Paris Hilton and Her Nice Long Hummer - 
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In the end, Team Park beat Team Madison by about $2800 which caused JW and Brenden to break out in an odd hokey pokey dance celebration followed by an odder jazz hands finger sparkle high five thing. Juxtaposing their joy was the defeat written all over Team Madison's faces. The reward for Madison was a catered picnic at the beach with some chef named Clown Man. Just thought I'd mention that and if any of you Long Islanders can explain that one, it would be much appreciated. Like The Apprentice of late, I must say the rewards on "Hilton" certainly do suck. But at least no one on Park would be sent home - the same couldn't be said for Team Madison.
Jackaaaaaargh
At "The Residence," Kathy Hilton gathered with Team Madison and began the Boardroom deliberations. After some perfunctory misdirection (Jabe priced too high, Jackaay's extra 'a' got in the way of things, Ann needs to be taken to a mental hospital ASAP), Johnny, Yvette, and Latricia battled it out. Kathy again challenged Yvette on her overt sexuality. Kathy, dear, you seem very sweet and lovely but YOU ARE PARIS HILTON'S MOTHER! How can you tell someone else's daughter to "be careful about the sexuality?" Kathy then shifted to ask Johnny some hard-hitting questions: "Why did you quit the auctioneer job?" Before he could answer, Yvette interjected his answer for him. Then Latricia gave her version. Um, Johnny? He did stick up for himself and gave some lame excuse. Although from Queens, he sounds uncannily like Boston Rob with that slurring monotone. These three engaged in a sort of reality TV Mexican standoff as Yvette said Latricia was the weakest link, Johnny called out Yvette (*Gasp!* The very girl he made out with!) and Latricia named Johnny. How would Kathy make her decision?!
Somehow she did and emerged with her list of those who would continue. As she announced the names, each person gave Kathy a double cheek air kiss. Ann's missed by a good two feet and Jabe's looked as comfortable as, well, a Texas lunk airkissing a socialite billionaire on national TV. It all came down to Yvette and Johnny, with Yvette squeaking by as the one to remain. Upon telling Johnny that he has "a casual way with the ladies," Johnny replied to Kathy, "thank you." And I think he really meant that too. As Yvette joined the others who greeted her with a golf clap, Kathy bid Johnny adieu in a very nice, very matronly way. She needs a lesson in reality TV venom, that's for sure.
Was it obvious they kept Latricia, Yvette, and Ann for manufactured tension, or was Johnny the right one to go home?
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Comments
Yvette may be the most annoying person on tv...oh wait, that honor goes to Richard from B&G, but she is definitely a close second. I can only hope that she will not be on the list next week.
Posted by: mountain girl | June 29, 2005 8:31 PM(#1 of 16)
If they don't teach the contestants how to make a good sex tape and leak it on the internet, I'm calling bullshit on the show.
Posted by: Jon | June 29, 2005 9:02 PM(#2 of 16)
Latricia, give it up. No, really. Give it up, seriously. No sympathy if there was no wardrobe from you.
Yvette in Union Jack outfit. Mmmm. Sure, she's a gold-digger, but still.
I'm still upset that Chris got knocked off at HK, while Jessica still stands. I just don't understand that.
And in other upsetting reality news, it will be an interesting final battle between Richard and Chuck. A more interseting battle compared to say, Richard vs. having to sit still and not say anything for 2 minutes.
Posted by: British | June 30, 2005 7:08 AM(#3 of 16)
A Beauty & The Geek (which I haven't caught yet) spoiler on a Wanna Be a Hilton recap? Curses. Ah well, now I don't have to watch it, I guess.
Posted by: TexasK | June 30, 2005 10:44 AM(#4 of 16)
I think Yvette's accent is fake as well as her boobs. I wanted her to get thrown off. Paris Hilton looked like her usual slutty self. Money can never buy class! I agree...everytime I see her, I think of her various acts on nightcam..and the full length show..she's just as boring in bed as she is in person. Trash!
Posted by: katieshole | June 30, 2005 1:36 PM(#5 of 16)
I thought the prize was a picnic with the Clam Man. Aren't the Hamptons known for clams? Just watch out for the Crab Lady. ba dum pum.
Posted by: Alibaba | June 30, 2005 2:02 PM(#6 of 16)
in absolutely NO WAY of defending the annoying bimbo that is Yvette - her profile says she's from England.
Anyway, I really wish she and Ann would go.
Personally, I don't have anything against Latricia. I mean, I would feel quite awkward myself if I were in her shoes. I mean, I thought about her as soon as they said for the girls to put on Nikki and Paris's clothes - I mean, come on, I've seen Paris in person (unfortunately) she's definitely lacking in the flesh area (read: sin and bones)!!!
And I'm SO with you on Kathy's comment to Yvette about being careful w/her sexuality...I literally laughed out loud. I mean, really, how does she say that with a straight face?!?
Posted by: Christy | June 30, 2005 4:55 PM(#7 of 16)
Sorry about the spolier. The show sucks anyway. :)
Posted by: British | June 30, 2005 6:29 PM(#8 of 16)
Jackaay, was on ElimiDATE as well as this show, she was called the date from hell, in 2003, its all over the net. who would put her on there. Jackaay is her stage name, Jaclyn is her real.
Posted by: Tim | June 30, 2005 6:47 PM(#9 of 16)
At first was I was all WTF?!? on a beauty pageant winner being on the show, since they are taught all this shit about eating with the right forks and whatever, but after seeing Ann twice, I can see why she needs to be taught things. She has absolutely no sense of appropriateness or any impulse control
Perhaps she was 5th runner-up and took the rest of the girls ahead of her out one by one until she was left with the crown? Hmm....
Posted by: zatanna | July 1, 2005 12:04 AM(#10 of 16)
So I take it people that we think are ordinary people are basically hopping from reality show to reality show? This will be good for the fansites.
Or this will just spawn yet another reality show "FIrst Timers". The show would be about people who honestly don't have a headshot/resume/agent and have never been in any other reality show.
Posted by: British | July 1, 2005 8:32 AM(#11 of 16)
Christy - Thank you for the clarification. For some reason I thought that Yvette was from Ireland, not England. In light of my error, I would like to apologize to the entire country of Ireland, all people of Irish descent, all people who have ever been to Ireland, all green things, beer, and Leprechauns everywhere.
Posted by: sg-dub | July 1, 2005 8:55 AM(#12 of 16)
I've never seen this show, don't think I can, I'm way too Hilton'ed out. I stopped watching Surreal Life after season one because I just found Paris way too self-centered and idiotic to tolerate watching.
I'm blown away by your recap though sb-dub. Kathy Hilton actually had the gall to lecture someone about being too sexual???!!!
Hello Kathy, YOUR DAUGHTER IS THE MOST INFAMOUS PORN STAR IN AMERICA.
That woman seriously needs to get a grip on reality and give that lecture to her slutty daughter whose setting a hideous example for little girls all over America. What a hypocrite, teach your own daughters not to be sluts before you start lecturing random people on that.
Posted by: Your daughter's a whore!!!! | July 1, 2005 9:22 AM(#13 of 16)
Woops, did I say Surreal Life?
I actually like Surreal Life, I meant to say Simple Life. Duh!
Posted by: Your daughter's a whore!!!! | July 1, 2005 9:24 AM(#14 of 16)
CHRISTY, what do you mean?
(I'm kidding, couldn't resist after reading your comment. :-)
Posted by: Gini | July 1, 2005 9:53 AM(#15 of 16)
David Lee Roth should shtoink Paris Hilton and film it, It'd probably bring back Roth's career from the doldrums, and it'd also probably be the best fuck that Paris Hilton would have had in her short sex life. The skank wouldn't know what hit her.
PS i'd still fuck her brains out
Posted by: Weeksy | July 1, 2005 12:24 PM(#16 of 16)