Meredith's first patient is a young woman—seemingly the lovechild of Meredith Vieira and Punky Brewster—who burnt her hand while studying for the bar exam. But this girl is nervous and overexplaining the injury, which sets off Izzie's crazybitchdar. Sister-Shepherd, meanwhile, tells Shepherd she came to Seattle as an intervention, cause one of their other sisters heard about the incident of Meredith's panties up on the bulletin board. He's not in the mood to fill her in on his scandals and suggests she go back to the East Coast to tend to her OB-GYN patients. Great, so his ex-wife and sister are vag-lovers. Vaginas for everybody!

Speaking of, George LOVES the two-uterus patient. Her fiancé tells some anecdote about how the first time he saw this girl he "knew she was ham." You know, cause when you have a plate of ham and eggs, the chicken merely contributed some embryos, whereas the pig's OWN FLESH is right there on the plate—i.e., the pig decided to COMMIT. Great story! Oh hey, here's another great story: Isaiah Washington walks into a bar with Barney Frank and George Allen...

"We're waspy!"

Dr. Sloan gives Alex a bunch of menial tasks, like changing his license at the DMV and restocking his cuticle cream. Vajayjayjayjay girl's fiancé, meanwhile, is calming her kicking unborn baby by recounting Washington Redskins glory tales. Yep, that Jack Kent Cooke humor never fails to amuse. Observing this, Alex says that indeed he read a couple articles about how voice patterns can calm a baby.

In our domestic-drama twist of the evening, Dr. Montgomery discovers that double-uterus-girl's babies were conceived six weeks apart. Apparently the couple broke up when the fiancé said he wanted to get married, so the girl went and dropped her drawers for some other guy. Oops! She apologizes profusely, but the fiancé, upset that his girl may in fact not be the finest quality ham, walks out.

"I'm acting!"

Out in the hall, Dr. Webber is trying and failing to sew a button onto his last clean shirt. He asks Bailey and Montgomery to do it for him since, you know, they have vaginas. Bailey is offended, saying she has SURGICAL skills and NO OTHER SKILLS WHATSOEVER.

Dr. Sloan examines bar-exam-girl's hand, and her burn is way deeper than it should be for a mere accident. When Sloan says they'll have her fixed up in time to take her exam, the girl freaks out. Izzie notices this—one would hope so, since the girl is an even more obvious liar than Dick Cheney—but Meredith, off in selfabsorptionland, doesn't notice a thing. When Izzie mentions what she saw, Meredith knocks her down and says Izzie's job is just to observe, not talk. But Izzie persists, reminding Meredith that their patient's health is at risk. Meredith replies kindly that it's HER patient, not their patient. I can't believe Izzie doesn't smack the bitch.

When Bailey passes by the surgery board and sees that Burke has a Humpty-Dumpty procedure scheduled, she quickly writes her name in as the resident on the surgery because she's never seen that procedure firsthand. Cristina basically shits her pants, since the last thing she and Burke need in the O.R. is Bailey watching them like a hawk. George, meanwhile, tries to talk to Callie again by way of the failsafe ham/chicken anecdote. This fails to impress our favorite busty chicana, who thinks George is calling her a pig. She walks away.

"I'm smoldering!"

Over lunchtime, the interns hide in a patient's room—some old guy who just sleeps all the time and allows them peace and quiet. Cristina, studying intently, gets pissed anytime Izzie or anyone else tries to strike up conversation. She gets exasperated, leaves the room, and then runs into the Humpty-Dumpty patient's wife, which stresses her out even more. In a panic, she runs over to the surgical board and erases Bailey's name from it. OOH.

Uterus² girl, meanwhile, starts hyperventilating. (Seriously, it's hard to get through a day on Grey's Anatomy without some good hyperventilation.) She's freaking out about her fiancé's departure and is overacting mightily. At this point I realize she looks suspiciously like Ruthie from Real World: Hawaii. Cheers!

At lunch, Sister-Shepherd gives Shepherd a hard time about Meredith. He gets defensive, saying Meredith is wonderful and smart and, best of all, has curves like a racetrack. Sister-Shepherd exhorts him to forgive Sloan: the man is just a cad, and practically every woman she knows has slept with him, UP TO AND INCLUDING BARBARA MIKULSKI.

Meredith asks Cristina if she's mad at her or something, since she's been such a clammed-up bitch recently. Cristina says she has bigger things in her life right now and storms off yet again. At this point, Bailey walks by the surgical board and sees that her name has been erased. Of course she thinks that Burke did it because of doubts about her judgment post-Denny. This hits her very hard.

Doublemint uterus girl's fiancé approaches George, who informs him that they're about to deliver one of her babies by C-section. Of course the first thing the guy asks is whether the baby being deilvered is his legitimate child or his fiancée's ILLEGITIMATE BASTARD CHILD. George rolls his eyes and exhorts the guy to be ham. Not eggs! This ham/eggs thing really is retarded. Dr. Seuss covered it fifty years ago. It's done.

Dr. Sloan catches Alex doing research on uterus.com, prompting all sorts of mockery about how Alex claims to want a career in plastic surgery but instead is an OB-GYN at heart. Alex says he's sick of doing menial tasks for Sloan, but Sloan basically admits that Alex needs to kiss up if he wants any career favors. Boooooo Sloan!

Posted by m_ruv on November 10, 2006 5:28 PM