Shockingly, Dr. Hahn proves a sensitive and competent surgeon during Denny's transplant. Once the new heart is installed, they take Denny off bypass and try to get the new heart to beat on its own. After a couple tense minutes of flatlining and a few shocks with the mini defibrillator paddles, they finally get the new heart going. GODDAMNIT. Up in the gallery, Izzie cries tears of happiness and Xanaxness.

Once all the dust has settled and both patients are recovering, Webber tries to open his can of whoopass on the interns. But they thwart him by each claiming responsibility for cutting the LVAD wire—except for Alex of course, who says he didn't do it. Webber tries to bluff and intimidate them, but the interns know he has no proof of anything. But he yells anyway, saying they jeopardized the hospital and the transplant organization and STOLE AN ORGAN besides. So COME CLEAN, ORGAN-PILFERERS!!!

This is the point where the episode (and the series, frankly) truly goes off the deep end realitywise. As punishment, Webber says until the interns fess up, none of them can scrub in on any surgeries—instead they have to wait hand and foot on his niece, Camille, and do everything she asks. Izzie offers to turn herself in, but the interns decide to stick together—even Alex—because they don't want her kicked out of the program.

Basically, Camille wants the interns to plan a prom for her at the hospital&mash;and all the doctors and interns have to go! With dates! Dressed up all pretty! Yeah, I really wish I were joking. This prom subplot is ludicrous, but it's best just to accept it and move on—sort of like Ashlee Simpson's fame or the endless Barbra Streisand farewell tour. Because once you get used to the screenwriters wiping their ass with reality, this show is really enjoyable.

So the interns attend to Camille all mock-seriously and ask what she wants the prom to be like, all the way down to the color of the balloons. The interns are pretty hapless in this regard, since in high school they were all dorks who hated prom and promgoers—especially Meredith, who says she had angry pink hair and wore a lot of black all through high school.

Meredith: the high school years

Denny, meanwhile, is recovering awfully quickly and starts croaking sweet nothings in Izzie's ear again. But suddenly she seems nervous and distant. He catches on and asks whether she's only into men who are sick and feeble—cause with this new heart he's all virility and horseness once again. Denny guesses correctly that Izzie's freaked out because he asked her to marry him. She admits yes, she thought his proposal was just a heat-of-the-moment thing and that it would be crazy for them to marry right away. Instead they should date first and live in sin. Denny gets a little aggressive, saying he's in a decision-making mood and he's decided that Izzie's the one he wants to be with 24/7 til death or restraining order do them part. At this, Izzie edges away nervously and walks out of the room. Oops.

Webber, frustrated that the interns have clammed up about the LVAD incident, wants to meet with them individually. He also tells Bailey that EVERYBODY must go to the prom, even her. The interns continue to struggle with the planning, particularly Alex, who can't deal with all this girly shit because he's such a masculine, manly, macho man. With a penis and XY chromosomes. And big low hangers. I mean seriously, this honcho is 100 PERCENT MAN. Anyway, the interns ask Bailey for advice, and she takes control right away, ordering them to get silver, white, and black balloons because that looks "mystical and magical without being over the top." This scene is hilarious.

Speaking of giant balloons, Dr. Torres comes up and accosts George for failing to call her the previous night after she blurted out the "I love you" in the locker room. George says a lot of stuff happened last night that he's not at liberty to talk about it. Callie gets really pissed off, and George, ever a master of timing, chooses that moment to ask her to go to the prom with him. She of course says no.

Finn the vet shows up at the hospital, likewise wondering why Meredith hasn't returned his calls. She says it's a long story and changes the subject by asking him to go to prom. He says yes. Yaaaaaay! Seriously, I can't believe I'm writing about this shit—it's like I'm back on the high school yearbook staff. Anyway, Finn has stopped by because Meredith's dog has gotten much worse: it's been having seizures, and apparently the cancer has spread to its brain.

Later, He-Shepherd confronts She-Shepherd at the surgical board, but she doesn't want to talk about her earlier outburst. She says they've come far as a couple, forgiven each other for a lot of things, and they're trying. But during this scene He-Shepherd is wearing a surgical cap decorated with drawings of what looks like the Titanic. Ooh, subtle symbolism! This relationship is going DOWN. So rather than talk he just asks She-Shepherd if she'll go to the prom with him. Cute, but way to NOT CONFRONT THE PROBLEM.

Aye aye, captain! Full speed ahead for DIVORCE COURT!!

Burke, meanwhile, is recovering in one of the hospital rooms. He keeps looking at his hand and trying to hold it still, but the hand starts shuddering like Margot Kidder after a few days up at Betty Ford. Cristina observes this though the window freaks out. Burke looks up at her meaningfully, but she doesn't go in to talk to him.

Posted by m_ruv on May 21, 2006 11:34 PM