During a moment alone with Denny, Alex does his best to crush any hopes the poor man might have of surviving his operation. He says Izzie paints an optimstic picture of his prospects just because she likes him—but man to man, his odds are pretty poor. Further, he suggests that Denny pull away a bit from Izzie, since his obviously impending death will crush her and, well, she's not really one to pull away. New low! Way to use fear of death as a tool, KHRUSHCHEV.

In the ever-popular SGH quasi-outdoor cafeteria, the interns trade stories of their annoying patients over lunch. George, in a remarkable feat of will, sits down next to his stalkee, Cristina, even though she's seated next Meredith. While talking to Cristina, George inexplicably maintains a nice crosseyed, mentally-challenged look on his face, topped off by chewing with his mouth open. Though Cristina keeps moving over, George keeps following. Wow, I officially cannot stand him.

Just give Ruprecht the latte and he'll leave you alone

Cristina relates her whole saga of Burke's hat juju and how she's holding it hostage. Izzie stops by and asks whether the others believe the whole "curse of the seven deaths" thing. She tries to play down her worry about Denny, but it's unconvincing. George continues to be weird and gross during the whole scene, clearly intent on showing Meredith what she's "missing out on."

Later, as Cristina's prepping the OCD guy for surgery, he keeps asking whether the O.R. is really "cleancleanclean," since he is still really hung up on that whole sets-of-three thing. I can only imagine this guy's DVD collection. Thirty copies of Tora! Tora! Tora! Cristina judges the guy harshly, especially when he keeps turning the light switch on and off. He notices this and says that deep down he and she are cut from the same cloth—overachievers, competitive, straight A's in college, tendency toward raunch—and that's why she can't stand him. She acquiesces on the light switch but clearly wouldn't mind if this guy dieddieddied soonsoonsoon.

Izzie asks worriedly how Denny's feeling as they wheel him into the O.R., but he remains emotionally distant, apparently having taken Alex's advice. He mentions he's written a will and says Izzie has to be realistic about his chances. Despite her Christian pleas, he insists on calling her Dr. Stevens.

George, apparently now a sex offender, follows Cristina into the women's restroom. He's figured out that she probably has the cap somewhere on her person, most likely down near her MOST HOLY OF HOLIES, so he tackles her in front of the sink. Just as George has his hand all the way down Cristina's shirt and is mounting her from behind, Dr. Torres walks out of the stall and asks whether he's aware this is the ladies' room. He responds with a sheepish "yes ma'am," and she leaves. Cristina notes that, dude, he called her ma'am, there's no way she's sleeping with him now. HA George sucks.

George tries the old "O'Malley sink plow"

When Izzie learns that Cristina's holding Burke's surgical cap hostage, she freaks out because she wants Burke to have every possible juju on his side while he's prying Denny's ribcage open. So Izzie tracks down Cristina, literally pulls her aside into a room, and commands that THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS HER to give Burke the cap. Cristina thinks this is all a joke and says Burke doesn't need damn hat. After all he's Isaiah Washington. The argument escalates until Izzie resorts to physical threats, saying "I grew up in a trailer park and I am not above kicking your little pampered Beverly Hills ass... AND I DO MEAN PHYSICALLY KICKING YOUR ASS." This made me laugh out loud, HEARTILY.

So Cristina surrenders and gives the cap to Burke. But she insists he doesn't need it—the reason she kept it, after all, was to remind herself that she wants to be a competent surgeon like Burke, who doesn't need luck or juju or serendipity or MAGIC 8 BALLS to get through an operation. He admits she's right—but puts the cap back on as soon as she's gone.

Meredith is still trying to convince her stalker patient to go for the surgery. She adds that she called the patient's "boyfriend" and he said he actually hasn't been her boyfriend in a while. Ah, such tact. At the other end of the tact spectrum, Izzie asks Alex what the hell he said to Denny to make the poor guy think he's dying. Hmm, Izzie, maybe the DICK CHENEY VALUE PACK OF OPEN-HEART SURGERIES he seems to need has something to do with it. Alex says as much, which prompts Izzie to break up with him on the spot and declare that Denny, even in corpse form, is far more man than he. Burke catches the end of this spat as he walks in and says neither of them can scrub in, because whatever hocus-pocus is going on between them, he doesn't need it in their O.R. He won't even let them watch from the gallery: he wants their bad energy as far away as possible. Oh GREAT here he goes with the energy shit again.

As the surgeons start their various surgeries, they all whip out their superstitious rituals once again, with the exception of Dr. Webber. Ooh, Webber in action! Exciting exciting. Meredith interrupts Bailey to tell say that lightning stalker spleen lady has started bleeding out. But the patient STILL refuse to consent to an operation. So Meredith tells the blatant falsehood that the patient's "boyfriend" called and wants them to operate. Bailey declares a Code Blue. What's that, the code for LIES?

Posted by m_ruv on March 23, 2006 11:30 AM