Growing up In America, I’ve always thought Big and had Great Expectations for What Dreams May Come.  I wasn’t like Ordinary People.  I played with The Dreamers. Often with my Head in the Clouds I knew that Somewhere in Time my Magic would Rain Mankind with The Gift of Happy Endings. Don’t get me wrong, I was also The Good Girl who sought out Higher Learning and The Graduate of NYU; With Honors I might add.  But after having well over Thirteen years of School Ties, I was Ready to Rumble, let Footloose, and Face Off my Proof of Life.

     I felt Forever Young in my Prime to be living as a Single White Female in the Lovely and Amazing Silver City of Manhattan.  I started applying to Vanity Fair and all The Incredibles in the fashion world.  I was Clueless as to which Sliding Doors would open my Training Day as a Working Girl first.  But I figured I’d let the Laws of Attraction do their thing.  Bring it On for I was ready to Walk the Line to become a Woman on Top. 

     Apparently I opened The Door in the Floor because to my surprise all this Good Will Hunting for Career Opportunities was having Failure to Launch.  I was Dazed and Confused as to how My Life without Me made such an abrupt U-Turn into Rush Hour Traffic.  Having The Bachelor degree was supposed to be The Sure Thing.  I was always The Shining Rock Star Driven to be the Best in Show; now I felt like a Ghost Trapped in some Mysterious Skin.  Did I have a Bad Education or was I just a Girl, Interrupted by the whole Adaptation process to the real world? Is this As Good as it Gets? Oh, God The Others weren’t kidding when they said Reality Bites!

     As the soil became Rocky, I tried to Be Cool; thinking this would will all Blow over; and continued Keeping the Faith.  Except it didn’t and I was now The Constant Gardner of Broken Flowers.  The Domino effect of Falling Down made it Mission Impossible to Bounce back from my Brokedown Palace.  As The Hours by passed ever so slowly, My Life became a bit Clockwork Orange.  I was working as a Cocktail waitress Seven shifts a week, using each Paycheck to pay Rent. I was walking Sideways about my days. While most of my nights were spent Home Alone, in a Cocoon trying to figure out why I was so Lost in Translation.  I had Enough. I could no longer keep up with the Hustle and Flow of a Sin City; nor could I Die Another Day with all this Intolerable Cruelty.  Something’s Gotta Give.  My Basic Instinct was telling me that by staying in NY, I was only Flirting with Disaster.  I never had Cruel Intentions. So why did I feel as if I was being Cast Away from The Island?  Was I Psycho or just One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?

     My Circle of Friends would Say Anything to convince me otherwise. But, most of the time I felt like the Elephant in a Panic Room listening to them have 13 Conversations about One Thing; themselves in an Office Space.  I wasn’t about to be The Interpreter of their Disclosure for Anger Management.  I was also Out of Sight to Finding Neverland.  Anyways, Look Who’s Talking.  I just was always the Believer that you should Love Actually That Thing You Do.  Some would ask, What’s Love Got to Do with It?  I guess I’d rather be Down With Love than Swept Away by some Monster’s Inc. doing Monkey Business Just Cause it paid well.    

       So I did The Next Best Thing or what was A Lot like Love to me.  I saw Woody Allen’s new film, Match Point.  I was Moonstruck by the movie’s theme.  From Dusk till Dawn my words had The Butterfly Effect in the Notebook I ever so Cherish.  As I was writing some Poetic Justice I realized that I was being Unfaithful and living some True Lies of my own.  I could no longer appreciate all these Dirty Pretty Things.  I was heavily relying on the Safety of Objects for my Happiness as did most Gangs of New York.  And after all nothing is For Keeps.   

     The Sirens, and White Noise were Screaming at me.  I figured it was A Time to Kill the Mask I’d been wearing to my Bourne Identity.  Usually I needed Up Close and Personal Proof to partake in such Risky Business, but ironically I was the One with Eyes Wide Shut to all the Signs the Forces of Nature were giving me.  Hello Serendipity. It was a Miracle my Crash turned into an Intersection.  This was The Great Escape to bring me Closer to Wonderland.  I knew it would be A Very Long Engagement From Here to Eternity, but I wasn’t Far From Heaven.

     Hocus Pocus I was ready to Focus my newly Untamed Heart.  I let go of Fear and began to Splash the Sea Inside.  No Sense and Sensibility could explain my Fatal Attraction to films.  I had a Crazy/Beautiful idea that I should be In Good Company of those who Made them.  Even if it meant moving All the Way to Kalifornia. I had been In and Out of the idea Millions of times before.  The Producers out there were said to be in A League of Their Own.  What’s the Worst that Could Happen? It’s a Wonderful Life and after all it was the City of Angels.  The Day after Tomorrow I gave my 2 Weeks Notice, and I was soon to be Gone With the Wind to create my own West Side Story.

     The Birds flying across a Rising Sun in the Vanilla Sky overlooking the Beach; I was starting to see through a Secret Window. Yes! The Sixth Sense of mine allowed me to Go Back to the Future to enliven What Lies Beneath. 

     I have a Golden Eye that films Paradise Beyond the Sea.  I have a soul of a Hero Die Hard to Stand and Deliver creative vision.  I have A Beautiful Mind just Waiting to Exhale Some Kind of Wonderful film Phenomenon.  With all the Awakenings of my Braveheart, now is my time to Pay it Forward to the world.  Will I let that fact that Me and You and Everyone We Know wants to be a part of the film industry be In Harms Way?  Not a Chance.  I’m part of a new Fight Club now, one that involves Playing by Heart. 

   
P.S.  I know this may be over 1000 words, but 208 of them are movies.

Posted by B-side on March 31, 2006 6:16 PM