When Izzie learns that Cristina's holding Burke's surgical cap hostage, she freaks out because she wants Burke to have every possible juju on his side while he's prying Denny's ribcage open. So Izzie tracks down Cristina, literally pulls her aside into a room, and commands that THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS HER to give Burke the cap. Cristina thinks this is all a joke and says Burke doesn't need damn hat. After all he's Isaiah Washington. The argument escalates until Izzie resorts to physical threats, saying "I grew up in a trailer park and I am not above kicking your little pampered Beverly Hills ass... AND I DO MEAN PHYSICALLY KICKING YOUR ASS." This made me laugh out loud, HEARTILY.

So Cristina surrenders and gives the cap to Burke. But she insists he doesn't need it—the reason she kept it, after all, was to remind herself that she wants to be a competent surgeon like Burke, who doesn't need luck or juju or serendipity or MAGIC 8 BALLS to get through an operation. He admits she's right—but puts the cap back on as soon as she's gone.

Meredith is still trying to convince her stalker patient to go for the surgery. She adds that she called the patient's "boyfriend" and he said he actually hasn't been her boyfriend in a while. Ah, such tact. At the other end of the tact spectrum, Izzie asks Alex what the hell he said to Denny to make the poor guy think he's dying. Hmm, Izzie, maybe the DICK CHENEY VALUE PACK OF OPEN-HEART SURGERIES he seems to need has something to do with it. Alex says as much, which prompts Izzie to break up with him on the spot and declare that Denny, even in corpse form, is far more man than he. Burke catches the end of this spat as he walks in and says neither of them can scrub in, because whatever hocus-pocus is going on between them, he doesn't need it in their O.R. He won't even let them watch from the gallery: he wants their bad energy as far away as possible. Oh GREAT here he goes with the energy shit again.

As the surgeons start their various surgeries, they all whip out their superstitious rituals once again, with the exception of Dr. Webber. Ooh, Webber in action! Exciting exciting. Meredith interrupts Bailey to tell say that lightning stalker spleen lady has started bleeding out. But the patient STILL refuse to consent to an operation. So Meredith tells the blatant falsehood that the patient's "boyfriend" called and wants them to operate. Bailey declares a Code Blue. What's that, the code for LIES?

Out by the board, Izzie waits nervously to hear some results, especially worried because a couple nurses mention that patients are dying left and right. In front of Izzie, Alex bets a nurse $20 that it's Denny who bites it. Damn, when they lay on the Alex-as-asshole stuff they really lay it on thick. We learn that the stalker girl died. Call me callous, but THANK GOD. Then Webber walks out of the O.R. with a horrified look on his face that makes us think Mary Kay Place is dead body #6. Actually, Webber announces she made it through—we learn that the OCD patient died instead. NICE.

Izzie finds out that Christmukkah is not, in fact, a real holiday

In Burke's O.R., things go poorly, as Denny's heart once again proves weak of constitution. Afterward, we see Izzie crying against a wall... because Denny is ALIVE!!! Ooh they're being tricky this week. Denny asks why she's crying. She responds she just cannot fall for a patient. Asshole coworkers, sure, but a patient just seems like a bad idea. Denny laughs and says well good luck with all that, which prompts Izzie to plant a big wet sloppy one on Denny, breathing tube and all.

Finally, a man who'll indulge her fetish for "gear"

George walks into the locker room and once again makes a show of avoiding Meredith. Bad-mood Alex can't take this anymore and says George is a sad, whiny excuse for a man. Fine, he got laid and it went badly—a real man would move on and not mope around so much. Alex can't stand it and says if it wouldn't get him thrown out of the program he'd smash George's head right into the locker. I hope you've been lifting weights Alex because that head is HUGE.

This incident apparently inspires George to grow some cojones at long last. He approaches Dr. Torres to apologize for not calling, but she gives him a taste of his own medicine and flat-out ignores him. Undeterred, he whips out his cellphone and calls her right then, from just a few feet away. When she answers, George finally comes out with the line we've all been waiting to hear: "Callie. Congratulations. You're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model." Actually, he says hi, this is George, he shoulda called sooner, sorry, cause he loves to watch her set bones and he spends only a few short minutes a day in the women's restroom and he really likes her and he'd love to have her set his own bone sometime, would she be into that? From the look on Dr. Torres's face, that's a yes.

¿Diiiiiiiga?

As everyone leaves the hospital, Burke gives his lucky surgical cap back to Cristina. She-Shepherd keeps handing out the goddamn cocoa-juju and tells Meredith she's sorry to hear about her patient. Damn she is desperate for goodwill. Meredith takes a sip but throws it out again as soon as She-Shepherd is gone.

Posted by m_ruv on March 23, 2006 11:30 AM