Why it's none other than Flava Flav, aka "Mr. Foofy Foo," from Public Enemy's album "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back." Flav is a mad genius.

Checking in with the teams, it appears the Brenden/Vanessa conflict over at Park had not subsided, despite the fact their team is thus far undefeated. These two really dislike each other, blaming the other for--their uninterrupted winning streak? Of course, as bad as that situation was, the mood over at Team Madison was far worse. Down to three survivors and never having won a thing, Latricia, Jackaay, and Jabe were commiserating about their failures. Jabe did mention how they could take heart in the fact that they were the "most sane" people on Madison. While true, is that really any consolation when you're the "most sane" LOSERS? I think not.

The teams gathered with Kathy Hilton at Chanterelle for a luncheon. Apparently rich people don't eat "lunch," they have "luncheons." (Actually, I just looked up the definitions and there actually is a difference and Kathy is right. She was having a luncheon. Damn my public school education!) Kathy was joined by her friend Frederique Van Der Wal and two people from the fashion industry. Frederique, yet another reality veteran (Celebrity Mole) had absolutely nothing to say. It appeared she was just there for the free lunch. Poor, poor washed-up supermodel. Mrs. Hilton addressed the troops and explained this week's challenge. It was going to be fashion related, which drew groans from some of the remaining hickish guys as well as yelps of joy from some of the women. Such as Niki, the Paris Hilton wannabe, who loves fashion so much she claimed that she'd "rather buy shoes than eat." At that point, the illegal immigrant dishwasher spit in her Florida Frogs' Legs Sauté with Garlic Lasagna and Parsley Coulis appetizer. (Found here.) Mmmmmm, Florida frogs' legs - so much better than those from Louisiana.

After dining and goofing around with some outfits, Kathy got serious and evened up the teams. Team Madison would be able to pick one from Park, and Park would be able to send over one of their choosing. The Park camp was divided between Brenden and Vanessa, ultimately giving up Vanessa to switch teams. The deciding vote for Vanessa was cast by...Vanessa. Who would purposely choose to switch over to a team that has yet to win anything? Odd, just odd. Team Madison agreed to steal Rashad; so now it was 5 against 5 and it was time to learn the details of the challenge. They would be creating their own personal style - and then judged on their modeling, presentation, attitude, style, etc. One outfit was to be "eveningwear" bought from a secondhand shop. The other outfit was the contestants' chance to show their own clothes off in a creative and imaginative way. Yes, folks, we have officially run out of reality show challenge ideas.

The teams gathered and discussed their ideas for their respective fashion shows. Team Park was struggling, but with Niki guiding them, I had confidence in them. She, like, y'know, knew that like, Dolce and Gabbana, like, did the androgyny thing, like y'know, like 3 times already. Over at Madison, Vanessa was already pissing people off. Her strong personality and bossy behavior hadn't abated. Sizing up Jackaay, Vanessa noted, "You need some work." I thought she'd go on to tell her that she needs an umlaut or accent grave over one of the a's in her name, but no, she was referring to her style sense. The platform flip-flops and 13 year old Little Leaguer look wasn't working out. With regards to Latricia, the poor soul who had difficulty finding clothes to fit her in a previous challenge, Vanessa remarked, "I hope we're not judged on body size." Ouch. After not being able to come up with any ideas for Latricia's NFL lineman physique, Vanessa openly pondered, "If I could use the curtains for you, I would." Snap! I eagerly awaited the now cliché "angry black woman diatribe" but none was forthcoming. So I'll make it up. "Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, you better shut your little white bitch mouth or I'll take one of my giant titties and slap you upside your ugly skinny-ass head, youknowwhatI'msayin, bitch?" That would have been sweet.

Posted by on July 14, 2005 7:32 PM