TVgasm - Hell's Kitchen: Gordon Ramsay Hot Dog Scandal!

Last night's episode of Hell's Kitchen featured a little field trip to Pink's, a Los Angeles hot dog stand/institution that's been around for sixty-six years. As part of this jaunt, the wannabe chefs got to sample the "Gordon Ramsay Dog," which featured sauerkraut and spicy hot mustard on a frankfurter. Well, given that Pink's is just a mile away from the TVgasm offices, we decided to make a late night trip to the famed eatery in order to sample this Gordon Ramsay Dog. The results might shock you.

So here's Pink's on Hell's Kitchen

And here is the famed Gordon Ramsay Dog. You can't see it from this picture, but one of the ingredients is hot spicy mustard. Remember that.

This is a re-creation of J-Unit and me seeing Pink's on Hell's Kitchen.

**Now we're realizing that we have to try the Gordon Ramsay Dog.**

Great thinking, us!
And yes, I always cock my head to the right when I slap five.

And we're off to Pink's!

We arrive at 11:15 PM. Excitement is in the air (and smog too, but that's just L.A.).

As usual, there's a huge line. Perhaps other TV fans eager to sample the Gordon Ramsay Dog?

Around this time, we suspect that something is amiss. Lining the plexiglass case are placards of all sorts of specialty dogs. We do not see one for the Gordon Ramsay Dog. We can't be sure, but we think that if it were anywhere, it would be in this wide-open space in front of the onion rings.

If it's any consolation, there is a Today Show hot dog, and it's been nicely updated to include Meredith Vieira. But whither the Early Show Dog? Is there no frankfurter ode to Julie Chen?

This is where things get dicey. We place our order for two Gordon Ramsay Dogs and are met with blank stares by the staff. The guy behind the counter ushers us around the corner to speak with the manager, who seems completely confused by the entire situation. We try to explain the Gordon Ramsay Dog, saying how it was just on national television -- on Fox no less! J-Unit tries to intimidate the manager into embracing this fact by insisting, "It was watched by 25 million people!!!" (Probably closer to 9 million, but still, an impressive number). The manager again tells us that he has no idea what we're talking about, and if there was a Gordon Ramsay Dog, he surely would know about it. Furthermore, there would be a whole fancy placard that would be up front. "But there was one!" we insist.

Remember? We're not crazy!

I then warn the manager that lots of people will be asking about the Gordon Ramsay Dog; so he better be prepared. The manager replies that no one has actually asked for it -- we're the first ones (but certainly not the last, I'm sure). He then asks what exactly is on this alleged Gordon Ramsay Dog, and we tell him sauerkraut and spicy hot mustard. Well, get this: The guy looks at us and says, "We don't even have spicy hot mustard." Pretend like you just heard a record screech to a stop. It was like we'd just swallowed the red pill and had discovered The Matrix. There is no spicy hot mustard??? It's all becoming too clear. What do the Gordon Ramsay Dog, the Easter Bunny, and unicorns have in common? THEY DON'T EXIST!! Ladies and gentlemen, despite what you saw on Hell's Kitchen, there is no Gordon Ramsay Dog!

Nevertheless, we promise the manager that we will return the next night with visual proof that Pink's did hawk a Gordon Ramsay Dog on TV. I swear, we are going to get to the bottom of this. In the meantime, we trekked all this way, we might as well get some hot dogs. In true TVgasm spirit, I order a Martha Stewart dog, and J-Unit orders a Rosie O'Donnell dog. We can only imagine what's in store for our arteries.

Rosie on left, Martha on the right.

**We take a seat strategically next to this wall, which features signed photos from Martha Stewart, Celine Dion, and the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Wonderful.**

I stare at this picture and laugh. Think about it: imagine Celine Dion wandering into Pink's and stuffing her face with a chili dog. Zut alors, René!

I wonder if Martha realizes her dog is a 10 inch weiner topped with relish, onions, tomatoes, three strips of bacon, sauerkraut, and, oh yeah, SOUR CREAM. I will probably die of a heart attack tonight. I can think of only one person who would embrace this...

**Also staring down at us while we eat: Pat O'Brien and the ladies of The View. I fear that Star Jones will somehow eat my hot dog through the photo.**

Did I mention that this damn Martha Stewart Hot Dog is HUGE?

And in an ironic turn of events, the Rosie dog is quite slim.

My Martha Stewart Dog has officially fallen apart. Note my immense dejection. This would never have happened with a Gordon Ramsay Dog.

I'm a total mess. Too... much... Martha dog... My feelings at this moment would probably best be described via an image from Grey's Anatomy.

No, not quite that.

Yes. Perfect.

J-Unit is able to successfully eat all of his Rosie O'Donnell Dog. And so concludes our night at Pink's. This may be the end for these hot dogs, but our quest for the Gordon Ramsay Dog continues. We'll provide updates as necessary...

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Posted by B-side on June 27, 2006 1:31 AM

Comments

You had your own Pink's Kitchen Nightmares! Where's Ramsey to set that kitchen straight?

Posted by: j.packhouse | June 27, 2006 3:19 AM(#1 of 49)

I must say, the story is much more compelling without the pixels that usually accompany your faces! The drama! The emotion! The Martha and the Rosie!

The manager at Pink's is a DONKEY! Get me some ICE and some SPICY MUSTARD!

Posted by: Lauren | June 27, 2006 4:35 AM(#2 of 49)

Don't give up, you'll find it some day. Loved the pictures!

Posted by: sarah | June 27, 2006 5:27 AM(#3 of 49)

If we want to get the Gordon Ramsay dog on the Pink's menu, we need to start an e-mail campaign.

Send those missives to letters@pinkshollywood.com and make your voice heard.

Together, we can raise enough hell to make this happen!!! Who's with me?

Posted by: WhosYourPapi | June 27, 2006 5:55 AM(#4 of 49)

The first post without blurred faces. TO quote Obi Wan, "you've taken you're first step into a larger world."

But you didn't use a picture of Paula eating her special Puala lard hot dog? For shame.

This is the first and last time I'll ever say this but after looking at the pictures, I don't care how greasy my fingers get I totally want to eat Rosie O'Donnel.

If my hot dog fell apart like that I would call the chef a plank in front of everyone.

Posted by: EdHill | June 27, 2006 6:18 AM(#5 of 49)

Why don't they have spicy hot mustard? It tastes great on a hot dog!

Posted by: BigMax | June 27, 2006 6:30 AM(#6 of 49)

Don't piss in my ear and tell me there is no Gordon Ramsay Dog

/CappyVoice

Posted by: Firecat | June 27, 2006 6:50 AM(#7 of 49)

Darn, why didn't I visit Pink's when I was in LA? Oh well, at least I got to hit In & Out Burger several times. they don't have them in Minnesota.

Posted by: BigTeebo | June 27, 2006 6:54 AM(#8 of 49)

Great pics! Now I'm hungry though...

Do you think that the big prison bitches could have tortured Martha by stuffing her face with her own hot dog? That is just too much gross stuff on a dog. Yuck!

Posted by: zoobabe | June 27, 2006 7:17 AM(#9 of 49)

And yes, I always cock my head to the right when I slap five.

Hmm, it appears you both were cocking your heads to the right...

I'm kinda scared to know what a Pat Obrien and Star Jones 'dog would be like...

Posted by: Ubiquitous | June 27, 2006 7:17 AM(#10 of 49)

So you are saying that there is no Easter Bunny?
(quivering lower lip)

Posted by: HoneyBunny | June 27, 2006 7:18 AM(#11 of 49)

Wait a minute. Something on a reality show wasn't real? It was staged? And, more specifically, something on a FOX reality show was fake? GASP!

Posted by: AbbyAnn | June 27, 2006 7:30 AM(#12 of 49)

Wow, that is bunk! What kind of respectable hot dog joint doesn't have spicy hot mustard on hand anyhow? Hell, the street vendors have it here and their businesses tuck into a 3x5 foot cart!

Posted by: Samboomba | June 27, 2006 8:04 AM(#13 of 49)

donkey is the new plank.

Posted by: copygodd | June 27, 2006 9:09 AM(#14 of 49)

Samboomba, good point. Teh place has tons of sour cream and bacon for you're hot dog, but not mustard?

Thats f-ed up. I prefer mine Grays Papaya style. 2 dogs with msutard and a papaya drink. 3 bucks.

Posted by: EdHill | June 27, 2006 9:10 AM(#15 of 49)

They sell hot dogs and don't have spicy mustard?

Heathens.

Posted by: jeff | June 27, 2006 9:26 AM(#16 of 49)

I would like to try a hot dog with guacamole on it, but if I said that out loud here in Texas- I think it would lead to sex with a Mexican guy.

Posted by: zoobabe | June 27, 2006 9:44 AM(#17 of 49)

As suspected B-Side is a hottie.
I SO have a hot dog joke here, but I can't quite bring myself to type it.

Posted by: Pamsey | June 27, 2006 9:46 AM(#18 of 49)

What! No Gordon Ramsay hot dog with fluffy risotto on top! That's bloody criminal!

Posted by: Foxbase Alpha | June 27, 2006 9:50 AM(#19 of 49)

Damn B-side — You're hot

So you can write, make a girl laugh so hard coffee comes out her nose, and are easy on the eye? You may very well be the perfect man.

Posted by: honeybee | June 27, 2006 10:10 AM(#20 of 49)

honeybee-I second that! Now if we find out he also does dishes...whoa.

Posted by: tvaholic | June 27, 2006 10:14 AM(#21 of 49)

B-Side, J-Unit, I'm shocked neither one of you slammed on the countertop and yelled, "WE'VE HAD ENOUGH! SHUT IT DOWN!"

Or, why didn't you look at the manager with sad G-Ram eyes and ask, "You've stopped caring, haven't you?"

Thanks for investigating the Ramsay Dog Controversy. High five!

Posted by: spatula | June 27, 2006 10:31 AM(#22 of 49)

While watching “Hell’s Kitchen” on TiVo last night my stomach leapt for joy when I saw Pink’s – one of my all-time favorite LA hangs. Since I didn’t have dinner that night, I seriously entertained the thought of jumping out of bed to run over to Pink’s to try the new culinary creation on their extensive menu – the Gordon Ramsey weiner! What a heartbreak to find out that it was just some cruddy reality show ruse! If I had known that the ‘Gasm boys were out on La Brea arguing with management for the rights of hot dog lovers everywhere, I definitely would have joined the good fight!

The Rosie O’Donnell and Martha Stewartdogs? Oh boys…you should have gotten my favorite – The Lord of the Rings dog. A foot-long dog with BBQ sauce and onion rings. Wash that down with a Dr. Brown cream soda and you’ve just had the best late night meal in Los Angeles.

Damn, makes me want a hot dog real bad…

Posted by: Redhead | June 27, 2006 10:36 AM(#23 of 49)

come on Pamsey- type it! Everyone else did...

Posted by: zoobabe | June 27, 2006 10:44 AM(#24 of 49)

Holy crap, B-side. I had no idea how hot you were. That is all.

Posted by: Risotta | June 27, 2006 12:05 PM(#25 of 49)

I call Shenanigans on Pinks! WhosYourPapi, I sent my missive.
Personally ladies, I like J-Unit. He looks like a big cuddly teddy bear and I like to cuddle!

Posted by: zevonia | June 27, 2006 12:22 PM(#26 of 49)

I hear you Zenovia. J-Unit looks quite loveable too.

B-Side, J-Unit, I think you've made everyone's day — nay, week — by revealing your sweet selves to the world. Now hopefully you won't get TOO popular with the ladies. We still need you at home watching TV for us (want some company?)

Posted by: honeybee | June 27, 2006 12:35 PM(#27 of 49)

Mmmmm Grey's Papaya.....damn you EdHill!

Posted by: laughterkey | June 27, 2006 12:43 PM(#28 of 49)

zevonia (#26) I just shot off an email to Pinks calling shenanigans.
Thanks for the address, WYPapi (#4)

Posted by: Donna Martin Graduates! | June 27, 2006 1:16 PM(#29 of 49)

Pinks. Sucks. Ass.

Gray's Papaya all the way! The only way to eat a hot is Ramsay-style, with spicy mustard and sauerkraut.

And did anyone hear Pervy Virginia saying "you taste good" to Ramsay while eating his (aprocyphal) hot dog? She is creepy- I think if she gets kicked off, she's commence stalking.

Posted by: kepster | June 27, 2006 1:17 PM(#30 of 49)

LoL, you guys are so cute. Love the reaction reenactment pictures. :) I want a hot dog now.

Posted by: stacyrocks | June 27, 2006 3:18 PM(#31 of 49)

Oh how I love you guys. B-Side, your dejected, overstuffed look makes me want to give you a big hug and an alka-seltzer. That place really is sort of lovably disgusting. And I wish you had surreptitiously Grey's off that Celine & Martha wall. They need an upgrade, pronto. (AS IF Ellen Pompeo would ingest anything from Pink's!)

Posted by: tvtvtv | June 27, 2006 3:27 PM(#32 of 49)

(*sigh* I meant MOVED Grey's off the wall.)

Posted by: tvtvtv | June 27, 2006 3:29 PM(#33 of 49)

I guess it's up to me to make the B-Side hot dog joke.

Wait, let me think of something involving mayonnaise...

Okay, got it.

I bet the B-Side hot dog is 5 feet long and slathered in handcranked mayo.

Terrible.

Posted by: brendahamLincoln | June 27, 2006 4:30 PM(#34 of 49)

B-Side is a Hotty!!

Damn, never cover your face again!

Posted by: Cary | June 27, 2006 10:48 PM(#35 of 49)

Well, I hate mustard anyways.

Posted by: jenny10girl | June 28, 2006 4:21 AM(#36 of 49)

Yeah, it was something along that same line brendahamLincoln,
I wonder what would taste good on B-Side's hot dog or something like that.....
(blushing)

Posted by: Pamsey | June 28, 2006 6:01 AM(#37 of 49)

The ladies need to calm down over B-side's good looks and sense of humor. He probably only likes women with gi-normouse funbags a-la Virginia/Veronica anyway.

Those funbags will likely turn into enormous saggers in a few years anyhow.

Posted by: jelodi97 | June 28, 2006 7:09 AM(#38 of 49)

heehee, bet you guys didn't think you'd get hit on right left and center because of hot dogs!! and now i really want a hot dog. ha, um, well, the food; the other would have to wait till the work day ends.....

Posted by: tigereye | June 28, 2006 7:24 AM(#39 of 49)

jelodi97 (#38), I for one, have bodacious tatas, real ones. And I'm not looking to marry B-Side, just commenting.

Posted by: Pamsey | June 28, 2006 9:05 AM(#40 of 49)

I second the B-Side love in the comments sections...

Although, Pamsey, my tatas and I would marry B-Side :)

Posted by: juxtapoeser | June 28, 2006 9:40 AM(#41 of 49)

Wow. thanks guys for all the compliments. I'm very flattered. But they still don't fill the void left in my life by the lack of a Gordon Ramsay Dog.

Posted by: B-Side | June 28, 2006 9:44 AM(#42 of 49)

Tooooo funny!!! Sorry @ the dog. Hey, Glyn...is that you in line? Nothing more disappointing then not having the promoted weiner.

Posted by: claker11 | June 28, 2006 9:53 AM(#43 of 49)

I'm so upset with myself right now. Where I live there are no hot dog places like Pink's or Gray's Papaya, but not too long ago I was in Vegas & could have got a Pink's. (In the Aladdin) I passed, and now I really want one. And of course now I really want a Ramsey dog, but that just won't happen either, will it? Man, so many frustrations and no way to release them!!

Posted by: tvaholic | June 28, 2006 10:03 AM(#44 of 49)

Geesh B-Side , you've left yourself wide open to a "fill my void" joke

Posted by: Pamsey | June 28, 2006 12:20 PM(#45 of 49)

Once again, it's been left up to me.

I'll make the fill my void joke, and it will be so blatantly obvious. It will reek of laziness.

B-Side can fill MY void.

Terrible.

Posted by: brendahamLincoln | June 28, 2006 4:30 PM(#46 of 49)

WHAT?????
No Gordon Ramsay Dog?

I can't believe that you didn't yell at them:

"YOU F*&@#NG DONKEYS!!!"

Posted by: ObstinantGirl | June 29, 2006 2:01 PM(#47 of 49)

^ roflmao!

Posted by: Donna Martin Graduates! | July 1, 2006 9:28 AM(#48 of 49)

Wow, that was like watching some epic journey of knights in search of the grail. The RamsayDog Quest. And to get to the end of your quest to find out it never existed. The horror!

But, am I the only one missing the pixils? It's like seeing KISS without their makeup, well except you guys aren't hideously ugly. I like that B-Side wore his TVgasm.com shirt! Where was your shirt J-Unit?

Posted by: TinkerbellAPixie | July 2, 2006 11:29 AM(#49 of 49)

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