Clancy Gets An Anal Probe - 
by copygodd
Turns out the kid has a twin. Inside him. Like Thad Beaumont in The Dark Half. Only less homicidal. The condition is called chimerism. And of course, House has already figured out a way to treat it. Basically, it involves tricking part of Clancy's brain into thinking he's being abducted, and then cutting out that part. "You're talking about brain surgery," his mom says. "No, I'm talking about really cool brain surgery," House corrects her. The downside is, one of their sons will die. The upside? The taller one won't be so annoying anymore.
Brain salad surgery.
House is right: as far as brain surgery goes, this is really cool. At one point, however, things start to go badly and Chase tells House to stop, but House won't, since, in his mind, riding the short bus is better than not breathing. Which just shows that House has never actually ridden the short bus. Even at full power, though, House is still unable to induce a hallucination, so he does what every doctor would do under the circumstances: he gets in the kid's face and starts telling him the aliens are coming. That finally frightens Clancy enough that they know what part of his brain to cut out. Yay scaring kids!
Boo!
Later, House confronts Wilson about how he and Cuddy lied to him. Wilson says they were worried that if they told House he'd solved a case based on absolutely no medical proof, he'd think he was God. And Wilson, friend that he is, was worried House's wings would melt. "God doesn't limp," House says as he limps out of Wilson's office. Finally, during the obligatory musical montage, House gets his cane out of the closet and walks down the hall. Which can only mean one thing. I'm just not sure what.
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Comments
I loved Foreman's "maybe you lost time" comment.
Is it me, or is Cameron even more useless this season?
Excellent recap.
Posted by: brilliantmistake
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September 13, 2006 3:44 PM(#1 of 18)
I keep singing, "Clancy gets an anal probe, doo dah, doo dah..."
Posted by: Helenann
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September 13, 2006 3:55 PM(#2 of 18)
Loved the recap and the ELP reference.
I was worried that the kinder, gentler House, (you know the one that actually touches and talks to patients) would be here to stay.
Personally, I was glad to see ol' Vicodin poppin', cane usin' House return. House needs misery like the rest of us need oxygen.
Posted by: msCCRN
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September 13, 2006 4:08 PM(#3 of 18)
I must have been living under a rock, I had no idea until today you were recapping House! This makes me smile, House is one of my favourite shows these days and your reviews are the reason I come to this site.
I agree with msCORN, I was dreading a kinder happier House, leave the man the way he is.
It's going to be an even better season of an already great show thanks to your recaps.
Posted by: WebKittyn
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September 13, 2006 4:27 PM(#4 of 18)
Ugh. My first comment and I spell someone's name wrong. Sorry to msCCRN. I've got Fall on the brain, I read CORN.
I just turned my father onto this place, does that make up for my oops?
Posted by: WebKittyn
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September 13, 2006 4:29 PM(#5 of 18)
Ah, we pegged chimerism at about the 25-minute mark around our place -- it's nice to know that EVERYONE (including writers) watches the Discovery Gross-Out Network (also known as Discovery Health on pretty much any Monday night) -- they did programs on chimerism earlier this year. So we knew what was coming.
That, and both of us channeling Eric Cartman: "Oww, my aaaaattth!" at the beginning. I love this show, and I love this site.
(Rubbing hands gleefully, waiting for PR tonight, have already heard the soundbite of of Tim Gunn going "Oh, Jesus" on the commercial, and we're both beside ourselves with anticipation...)
Posted by: killbondnow
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September 13, 2006 5:16 PM(#6 of 18)
Did anyone catch Cameron's "cunning plan" comment to Wilson and yummy Cuddy? I love the Black Adder references that they throw in there once in a while.
Posted by: grandemocha
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September 13, 2006 6:30 PM(#7 of 18)
Loved the review! There were some great moments in this episode. So does anyone think Cuddy is going to have House's kid?
Oh and what is up with this
"Obviously, House is forgetting about the Joozians, producers of the hit intergalactic reality show, Earth." Why is everyone always blaming the Jooz?
-Fitz
Posted by: Fitz
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September 14, 2006 8:04 AM(#8 of 18)
"Scott Baio gave me pink eye" may just replace my standard "My cat's breath smells like cat food" as my favorite random sentence.
I am also a happy rider of the "Welcome Back, Pain" bus. His pain is crucial to House being House.
Posted by: HicksPub
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September 14, 2006 10:21 AM(#9 of 18)
Is it just me or was that like, the most boring episode of House ever? Eh, maybe it's just me.
I've just about had it with Wilson this season. Not only is he super annoying but he's barely even a real character anymore. He basically just exists to explain House's current psychological state to the audience. C'mon writers! You're better than that!
I like Chase more and more all the time. At least he's funny and a recognizably human character who seems to be more than just a vessel for a particular rhetorical point.
Yeah, I'm grumpy. What of it?
Posted by: Mulv
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September 14, 2006 10:39 AM(#10 of 18)
Oh yeah, good recap Copygodd. The anal bleeding storyline was like a gift, wasn't it?
Posted by: Mulv
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September 14, 2006 10:41 AM(#11 of 18)
Great recap! I, too, like the tortured House. I love all your "crossover" references to other shows.
Speaking of South Park (killbondnow #6), wasn't there an episode about an underdeveloped fetus stuck to the forehead of the school nurse. I know it's not the same as chimera but that's what I thought of when House came up with the diagnosis. Plus I thought chimera was a clay chiminey thing for the patio.
Keep up the good work copygodd!
Posted by: TaxGirl
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September 14, 2006 7:03 PM(#12 of 18)
I second WebKittyn's sentiments, I'm glad copygodd is recapping House too. Kat is probably a decent person in real life but her recapping skills were hit-or-miss, mostly miss.
I thought this was one of the better episodes, but then I'm a sci-fi fan. I'm glad that they followed up on a patient's progress for once, especially since it could impact House. And I'm also glad House called Wilson out on his ass-hattedness. Except for Cameron's simpering uselessness, this is shaping up to be a great season.
Posted by: Aries
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September 14, 2006 9:22 PM(#13 of 18)
Great stuff, copygodd. But two scary medical pictures in one recap was hard to take (okay, so I'm a wuss, so what?). Loved all the South Park references.
Posted by: zevonia
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September 14, 2006 10:47 PM(#14 of 18)
Oh and as a side note, the thigh bone isn't actually connected to the arm bone. At least not in any species that I know.
Posted by: zevonia
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September 15, 2006 12:32 AM(#15 of 18)
I loved the fact that you...."smelled what the Rock was cookin".....
Great recap....maybe Cuddy's baby is an alien.
Posted by: chooch850
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September 15, 2006 9:04 AM(#16 of 18)
Cameron may be more useless, but her bangs are hot. She's cuter than ever. And copygood is raising the bar every week. Nice work. Excellent work. Anyone else think cuddy stole some of house's sperm when she was operating on him after the shooting? I sure hope so.
Posted by: davidgrote
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September 15, 2006 11:35 AM(#17 of 18)
Not one of my favorite episodes, mostly because it is horribly innacurrate. Having two sets of DNA does not cause any symptoms like this boy was having. At the most it could cause blotchy skin due to differences in melanin production, and if the two embryos were different genders then it would cause hermaphroditism.
Posted by: abaumga2
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September 15, 2006 12:38 PM(#18 of 18)