Tree-climbing lightning lady needs her spleen out, because it's so badly damaged it could pass for corned beef hash. Meredith notes to Bailey that she gets the sense the woman is a bit of a stalker. Wow! Is Meredith a psychic or what?!? Meredith also asks Bailey what she thinks about this "seven fatality" voodoo, and Bailey claims to have none of it. Clearly this is all lies.

Burke, meanwhile, is doing a procedure to see how bad Denny's clot is. While this is going on, Denny tells a little anecdote about horses, which prompts Alex to chime in that he has an uncle who's a rodeo cowboy. What? SHUT UP. Anyway, Burke says Denny's clot is so big—Izzie gets real excited for a second—they can't get it with a catheter and will have to open up his chest again.

Why does this guy remind me of Cookie Monster

SGH's wacky staff psychologist/swami shows up to empathize with the OCD guy. The patient says his car accident happened because he couldn't bring himself to pull through the intersection til he'd counted 333 clicks on the turn signal. You know what I'm thinking? Natural selection. Anyway, OCD has ruined this guy's marriage and career—and his mom had it too, in fact it drove her to a little seppuku at age 38. The patient apologizes, saying he knows his habits are really annoying. Oh good, I thought it was JUST ME. Incidentally, throughout this whole episode, George is pressing his face to the window in an attempt to "intimidate" Cristina. Since when does "follow Cristina around" translate to "act all retarded and bloaty and regress into infancy"?

What's up, QUASIMODO

Webber delivers some bad news to his patient/ex-sponsor: to tide her over til a liver transplant he'll have to put in some shunt in a tough procedure that has only about a 50% survival rate. The unexpected twist? She really doesn't have any other choice. Ha ha! Never saw that one coming!

The stalker lady has heard about all the other surgical deaths and refuses to have her spleen out til the next day. Bailey cannot tolerate this shit and argues that "spleen trumps horoscope." AWESOME, medical rock-paper-scissors is back! Gout-psoriasis-irritable bowel! Pleurisy-nail fungus-cretinism! It was fun two weeks ago and IT'S FUN NOW. Anyway, the patient, convinced she'll die if the surgery goes ahead, asks Meredith to call her "boyfriend" so he can be there for the operation. Right honey, maybe with that restraining order in tow.

During a moment alone with Denny, Alex does his best to crush any hopes the poor man might have of surviving his operation. He says Izzie paints an optimstic picture of his prospects just because she likes him—but man to man, his odds are pretty poor. Further, he suggests that Denny pull away a bit from Izzie, since his obviously impending death will crush her and, well, she's not really one to pull away. New low! Way to use fear of death as a tool, KHRUSHCHEV.

In the ever-popular SGH quasi-outdoor cafeteria, the interns trade stories of their annoying patients over lunch. George, in a remarkable feat of will, sits down next to his stalkee, Cristina, even though she's seated next Meredith. While talking to Cristina, George inexplicably maintains a nice crosseyed, mentally-challenged look on his face, topped off by chewing with his mouth open. Though Cristina keeps moving over, George keeps following. Wow, I officially cannot stand him.

Just give Ruprecht the latte and he'll leave you alone

Cristina relates her whole saga of Burke's hat juju and how she's holding it hostage. Izzie stops by and asks whether the others believe the whole "curse of the seven deaths" thing. She tries to play down her worry about Denny, but it's unconvincing. George continues to be weird and gross during the whole scene, clearly intent on showing Meredith what she's "missing out on."

Later, as Cristina's prepping the OCD guy for surgery, he keeps asking whether the O.R. is really "cleancleanclean," since he is still really hung up on that whole sets-of-three thing. I can only imagine this guy's DVD collection. Thirty copies of Tora! Tora! Tora! Cristina judges the guy harshly, especially when he keeps turning the light switch on and off. He notices this and says that deep down he and she are cut from the same cloth—overachievers, competitive, straight A's in college, tendency toward raunch—and that's why she can't stand him. She acquiesces on the light switch but clearly wouldn't mind if this guy dieddieddied soonsoonsoon.

Izzie asks worriedly how Denny's feeling as they wheel him into the O.R., but he remains emotionally distant, apparently having taken Alex's advice. He mentions he's written a will and says Izzie has to be realistic about his chances. Despite her Christian pleas, he insists on calling her Dr. Stevens.

George, apparently now a sex offender, follows Cristina into the women's restroom. He's figured out that she probably has the cap somewhere on her person, most likely down near her MOST HOLY OF HOLIES, so he tackles her in front of the sink. Just as George has his hand all the way down Cristina's shirt and is mounting her from behind, Dr. Torres walks out of the stall and asks whether he's aware this is the ladies' room. He responds with a sheepish "yes ma'am," and she leaves. Cristina notes that, dude, he called her ma'am, there's no way she's sleeping with him now. HA George sucks.

George tries the old "O'Malley sink plow"

Posted by m_ruv on March 23, 2006 11:30 AM