I bet Giada sucks a mean strand of spaghetti.

Hahaha...nice post. I don't even watch TFN but that was hilarious. I almost spit up my naan and curry while reading it (what, you didn't think indians had turkey for Thanksgiving did you? Every day is a curry day)

I confess to not having seen Giada before, but her pictures remind me of Natalie Portman, who I find extremely irritating. Nice rack though.

For me, it's Rachel Ray. I just love that perkiness of hers. Even when I know one of her shows is a repeat, I still watch it. Giada De Laurentiis comes in a close second, but I can't stand Sandra Lee. Far too fake for me.

So completely off topic, but since I write for this site, I can do that. You know how I randomly have a TV crush on?

Kari Byron from Mythbusters. Love her and the show.

As for The Food Network, I write in vote for Ming Tsai's mom. She rules.

I've never seen his mom, but Ming has a sexy voice.

Man, you disrespected Sara Moulton again! She had to be no. 4 only behind Giada, Rachel and Sandra. The others are cows! Also, for my money I'm sure she would make the nicest mom.

Gaida(regardless of head size) is pretty, tan and has a nice rack. Sorry Sandra(runner up), but Gaida wins.

I bet Sandra behind the scenes, has a dungeon of her own.

It's Paula, hands down. Just watch her deep-throat a bacon-wrapped hotdog or fist a turkey. And she knows how to build anticipation -- did you see her sitting on Michael's lap and blowing on his food for him, and then eating it herself? It was on her Cooking School special. Plus, with all the crap she puts in her mouth, she probably "swallows."

Let's have a poll for the guys, too. I vote for Mario (who seems above reproach in all these snarky postings, and I agree), kinda a male Paula, and by far the guy I'd most like to make me dinner.

And also The Chairman of the American Iron chef. I bet he wears a thong.

Ming Tsai is smoking hot. His voice is like buttah. He maketh me swoon. Alas, he is not on TFN.

I agree on the male verison of the list. I to vote for the chairman from Iron Chef America.

And suprisingly I don't find Alton Brown all that hot. And the guy from Sugar Rush. Even the orginal Iron Chef Japan chairman with all his plastic surgery is hotter than him. :)

Lizardqueen, What channel is Ming Tsai on? We share a Freddie fetish (if in different eras), so I trust your judgment.

Basically, though, I like any guy who can cook and isn't too fussy about fat or calories.

And B-Side, do you know if The Chairman of Iron Chef America is really the nephew of Chairman Freddie Mercury of Iron Chef Japan??

P.S. Laurie: No question, Alton Brown's dick isn't even visible with a microscope.

holyterror - thanks for the Paula post, that was hilarious.

Sandra takes the cake on this poll. She has everything I need, an affinity for tasty adult beverages coupled with excellent food, a nice (spice) rack and a passion for college football.
Her only rival is the former FTV personality Padma Lakshmi. Mmmmm...Padma

Ming Tsai is on PBS. He used to do East Meets West on TFN, so he's an alumnus. Incidentally, he got a mechanical engineering degree from Yale. How hot is that? He's smooth like silk. I'm considering stalking him. I hope he's into that kind of dedication.

Giada is def the best looking, but Paula could take care of me anytime.

And sg-dub, I just started watching MythBusters this week, and there IS something about Kari's "wants to be punk and edgy with her dyed hair, plaid skirt/wife beater outfit and pigtails type stle but looks like she tries too hard and just barely can't pull it off but deep down inside you know the motivation for that is a woman who wants to be 'porn-ish' and kinky and thinks dressing like that and asking you to spank her will fulfill her ambition to be monogamously slutty" look that is kinda hot.

I'd "bust" her "myth"!

Three more reasons I vote for the Iron Chef America Chairman: 1) That serene, closed-eye routine he does during the competition that makes him look like he just shot his wad 2) How jazzed he gets over the Secret Ingredient, and 3) The way he says "succulent variations." GRRRRR!

Lizardqueen, Mario is opening a restaurant right around the corner from my house, so I may wind up stalking him by default since I don't know where to find The Chairman.

I'd offer HIM a "succulent variation"! (I have no idea what that would entail, but it sounds dirty).

Mark Dacascos, the martial artist/actor who plays the Chairman's nephew, is not really related to Kaga...but he could rip out your spleen, shabu-shabu stye. Check out Brotherhood of the Wolf to see him in ass-kicking action.

i just finished watching "Party Line With Dan and Steve". Now I'm sitting around wishing I were a gay caterer instead of a woman impersonating a drag queen. Those guys have all the fun. What I wouldn't do to have whores doover parties for my little friends all the time.

I love me some Rachel she is the best and I have totally tried her recipes and their so easy to make....Giada is right up there too when she doesn't smile like and starts looking like a Beaver :)

I agree with #12 (laurie).
Hands down, the sexiest person on the Food Network is Mark Dacascos, the chairman of Iron Chef US.

Yes, Brotherhood of the Wolf is an outrageously over-the-top, but very entertaining, French action flick.

My write in candidate = "W" the equipment specialist from Good Eats.

Giada is #1....When she "massages meat"; it makes me shudder

First of all. Ina Garten is all woman. She is so tender and juicy (just like the fryed turkey I made on Thursday). She has a phat house and you know she is the boss in that family. Poor Jeffery looks like a pussy....cat compared to her. In a few years, the only parsley he's going to be moving to start eating is the parsley in his soup. INA Marry me!

U GOT THAT RIGHT BITCHES INA IS # 1~!

Who can't love the oh so delicious Ina, from the way she samples booze to make sure its up to par and then taking extra precautions and testing it again..and again. To the way she is a most inviting hostess to the men she invites into home when dear Jeffery is away. The recipe for hapiness is clearly obvious, Ina Garten and half a pound of butter

.:Perfect summer delight:.

I just gained 20lbs. reading the menus from Paula's restaurant and loved every minute of it. Alexandra,(from Paula Coronary Watch) love your husband's idea for the "Vulgar Gourmet" show. If you drink, boy, that would be a real winner. Perhaps a Comedy Central/Food Network collaboration. It reminds me of my dear grandmother (God rest her soul). She was a hell of a cook but you knew you weren't eating until 9:30 at night. Half the prep time was spent mixing martinis, looking for the little cocktail onions, changing the channel on the TV, turning up the volume on the radio so it wouldn't have to compete with the TV, and batting her eyelashes at my VERY hungry and perturbed grandfather. Ah, those were the days.

Sandra lee, hands down. she one hot tamali, though she seems not to eat anything she makes, considering her very thin figure, but shes just plain hot. #1 on my list. i just saw a recent christmas episode with her wearing this bare shoulders HOT RED sweater, and shes just gorgeus!! so HOT!

rachel ray sucks, shes SO annoying! especially with that horrendous "EVOO" bull, its like i just want to slap her and yell SHUT UP!!! and shes not even attractive, unless yopu like that bronx accent bull, so un-civilized for TV, LOL. sandra lee is a class A BABE.