Newsgasm: Bitch Ain't My Baby Edition - 
by m_ruv
- Countering all the celebrity mother news of late, Janet Jackson denies reports that she has a secret 18-year-old love child. In a statement, she said, "I do not have a child and all allegations saying so are false. I already have enough on my mind, what with my bodyfat reaching a worrisome 0.2% and a bitch of a rash from my titanium nipple clamp. Please leave me be." [CNN]
- Infinity Broadcasting announced today that its replacements for Howard Stern will be Adam "Even I Don't Understand My Appeal" Carolla and, yes, David Lee Roth. Apparently Peabo Bryson and Udo Kier were unavailable. [E! online]
- WNBA star Cheryl Swoopes has announced that she dabbles, shall we say, in the sapphic arts. It might hurt Swoopes's sponsorship deals, but at least Queen Latifah FINALLY has a date to the Oscars. [Sports Illustrated]
- And ushering in a new, geriatric era of corporate whoring, the Rolling Stones are releasing an album of rare tracks via a partnership with Starbucks. Apparently cocaine is just a gateway drug on the path to caffeine addiction. [Reuters]
Comments
Congratulations Cheryl Swoopes!
Waiting on you Mike Piazza...be a man and step to the plate!
Posted by: America's Next Top Fan | October 26, 2005 2:27 PM(#1 of 4)
Sheryl Swoopes is gay? I'd venture that she has a Y chromosome.
Posted by: Liz | October 26, 2005 2:29 PM(#2 of 4)
I understand that it doesn't fit with the theme of the day but no mention of the new Muppets "reality" show? It doesn't get much better than that!
Posted by: mountain girl | October 26, 2005 2:50 PM(#3 of 4)
Peabo? Udo.
Udo? Peabo.
Posted by: adam strange | October 27, 2005 7:33 AM(#4 of 4)