Previous page |  1  |  2  |  3  Next Page... ( Comments )

The main problem with this team was two-fold. First, they are not that intelligent. Yvette really does think she is better than everybody else after all of her vast knowledge gained as a show girl, and Ann thinks that having been in a pageant somehow makes her the one to beat in this competition. Unfortunately, people listen to them mainly because they won't stop talking, not for any insights. The other problem with these two is that they act like this show is a showcase for their talents, and don't always think about the team first in every decision. Ann is constantly breaking out into song, like she is practicing for Oliver Twist or something. As for Yvette, besides taking every opportunity to showcase her body, which is admittedly the best on her team, she acts as if her showgirl experience is the equivalent of some prestigious dance training and that everybody is interested in how good she is. Poor Jackaay was limited to simply keeping up with the other two.

Yvette's selfish nature showed up in the first challenge she attempted, which just so happened to be the one where the participant had to learn some ballet moves and perform them for the judge to receive their clue. When anybody came to a challenge involving their clue, they sort of learned the basics and then moved on. For example, when learning how to play chopsticks, nobody waited around to learn Chopin. While reading Poe, nobody decided to pick up the Telltale Heart after they were done with the Raven. Yvette, however, decided that she was going to show off her ballet talent like it was an audition for Swan Lake. She did her own thing, and the only time she listened to the instructor was when she was asked if she wanted to wear a pink tutu to go along with the leotard she had on. Yvette accepted, of course, and finally decided to perform the required steps, perhaps realizing that she was, you know, BEING TIMED.

If there is one thing that Yvette is good at, it's messing up. She even managed to screw up Latricia and Jabe in absentia. One of the clues was in French, and with her translating skills, she had deciphered it to be near the areas that Jabe and Latricia were assigned to. Unfortunately, when Latricia and Jabe got to where the French clue was supposed to be, there were no French speaking people, just a hospital. When Jabe tried to relay the news back to the other team, Yvette immediately blamed him for taking the French clue, saying she knew what to do with it. It all made sense if Yvette actually spoke some sort of functional French and/or hadn't been the one to give them incorrect directions in the first place.

As you might imagine, the last thing Latricia needed was a long walk in the wrong direction. Although Jabe pointed out that she never complained even while he saw her struggle with all the walking, he readily admitted she was sort of slowing him down, and it's not like they needed any more distractions either. For instance, they were able to figure out that ivories meant piano, but when Latricia heard some piano on the street, she decided to investigate. It turns out some Amish people had a piano in the back of their RV. Problems with this included a) the people she saw were some lubavitches, trying to get their prostelization on and b) the piano they had playing had nothing to do with their clue.

Even with all of the shenanigans they had to endure, Jabe and Latricia managed to get back on time, as did all of Team Park. They decided it was better to be on time than to risk a loss by not finding enough items. Therefore, they were waiting while Jabe and Latricia returned. The whole thing would come down to whether Ann, Yvette, and Jackaay would be able to get back in time. In other words, Park's chances of winning were somewhere between 99 and 100%, or roughly equal to the chance that Tom Cruise would freak out on television sometime within the next week.

Yvette, Ann, and Jackaay were not just a few minutes late, but over twenty minutes late, meaning the game was not close. Jackaay, who reminds me of the love child of John Gulager and Victoria Jackson, was upset because she had tried to remind Ann and Yvette about the tie-breaker, but neither would listen. Yvette, on the other hand, was more than happy with the outcome, because she had her purple tutu, which she believed made her look like Carrie Bradshaw in the opening credits of Sex and the City. Even when Kathy Hilton was about to lay the smack down, she insisted on doing dance. But at least she asked, because Ann would have just done her stage opera again.

For their efforts, which translates to "You don't suck as much as Madison," Park won a dinner at an exclusive restaurant as well as tickets to see "Wicked," which at the time of this show's taping was the reigning winner for best in its category, a lot more than we can say for Madison. Madison, obviously, was forced to head to "The Residence" (Elimination Time!!) and see if they were on the list.

Previous page |  1  |  2  |  3  Next Page... ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums

Posted by J-Unit on July 6, 2005 1:37 AM