At this point, some poor nurse delivers what must be the worst-delivered line ever in this series, telling some other nurse named Tyler that "Addison Montgomery needs two units of B-postive blood in L&D. Stat!" I wish I had a video clip, but if you still have this episode on TiVo, go back and savor it. Great screenwriting and great delivery are a powerful combination indeed.

Meredith assures bar-exam-burn-girl that she won't need skin grafts and can thus take her exam. The young woman asks how severe the burns would need to be in order to qualify for skin grafts. Meredith finally notices that this girl is probably, like, PRESIDENT OF HER LOCAL SELF-MUTILATION CLUB, and asks some more probing questions about how the girl burned herself in the first place. Finally unable to resist, Izzie butts in and asks point-blank whether the girl burned her hand on purpose. She says it's okay if she did—after all, all of us get JUST A LITTLE CRAZY from time to time—and the girl finally fesses up. She just can't face the prospect of failing the exam for a fifth time.

We then move to the inevitable scene in which two dramatic surgeries are going on at the same time and we cut back and forth between them. Dr. Montgomery commands George to keep the baby in one uterus perfectly steady, because any motion while she's removing the other baby could tear the uterine wall. We see that Alex has ditched Sloan and scrubbed in on the C-section, since he's evidently dying to get his hands all up in some double-barreled uterus.

In the other O.R., Dr. Burke and Cristina have Humpty-Dumpty's heart out of his chest. The procedure goes well: Cristina clearly has done her homework, as she's performing magnificently and basically running the whole surgery herself. Burke is impressed but does look a little annoyed also, since his ego is bigger than Dennis Hastert's waistline these days.

Back in Dr. Montgomery's O.R., George's baby starts moving around, and he can't keep it still. Clearly wishing to calm the situation, Sister-Shepherd (who as an OB-GYN herself is watching the surgeryl) starts SHRIEKING about how OH MY GOD GEORGE IS SENDING THE BABY INTO DISTRESS. The situation threatens to turn into a crisis until Alex runs over and starts playing sports announcer and recounting in his best radio voice the story of George Foreman and Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight from 1974. So hetero. Anyway, Alex's voice calms the baby (just like he read in his article!), and the baby stops moving, enabling Dr. Montgomery to continue with the C-section.

In his office, Dr. Webber has resorted to using his suturing tools to sew on his button but still can't manage it. Shepherd, impossibly rugged and masculine yet still sensitive and domestic, puts Webber out of his misery and sews the button on. These two old seamstresses then lament the sad states of their respective marriages. Shepherd whines that he has four sisters and no brothers, and that until all the adulterous fucking, his friend Sloan was the only brother he ever knew. Speaking of, Sloan kindly informs Alex that when he decided to scrub in on the uterus/uterus surgery, he essentially forfeited his career in plastics. Schwing!

Bailey confronts Burke and asks why he erased her name from the surgical board, saying she didn't realize he was one of the doctors who had doubts about her abilities. Cristina overhears all this with horror. Though Burke initially denies losing faith in Bailey, he ultimately covers for Cristina and admits that he erased Bailey's name because he just couldn't use her in that procedure. Oof. Bailey says she understands but is hugely wounded.

In the lounge, Sister-Shepherd tells Shepherd that the double uterus surgery was ever so fun: "Two uteruses, so unbelievably cool, and a cute baby to boot!" An annoying line, so annoyingly delivered, and by a brittle, snobby bitch to boot! She assures Shepherd she's leaving Seattle that day and exhorts him to take time off from dating—apparently he hasn't been single in years, which means he could benefit from some space so he can figure out what he wants. Though he resents her advice, Shepherd thanks her for coming out to visit.

Meredith and Izzie, meanwhile, drag the crazy burn victim up to the psych ward for observation. Though the girl initially panics and tries to leave, Izzie calms her with some "treats" from her pill bottle and convinces her that she's not crazy, she just needs help. In a tender moment, Izzie clasps the girl's hand, and we realize that Izie has GIANT MAN HANDS.

"I'm damaged!"

Coming out of the fog of anesthesia, Our Lady of the Two Uteri asks repeatedly what happened, whether her baby's okay, and where her fiancé is. It gets annoying as shit until finally on the third time around the fiancé shows up and asks how BOTH their babies are. So apparently he's up for adopting the poor bastard child. How generous!

Sloan approaches Callie and says she looks like she could use some cheering up—and he'd be happy to offer his firm, tumescent cheering-up services anytime. She retorts that their wild monkey sex wasn't cheerful—it was dirty. But OOH, we see that Alex overhears this conversation, so now he knows Callie's been sleeping around. OOH.

Posted by m_ruv on November 10, 2006 5:28 PM