Cristina, it seems, now handles literally all of Burke's affairs. She's running around like a little fascist, dominating the surgical board, scheduling procedures, and demanding residents bring her coffee, all to the other interns' disbelief. Meredith defends her, saying that she's just helping out Burke. But when Cristina picks up the marker and starts writing on the surgical board herself, they realize she really is taking control like goddamn Nancy Pelosi. Alex jokes that if sleeping with Burke gives Cristina this kind of authority, maybe he should try sleeping with Burke too. Ooh! Maybe you could do a threeway with Ted Haggard!

"I'm important!"

In the locker room, Cristina remains distant from the other interns and even more uptight than usual. She declines a happy hour invitation because she has to study for Burke's upcoming surgeries. Actually, she probably just realized at last that the interns go to THE SAME FUCKING BAR EVERY TIME. In the hall, George approaches Callie and pleads with her to talk to him. She bellows briefly and then thunders off.

At the rustic mountain trailer, Dr. Shepherd steps out of the shower to discover that some woman named Nancy has barged in unannounced. This scares the crap out of him, and just as he's recovering, The Pomp comes in as well. Apparently women just don't knock anymore. Anyway, Meredith is hurt, oh so hurt, etc., and leaves before Shepherd has time to explain. "That bitch Nancy" finds this amusing and guesses correctly that Meredith is "the slutty intern" she's heard about. Who is this Nancy and why does she suck so much?

"I'm naked!"

In the elevator at SGH, Izzie babbles endlessly that she's feeling so great about her first day back at work. Great. Great! SHUT UP. After she leaves to talk to HR, George and Meredith stop the elevator and play some bizarre confessional role-playing game in which George impersonates Cristina and Meredith impersonates Izzie. It's annoying as shit. Especially when George thinks it's McFunny to McImpersonate McCristina by McInserting McMc in McFront of every McGoddamn word he says. See! NOT FUNNY. Anyway, they whine mutually about romance and vow never to date again. No great loss to society there.

Dr. Burke meets his first patient for the day—a guy with a heart tumor who's been told he needs a "cardiac autotransplantation." Cristina, practically sweating glee out of her pores, explains helpfully that this so-called "Humpty Dumpty surgery" involves removing the guy's heart, cutting it open, scraping out the tumor, then stitching up the heart and putting it back in again. Burke remains cautious, as the surgery is "risky"—wow, I never would've guessed—but Cristina keeps interrupting, saying the guy is a perfect candidate. In fact, she's already scheduled the surgery for this afternoon! Okay, this ambitious-Cristina thing is starting to turn her into a bit of a caricature. DIAL IT DOWN A NOTCH PLEASE.

Over in Webber's office, the chief informs Bailey that Izzie's being placed back under her authority. Bailey would rather see Izzie assigned to a different resident, but Webber stands firm, saying that some people have concerns about Bailey's judgment post-Denny. Bailey is stunned by this revelation—admittedly, it's shocking, given that there wasn't a GIANT FULL-AUDITORIUM MEETING ABOUT DENNY last week or anything—but Webber says Bailey will never put those concerns to rest unless she takes responsibility for Izzie.

A young pregnant woman arrives in an ambulance, but Dr. Montgomery is baffled because the woman's not due for a few weeks and nothing looks emergency-worthy. BUT OH HO HO. Turns out the woman has two uteruses. Whaddya think of that, MICHELLE MALKIN?!??

Bailey finally meets with a very nervous Izzie. Izzie understands that she has to undergo counseling, extra volunteer work, forcible straightjacketing, and so on, but she's just thankful to be back. Bailey, though, has some extra rules. Izzie can only observe: she doesn't get to speak to patients, be alone with patients, perform procedures, go near the O.R., or even play with her hand puppets without hospital committee approval. So has have to shadow a different doctor every day til she re-earns trust. Her first shadowee? THE POMP.

Right afterward, Meredith and Izzie literally run into Dr. Shepherd. The aforementioned "Nancy" is there too, and she's completely snotty and horrible. So it's not much surprise that she turns out to be SHEPHERD'S SISTER. Anyway Sister-Shepherd makes some condescending comments about Meredith and Addison, prompting Izzie to note that "McDreamy's sister is McBitchy." Haha!! I just LOVE that McHumor.

"I'm awful!"

Burke is royally pissed at Cristina for accepting this Humpty-Dumpty surgery, since the surgery would be impossibly risky in light of his gimpy hand. He asks Cristina whether she's "up on the Humpty"—bravo, screenwriters—but she claims she's done all her research. At this point, Bailey comes up and asks Burke whether it's true that other doctors are questioning her judgment. He says people just like scandal and gossip, but his response is distant and distracted and not very comforting.

Posted by m_ruv on November 10, 2006 5:28 PM