EVOO and qualifying it with "that means extra virgin Olive Oil" EVERY SINGLE TIME. Whats teh goddamed point of making it an acronym?

Alton Browns fantastic 12 step process in how to store bread crumbs.

Bobby Flay just acting like an all out jackass.

Watching Marc Summers avoid touching any food products because of his freaky OCD.

Its got something for everyone. I especially recommend the All Star Thanksgiving special where they get all of them in one room for a thanksgiving dinner. You could sense tension throughout, especially when Rachel Ray would just blather on and on about her soup idiotically entitled "Orange You Glad It's Thanksgiving Soup." Alton even made a crack about Giada's weight. It was awesome.

Does anyone not hate Rachel Ray?

I actually like Rachel Ray and love her 30 minute meals, as I am watching it right now. Food Network is so part of my channel rotation. Love it and Paula and her scary turducken recipe.

Love, love, love to watch Paula -- do you think she has a clue that her two sons play on the "alternate" team? It actually makes me feel better about my cooking to watch her slather on the lard. Anyone (Ed Hill?) catch the bizarre all star Halloween show? OMG -- Rachel took a blob of cream cheese and prosciutto and formed into the shape of a corpse and wrapped it up with strips of filo pastry to make a mummy -- it was absolutely fascinating to me that someone would actually do this. Oh -- and then she decorated it after she baked it with little olive rings for the eyes and a pimento strip for a smile -- on a MUMMY??

Oh -- forgot to cast my vote for coverage of the Barefoot Contessa. Besides you, few are qualified to delve into that husband/wife/food relationship.

So sadly my life has come down to watching the food network all day while online reading tvgasm. No joke. Everything has fallen into place and is tied together. Life is good :)

WHat the hell?

Nobody has used lard since the 1950s. It's surely not healthy for you. It would be better turned into soap.

Does the food network know she's making such cholesterol laden foods? I wonder if they have an advertising deal with the cholesterol-lowering pill.

Yeah, that's how it works. The shows raise your cholesterol, the commercials lower it. It's brilliant.

The Halloween Show was hilarious!!! That mummy was so weird, though i think Rachel realized it looked like crap. The strange thing is it wasn't targeted for kids; someone really thought a smiling glob of phyllo dough would go over well with adults. Then again, just about anything looks good after enough of those crazy glowing test tube cocktails!

Even better, though, was Sandra Lee's Halloween show. Her "naughty Heidi" costume was priceless.

I LOVE Paula Dean! I never actually make anything she cooks but I watch just about every episode of Paula's Home Cooking (yes, I am that big a loser.)

I especially loved her brownie recipe, which called for literally one pound (4 sticks) of butter for one pan of brownies. Not to mention an entire bag of marshmallows. Mmmm.

Has anyone ever counted how many times Sandra Lee says the word "fantastic" in an average episode?

Paula and the barefoot contessa look like they are swingers. I can picture them in a hot tub together. Please do more food network stuff.

ed hill- thanks for the EVOO rant, drives me nuts too. I love Paula too just read a zap2it interview where she said she was agorophobic for years and basicly stayed in her house and cooked. Food Network loves the disorders. What's it called when Marc Summers creeps you out? Maybe it's some childhood Double Dare related shit but the guy is a fucking creep

According to the Food Network's resident food scientist Alton Brown, lard actually has less cholesterol and fat than regular old butter.

Still the idea of putting rendered pig fat straight on the hot dog... Ye Gods.

Paula is the best. She learned to cook wherever my gram learned, because they use the same philosophy - "There is no food that can't be improved with at least a quarter pound of butter." I like all of the Food Network hosts except Rachel Ray (ugh!) and Alton Brown (Nerds are funny! Who knew?).

As a big 'mo in 'Mo City, Dave Lieberman is cute, but bland. Giada is sweet, apparently suffering from water-on-the-brain, but is bland.

But the Contessa is a fag hag if ever there was one. She tries to feature her hubby more, but the 'mos are the ones that really have a place in her heart! Love her!

Paula rules. I'm also a fan of Ina Garten...she's not quite as indulgent, but she certainly knows how to throw a decadent shindig. She also seems oddly sexual for a woman of her age and girth.

And I've gotta represent for Rachael Ray. She has roughly four different shows now, and she's always quite convincing when she tries a bite of any foodstuff. Her bulging eyes, overexaggerated 'yum!'...it never gets old. She's also an oddly frugal tipper.

Christ, do I watch that much Food network, too?

No joke, my BF and I were watching Paula one day, and she was pouring melted butter into something...and she put the bowl to her mouth!!! I almost projectile-vomited all over the living room. Turns out she was faking, but you know she did it when she cut to commercial. I feel greasy just looking at her food, I can't imagine actually EATING it. Ugh.

Does anyone still Have Paula's hot chocolate recipe? I've heard it's to die for and I have to try it!!

Someone other than my husband and I that enjoys the food network? Hurrah! We live up the street from the bakery of the "sugar rush" host. We've been there a few times, its not that impressive. We still can't figure out how he's hosting a show.

Morimoto from Iron Chef America just opened a resturant nearby as well, I'm hoping the chairman comes out when I'm starting to eat shouting "alle cusine!"

Personally, I like the competition shows. Cupcake challenge, sugar challenge, chocolate challenge. Even the old Iron Chef shows are entertaining. Rachel Ray just gives me a headache.

She'll totally live to 100 years old, like those old Nebraska farmers that put cream in their cereal instead of milk. The philosophy is, "The fat makes my arteries slick so the blood just glides right through..."
Seriously--I've never known a farmer who ate, "lite n' healthy", and they all die really, really old. it's the fakey, refined crap that does you in.

Have any of you watched "The Secret life of ..." the host Jim O'Conner has got to be one of the biggest dorks on tv.

Shelley (#27) Just form lard in the shape of a cookie, add chips and bake.

LOVE Paula
LOVE Giada

Rachel's tipping philosophy is REALLY stingy

The Barefoot Contessa one day made a beef tenderloin roast with gorgonzola cream..it was a WHOLE quart of heavy cream reduced down and big handfuls of cheese added..my heart hurt watching but it looked good

I've made 4 or 5 of Giada's recipes and they are easy..

I wanna cook like Paula but who will pay my mortgage when i keel over?

u don't have 2 be close to know that the guy who hosts sugar rush does not belong on tv

you could talk about barefoot and her "call me by my WHOLE first name" homosexual friends. she's such a hag.

Paula Dean's coleslaw recipe calls for fresh bacon grease. Nuff said.

YES!! Food Network coverage! You guys rock the house.

I adore Paula Dean, and I watch the Food Network all the damned time. It's almost a sickness. I'd probably never cook half the stuff they make, but who cares?! I WOULD eat Paula's stuff, though. I love the hell out of fat. Good stuff.

PLEASE cover Barefoot Contessa - she's definitely WASP-ish and I love it.

Ooh, yes - Rachael Ray is a HORRID tipper. And can we do away with the 'YUM-O!'??

That irks the hell out of me.

It's about time I found my fellow Rachel Ray haters!!! I can't stand her overly exagerated hand gestures in the beginning of the show and that EVOO thing - I thought my dad was going to shoot the tv! He can't stand her either. We need to let the food network know how many people simply can't stand her or they'll keep giving her shows.

I love the Food Network coverage! I have been addicted to this channel for years. This is so hilarious and I love all of the comments, too!

My sister sent me this because she knows what a Food Network junkie I am. And I love Paula Deen the most. I mean, the woman made bread pudding with Krispy Kreme donuts. God love her.

Thank you for recognizing Rachael Ray's annoying habits - "EVOO" and "Yum-O" make me want to kick her.

But let's not forget Ina's annoying habit of having to declare that every single ingredient she adds will give the dish "lots of great FLAVOR."

And finally, there is no way Giada eats her own cooking. The bitch has like 2 baby carrots a day, I'm sure.

sg-dub,

Tell everyone that you were kidding regarding the lard on the hot dog.

LOL.

I watched that episode and it was coleslaw she put on her already heavily laden bacon-wrapped cheese dog.

I love Paula.

By the way, too freakin funny, her son's are married, so unless they are on the DL, I believe they are both hetero.

Oh my God! Are you people serious? Ina's friends are all GAY?? I never would have picked up on that.....lol. Speaking of that, Dave Lieberman does seem to always to cooking a special meal for "a buddy"... but he is kind of cute. The one I really can't stand has not yet been mentioned: Michael Chiarello. It's also amazing how Sarah Moulton turns that fake smile on and off. I guess I just watch the Food Network way too much.

Finally...some Food Network coverage! I thought I was all alone in my obsession. And by the way, Rachael Ray rocks!! I love her multiple shows. I have all of her cookbooks. And I don't even cook! But I can zap a pizza, review my son's homework, pay all of my bills online, and sew the most gorgeous silk panels in the time it takes her to heat up a skillet. Who needs 30 whole minutes to cook a meal? She just seems real to me and I like that.

And for all you Rachel Ray haters, she did a spread for FHM. Check these out:

http://www.jossip.com/gossip/2005_04_rachel_ray.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/23/26163010_8e7c1c2c10.jpg

I'm sure there are more on the FHM website. I just can't go there right now seeing as how I am at work.

You could do a Barefoot Contessa watch on how many times she spills crap that she's cooking on herself! She really gets into it!

!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE RACHAEL RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is ONE damn fine cook. I sometimes only have 30 minutes to put a meal together you know kids and all. And the food she makes my kids will eat she is a normal person using ingredients that anyone can pick up at the local convenient store. So quite ragging on her! Also, I use bacon grease in things as well like green beans, kidney beans, and in fried eggs. Old family thing. Gives a wonder taste and all you really need is about a teaspoon full.

How come every time Ina sends Jeffrey to the market, he has such a tough time figuring out what broccoli or carrots are? He's a dean at Yale, for crissake... if he doesn't know, couldn't he ask the cameraman who just happens to be with him in the market?

Sorry it should say that bacon grease "Gives it a WONDERFUL taste..."

oh my god other crazy Food Networkers like me....I am obsessed with Ina Garten, and her tiny cute hobbit husband. Also, she has the shiniest hair of all times, i am so jealous of it.
I can't watch that Giada woman.
Does anyone else find that way the Alton says 'temperature' (tempa-cheer) is like nails on a chalkboard? (also- why am i obsessed with knowing what his wife is like? he seems so non-sexual to me)
PLEASE add a Barefoot + Good Eats watch !

I would like to slap Giada every time she says "spa-ghee-tee."

A few months ago, I visited her restaurant "Lady and Sons" and I actually attempted to eat at LEAST half of what she cooked... and let me tell you, the buffet was heaven. The mashed potatoes had an ocean of sweet butter pooled in the center of the buffet tray. There was nothing healthy about the meal, save the mint leaf in the hyper-sweet tea.

Not that I'm complaining... it's just that after I ate there, I passed out a few blocks away from the restaurant.

Rachael Ray: "With tax and tip, only 73 cents!"

Yes, please!!! More Food Network shows!

Please, please please cover Sandra Lee's Waspy Bitch show and Barefoot Contessa. How about some Calorie Commando while you're at it?

But please, no Emeril, Alton Brown or Bobby Flay - they all suck ass!

I actually watched an old episode of Paula's show last night, and she was making "salad."

It consisted of a jello mold with a big hole in the middle, filled with cream cheese, whipped cream, nuts and sugar -- jiggly salad!

Who says they don't eat salad in the south?

If you wanna see real horror, watch Giada lean her huge head into the camera and grin maniacally with her London After Midnight teeth every time she says "cheese."

Post #26, I thought I was the only one grossed out by Paula's hygienic habits! On her show last week, she took a turkey out of the oven, felt it up, licked her fingers, then put the turkey back into the oven. Gross, gross, gross.

... and speaking of fag hags, did anyone see Giada's "men friends" come over for fried calamari? "One of these things is not like the others," Giada, AND IT'S YOU.

And does she laugh at EVERYTHING, whether it was intended to be funny or not? Especially when it comes from Tod or a child. I guess she likes to think her guests are witty, and acts as if they are.

I am surprised that no one has mentioned yet, as it is a sport in our house whenever Paula Deen is on: the woman uses a TON of mayo. Everything has mayo in it. I swear one show she made 4 items (one of them dessert) and everything had at least 1/2 cup of mayo. When she made hamburgers, her comment was "And of course, I just love mine with mayonaise." That was the understatement of the year.

I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEE Paula Dean---I want her to be MY mommy! ! ! ! !

By the way, The Svan---I really enjoy watching Rachel Ray. She makes things that I feel I could actually do myself. And WHAT A CUTIE! ! ! ! !

Where the heck's Gail Gant? I'm such a dessert junkie and I love her show.

Notice how the Contessa always says "use good ", which I find a little confusing. Like we all would just go to the store and demand the crappiest they've got. Michael Chiarello's lisp drives me nuts, and can we please talk about Juan Carlos Cruz and how he can take any recipe you have and turn it into something else entirely. You give him your chili recipe- then BAM (biting Emeril) you get some goulash with mushrooms and zucchini and cocoa powder that in no way resembles chili, but he 'took out the fat, and replaced it with flavor'.

My name is Bill and I am a FoodNetworkaholic... this is one of the BEST sites I have seen. You have all made comments that I can relate to... I really liked it the other day when Giada's aunt was on... and announced that Giada's food was not that good.I know that things have gotten out of hand when I watch Ina making that "special brisket" for Jeffrey the third time and still don't change the channel.

Lensmanct (#50): You forgot the "fay-too-CHEE-ni" and "ree-COAT-a."

I think the TVGasm store should sell a Paula Dean version of the game "Operation" where you can go in with little tweezers and unclog Paula's heart. Or maybe a Paula version of "Break The Camel's Back" where you pile little pieces of butter, lard, bacon, and cheese on Paula until she collapses. And of course, there should be a Giada Bobblehead.

Hasbro's gonna have my ass on a platter ...

Lady and Sons'!!! Love it - I try to go everytime I'm in Savannah. If you're willing to shell out $12 for a great all-you-can-eat southern buffet (after waiting in line for an hour or so), you'll probably love it too.

Paula Deen does use a ton of mayo. I have a recipe of hers for this chicken and rice casserole that I only make when I am feeling particularily emotionally needy as it is so fattening. Three of the ingredients are cream of celery soup, a cup of mayo and tons of cheddar cheese.

We love, love, LOVE Food Network!! Alton is very weird, but funny and has some good ideas, Racheal Ray is taking over the freakin' universe, Marc Summers makes me want to slap the crap out of him and that Jim guy on "Secret Life of..." is just way too freakin' excited about EVERYTHING! It's Pez, doofus, not rocket science!Oh, and my boyfriend IS Emeril (or thinks he is, anyway.) Anyway, Paula is a riot! Whenever we watch her, it's always, "now, add some lard and some sugar" and it's about a pound of each!! Thanks for the Food Network stuff! God, one more reason to love TVGasm!!!

Despise Rachel Ray's "spoonula" and the way she points with a sideways whipping motion, wrist exposed.

Besides counting Sandra Lee's "fantastic"s, count the number if times she says, "you put that RIIIIIIIIGHT in there..." "it'll go RIIIIIIIIGHT over here..." "I'm going to put my head RIIIIIIIIIGHT in the oven...."

Love all the Food TV chatter! Let's keep it up!

A Sandra Lee drinking game....mmmmmm...I can see it now.

drink 1 for every "fantastic."

drink for the length of every "riiiiiiiiiight"

the kicker: chug a beer for each time she talks about alcohol and her eyes sparkle maniacally.

^#68 - "head riiiiiiiight in the oven" LOLOLOL

Oh how we wish! Good one.

Barefoot rocks my world...and she's not Waspy...she's a Jew!

I wonder what it would sound like to hear Giada say "LAAAMMMBOOOORRRRRGIIINI!!!"

Has anyone seen the Sandra Lee Holiday episode where she makes Hannukah and Kwanzaa cakes? It must be seen to be believed. Co-workers and I were watching, and by the end of the episode a crowd had gathered because we were all screaming and laughing so hard.
Also, speaking of being on the DL. What about Michael Chiarrelo? I love his show but doesn't he seem well, you know... He did a romantic dinner show with his wife that I think was uncomfortable for all of us.

OK -- you have all made this my favorite blog on this site -- who knew there were so many addicts out there. Just watched Paula make rice pudding, cheesey bread, creamed tomatoes and something else with a ton of cheese, butter, cream, mayo, cream cheese (pick any three). As for her sons -- yikes. I never would have guessed they were married to women -- must have gotten them confused with those two guys who won their own show.

I will be watching for the Sandra Lee Kwanza episode... it sounds like a keeper. Did she make up special drinks for the holiday too?

One of my favotite Ina episodes was when her friends brought their two kids to visit. After a meal of some crappy chicken strips, she loaded the kids up with brownies covered with ice cream, hot fudge, M&M's, gummy bears, and there were some chocolate truffles on the side. Man, those kids must have had the most incredible sugar rush. As Ina waved good bye, she let go that nervous little laugh of hers.... must have known how impossible those little brats would be that night.

I hate it when Rachel Ray makes "stoup". You know, not not a stew and not a soup. I also find it very annoying that she is a hand talker. I bet she would start bashing her head into the wall if you tied her hands behind her back and then asked her to speak.
As for Paula Dean. Love her! Has anyone else noticed that you can always hear her chew. After every bite you can hear her teeth grinding into whatever she is eating. She also eats with her mouth full. Gross!

P.s. Does anyone else hate Bobby Flay's annoying bitch of a wife? She complain's about everything.

Good call on Michael Chiarello. He's so smug, and I hate it when he has all his smug friends over at the end of the episode for some hoity-toity gathering. Plus, that pseudo-Italian schtick he has going on makes me want to pump a couple of rounds into my TV screen.

Also, does anyone know if that god-awful low-carb show is still on? The host of that show was one ugly cuss. Just because you lost 400 pounds or whatever going low-carb doesn't mean you don't still need to get your teeth fixed, bro.

Sandra Lee - closet anorexic whose mouth waters constantly as she adds lemon extract to make things taste homemade and then takes huge bites to prove she eats. rachael ray has a nip off her flask to loosen up those limbs for full gesticulation effect. I'm convinced she's a secret binger/alcoholic - she always takes the tiniest bite of some modified low carb or low fat food on 40$aday. she was glassy-eyed and seemingly drunk on that celebrity interview show. Bobby Flay has a speech impediment and beats his wife. ina garten is miserable thats why she laughs neurotically after everything she says.

I think the low-carb show is still on. It seems like a new set or something. I can't tell if they are repeats though.

The whole low carb thing is so 2003. Yeah, the whole family lost weight and all, but their cholesterol levels must be through the roof! Has anyone seen the episode when George makes this ginormous omolette with like 2 lbs. of cheddar cheese? That just does not seem healthy. He could take a lesson or two from Calorie Commando, Juan Carlos Cruz!!!!

Bobby Flay himself is annoying. I think he thinks he's Food God.

I love 'Unwrapped' too - you guys watch that?

Oh, Giada and her damned Italian pronounciations drive me batty - but in a good way. I like her. And WHY does Ina laugh like that all the time? It's not funny, Ina. It's food. Get over it, already.

OOOH!! Chiarello once had this show where he made that shit that looks like grits - polenta, I think? - and when his buds got there, he sat them down at the table and poured the shit everywhere. Right on the table. That was profoundly disturbing to me, but I watched every second of it. I am perverse.

How about the Barefoot Contessa cracked-out-camera-angle watch? If I have to see her reflected off a toaster one more time, I'm gonna lose it! Or how about those shots where the camera angle is 2 inches away from the food? Can't tell if they're vanilla bean specks or camels on a sand dune.

I remember that episode when Chiarello poured that shit straight on the table. He thinks everything he does is so cool and unique and mind-blowingly cultured. He's a turd.

I listened to a segment on NPR a few weeks back that compared the Food Network to porn. Quite interesting.

i love the crazy Ina camera angles- its the American straight out rip-off of the best cooking-in-my-own-kitchen-isn't-my-life-amazing show ever: NIGELLA BITES. i could watch every episode 600 times...what is wrong with me?!?
naked chef too.

Another craptacular offering from the FN: "How to Boil Water." Yikes. That dude and girl who co-host it have as much on-screen raport as me and my dead grandpa. Also, do they have to tell that girl to act extra retarded, or is she really that slow?

She asks FASCINATING questions: "Now why do put the roast in the oven?" "Why do we need to cook our sauce first?" "Why do we marinate the chicken before we cook it?"

Genius.

Wow... You know what's funny? I sat on this Post for like a month - wondering if it would be well received at all. As in, "Who the hell even knows who she is?" Now I know.

And now I know I can run wild with Food Network Posts. You asked for it...

You've mentioned most of what I noticed. Some more thoughts on the shows (with more to come, from all of us, I promise):

1) I really like Tyler Florence. Even bought his book - Don't know how he puts up with Jack on "How to Boil Water." I'd kill her.
2) I dug Jamie Oliver and the random herbs he'd pluck from his neighbor's sidewalks all the time.
3) Dave Leiberman sucks. STOP BOUNCING UP AND DOWN WHEN YOU TALK! And stop trying to tell me that you can shop at Whole Foods on the cheap. You can't.
4) You just know Paula is a dirty girl.
5) I'll leave Rachel Ray alone for now - just too much to say about her. So I'll only say 2 - her shirts constantly make her flapjacks look even more flapjacky and someone should tell her that you are allowed to serve dessert in something other than martini glasses.
6) Chiarello - Totally spiked my gaydar... but apparently it's wrong sometimes. I do like his rants though. And his "Football Spethials." He'th tho tough!
7) Hate Flay.
8) Hate Emeril
9) Love Iron Chef - both versions. Hate that fat toad from guy who judges all the time.
10) Love Ming Tsai and Thirsty Traveler (Neither on Food Network).
11) What's up with Barefoot's weird sucking inhale noise that she does pre-laugh 10x per show?
12) The low carb dude is totally a child molester.
13) Sandra Lee's breasts will be at navel level in 2 years. Make a tablescape about that, biatch!

I could go on all day. But I'll spare you - plus Christ, I can't use all my material in a comment!

"make a tablescape about that, biatch!" HA!

For those of you who "enjoy" Rachel Ray:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/19/dining/19rach.html?pagewanted=all

Note the drinking game whenever she says things such as "EVOO", "stoup", "delish", "how ____ is that??!".

they can probably follow that with a drinking game to go with sandra lee...almost necessary...for everytime she says "tablescape" and "fabulous cocktail".

also for the record, i have tried only one of her recipes. it completely did not take less than 30 minutes, and she made 2 other items that episode!! she clearly is on crack.

#78---I thought Bobby Flay was married to that chick from Law & Order. Don't believe I've heard her bitch about anything. What am I missing?

Barefoot Contessa is on now!

Ina time!!

YEAH! Go on with your bad self, B-side!

Yes, please, sg, more Food Network stuff from all of you.

And Rachael Ray has the body of a teenage boy and doesn't dress to suit it. Shouldn't she have a stylist by now?

I absolutely love and adore Jamie Oliver and miss his shows. I also love Anthony Bourdain. Did anyone else watch his show A Cook's Tour when he was on Food Network? He's on the Travel Channel now with a show called No Reservations. It's really good. I think he's hilariouos.

#88 - Can't open the link without paying for the subscription. What's it say?

Sorry, I ment hilarious.

Oh, I love Anthony Bourdain. I highly recommend his book 'Kitchen Confedential'. It's excellent.

#88 - Sorry! Just needed to make a fake login. Great article. Still love her.

I'm glad someone agrees with me that Emril and Flay probably have the worst shows on Food Network, and also that Giada has a giant head! But Giada does make some amazing dishes. And also, Paula is the shit!

Goodness! My husband thinks that I am crazy because a perfect Sunday for me is sitting around and watching the food network. I also enjoy staying up late on Saturday nights to watch Iron Chef America. You know putting it down in back and white makes it seem pretty desperate.

I love paula, but it kinda bothers me that her dogs are always in the kitchen. The other day her and her sons (the ones that bat for the yankee's) were making cornish game hens and after they were done they ripped the leg off of one of those hens and all three went at it like it was a leg of lard, poor Micheal (no one has mentioned him)did not even have a chance to go at it with them.

Rachel Ray is a smidgen weird. I would like her to go into a resteraunt on $40.00 a day and order something normal like a hamburger. I am not talking like a hamburger with cracked blue cheese and salmon eggs on it, I mean a good old fashioned hamburger...you know, like we eat. Or how about a grilled cheese sandwich.

Is there a support group for us food show junkies? If there is, please let me know!

Can someone tell me what date was this episode was on? I have to look up the recipe for that hot dog! NO WAY she put lard on them.

That's what I'm talking about, Debi. Why doesn't ol' Rach ever eat normal crap that the rest of us would? I can eat FIVE meals on $40 a day, for God's sake.

No one has commented yet on the huge number of double entendres Paula does every show. While rolling out some kind of cheese balls or something "Girls, roll the balls out big. Cause I like my balls big" and then a maniacal laugh. They used to do this segment on this morning show called The Daily Buzz "Suggestive Sayings from The Food Network" and I swear to you, every time it was a clip of Paula Deen.

The Paula Deen "specials" are always the best...I have to say that her two sons looked very comfortable in the dresses they "jokingly" wore to her bridal shower.

Did anyone see "Paula goes to Hollywood"? There is one brief clip in which she has no makeup...YIKES...not a pretty sight.

TV Gasm you make me love you all over again.
You pull me in with recaps of Survivor, TAR, Apprentice, ANTM, and you seal the deal with Food Network. You complete me.

What ever happen to Jacque Torres? I used to love him and his chocolate creations.

Rachael Ray needs some new material. I like her and all but she can only toss salt over her shoulder so many times....

Barefoot Contessa's husband appears to be completely useless.

And one last thing...

Will someone please buy Rachael a good bra? Her boobs are under her armpits and the shirts she wears only makes the problem worse! But I do like her...have several of her cookbooks though it always takes me more than 30 mins.

Ok, Thank God there are others out there like me! I enjoy my weekend mornings watching the Food Network.
Paula is my hero, America is a better place with her in it.
Sandra Lee is probably a closet dominatrix.
And the Barefoot Contessa's husband is probably sleeping with his secretary in the city.

Just gotta add my 2¢

I don't mind Rachael's EVOO so much, but "sammy" really makes me want to hurl. But I do like her though.

Whatever happened to Frederich, of How to Boil Water, before Tyler took over. I prefer Tyler, but just wondering.

I think this is my sixth post today, but I just want to say how much I am enjoying this blog and it's so nice to know that so many other people watch these Food Network shows! This is great and I hope it continues!

I forgot to mention that silly guy who does Easy Entertaining. I watched an episode where he was making food for his fishing trip with his buddies and he actually took towel pured hot water over them and then wrapped them in tin foil... great idea if you are Martha Fricken Stewart! If my husband did that and took those to his fishing buddies I am pretty sure that he would not be coming home-- they would push him out of the boat....anyone agree with me?

Paula's pumpkin pie is Radikal, and it is seriously because of the half pound of cream cheese you put into it.

Giada's giant head and eyes, consistent announcements about how damn fresh everything is, and over-enunciated italian pronunciations are basically, um, unbearable.

I am totally freaky about Rachel Ray, in a way that I am obsessed with $40 a Day, and I get anxious watching her interact with people because it is Utterly Insane. However, I love her because she is totally into drinking; she reserves a portion of every show for cocktails and then says "Well I don't know about you, but I need a DRINK" and THEN does this crazy laugh. And if you read the NY Times article about her, the picture is of her drinking, and there is a section about her being totally hungover.

I know that Rachel Ray is crazy, but I cannot hate her because she is way too much of an awkward freak, and it is this that I love.

PS. Alton Brown is awesome, he makes me feel really smart, and he can smoke a salmon in a hotel parking lot with a cardboard box.

Hey--yall know Sandra Lee is going through a NASTY divorce right now--her husband is supposedly some big real estate guy out in CA and is allegedly putting together a big deal with...none other than the woman Sandra is trying to be...Martha Stewart. No joke--its all over PageSix

#89, It is the same woman and I find her to be a complainer. Not only that but she seems to be a bit bossy. She definitly wears the pants in that relationship.

Don't you love it how Ina dumps a pound of butter and a quart of cream into everything and then declares "How bad can That be"....looking at you Ina...pretty freakin' bad! Plus she's got to get over that freaky giggle and they have to move her mike -- the labored breathing is not appetizing.

I vote 1,000X for Barefoot Contessa Recap.....please please either you or B-side.

Oh my gosh, thank you for mentioning that creepy Air And Saliva Sucking In Sound that Ina Garten is constantly making. After she says (inevitably), "How bad could that be?" She sucks in saliva and air through her clenched teeth. She does it all the freaking time. It drives me nuts.

In the episode of Paula's show I saw this afternoon, she "improved" on canned cranberry jelly by making jelly sandwiches filled with a mixture of mayonaise (but of course!), cream cheese (what else!) and pecans. What a treat for one's guests! They'd spend a good deal of the meal wondering "why the HELL did she do that?"

I was driving down a street in East Hampton a couple of weeks ago....Ina's house was on the right......Jeffrey was out on the road on the left....a little walk....or was he running from "death by gorgonzola" ......WE cracked up!

For those other than the three of you who know how to spell her name correctly, it's Paula DEEN. Just wanted you to know. Since most of you seem to be fans, I thought you might take this issue as seriously as I do. It is up to us to treat her with the same Southern respect and gen-teel-ness she offers us.