In Alfredo’s apartment, Cameron is pretending to be nonchalant as she interrogates Cameron about House. She’s like a preschooler with the questions. She asks why Cuddy hasn’t fired House, she asks if Cuddy hates House, she asks if they knew each other in college. “Yeah, I knew him. He was already a legend,” replies Cuddy. “So, you just knew him as a legend,” says Cameron. “My god, you’re subtle!” barks Cuddy. All is right with the world. I love Cuddy again.

Over at Cuddy’s house, House is being gross and going through her underwear drawer. He also stares so lustfully at her bed that I’m surprised he doesn’t just start jerking it right there. Hm. They should definitely have sex. You know that if House and Cuddy do get around to it, it’s going to be shot tastefully and be all meaningful and spiritually fulfilling. But I think it should be graphic and degrading. It would be truer to the characters.

Back to the hospital and Alfredo’s treatment, which is turning out to be the most boring part of this episode. Though Alfredo’s 12-year-old brother does call Cuddy a bitch, which is mildly cool. Later, Stacy interrupts House right in the middle of General Hospital, so she checks to make sure it’s on commercial before she talks to him. See? There’s familiarity, and the writers aren’t forgetting about it. I love it. However, Sela Ward’s waxer needs to lay off the caffeine – those eyebrows probably need to register as weapons.

Back in Alfredo’s room, Cameron is doodling around with various tubes and needles. Poor Alfredo has to translate everything for his mom and Cameron. Wouldn’t a hospital have a translator on staff? It seems really insensitive of everyone to make the dying guy translate medical terms.

After discussing the case some more with everyone, House goes into Alfredo’s room, where he and his brother are talking in Spanish. So are we not supposed to be able to understand this conversation? It becomes a plot point later that House secretly knows Spanish, which makes me think that we’re meant to be surprised to learn that the little brother is taking some of Alfredo’s shifts somewhere. But don’t most people have a passing understanding of Spanish? Anyway, in any language, Alfredo’s hand has gone seriously nasty. I do believe that’s gangrene. Mmmm, moldy.

House wants to amputate the hand, which is not going over well with Cuddy. She figures that without his hand, Alfredo won’t be able to work. “Can’t work as a cripple?” asks House sarcastically. Oh, snap. Maestro, cue the Piano of Sorrow and Recrimination.

Cuddy explains to Alfredo why he needs to have his hand amputated even though it won’t cure him. He agrees to it, and his mom sings a lullaby which for some reason, and I still can’t figure out why, annoys the living crap out of me. But it’s over soon enough, as Foreman barges into House’s office to yell at him for prescribing a different drug to his patient. The man had come back after deciding against Foreman’s recommended drug, and House prescribed him one that wasn’t specifically for black people. Except House did prescribe that drug, he just told the patient it was a different drug. This pisses off Foreman, who finds it condescendingly racist. And, curtain. That’s it? That’s Foreman’s whole racism subplot? Are we supposed to think that House has really learned his lesson this time? That was a waste of time. I actually think they should devote more time to this in another episode, because I think they could do it intelligently, but this subplot was silly.

Oh man, it’s gross amputation surgery time. Every episode is nastier than the last – can you imagine what’s going to happen during March sweeps? Maybe a Special Live Event with the doctors reattaching someone’s intestines to their kidneys. Or maybe the separation of conjoined twins? Seriously, this is getting out of hand. Hey Oh! See what I did there? Cuz they’re amputating a HAND…sorry, I’m just trying to avoid what happening on screen. The doctors cut away Alfredo’s skin and muscle, then saw through the bones. I’ll be needing a second Puke Bucket.

As Stacy and Cuddy watch the surgery from the balcony, Cuddy gives us a brief biography. She finished med school at age 25, and was second in her class; she became Chief Resident when she was 32, which made her the second youngest ever and the first woman. She feels like those accomplishments are worthless, though, because she wasn’t able to figure out what was wrong with Alfredo. She feels bad now, but when Chase comes in and reports that Alfredo’s other hand is purple, Cuddy looks about ready to throw herself off a cliff.

Everyone gathers in Cuddy’s office to develop some new theories about Alfredo. House decides that Alfredo has an infection on his heart that is breaking off into his bloodstream. We get to see a graphic of this that is surprisingly pretty. Does Pixar do the graphics on this show? This looks like Finding Nemo.

House thinks Alfredo got this infection from handling live poultry. It’s not bird flu, but the dusty nasties that birds can get. House goes momentarily insane and tries to give Alfredo a shot of adrenaline to get him out of recovery quicker. It’s weird, but luckily Cuddy intervenes, and House decides to just ask Alfredo’s mom where he works in the evenings. See, House speaks Spanish now, and heard the little brother tell Alfredo he’d take his shift tonight.

Posted by Kat on September 28, 2005 2:40 PM