Upfrontsgasm: The CW - 
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By Umnata
Last week in New York City, Madison Avenue was overcome with swag-aholic advertisers to whom the networks unveiled their fall schedules, otherwise known as the "upfronts." It’s during this week that we find out which of our favorite shows are getting renewed (yay! Veronca Mars and The Loop), which ones are getting the boot (I’ll never let go, Everwood. I’ll never let go), and which we’re soon to obsess over (potential so far: Heroes, Vanished, Ugly Betty). So without further ado here’s what went down last week in New York, starting with The CW.
Dawn Ostroff is a genius. And a monster. The President of the Network formed by the merging of fledgling mini-nets The WB and UPN has taken the best of both those networks and has left us with a strong 2006 schedule that looks more like a hit factory than the nonsense that either network had this year - when you’re building shows around Rebecca Romijn-Stamos-O’Connell & Shannon Elizabeth, you might be in trouble. Some of the favorites picked up here have been picked up with a contingency plan: Veronica Mars, 7th Heaven and One Tree Hill have all been given 22 episode orders (standard) with a clause that allows the CW to let them go if they don’t perform up to par. So watch Veronica Mars this season, or the show will be cancelled, and it will be YOUR fault. Canned shows include: Everwood, What I Like About You, Related, Pepper Dennis, Cuts and Eve. Also of note, to someone I’m sure, is that Reba was picked up at the last minute as a mid-season replacement, apparently because the CW would’ve been fined millions of dollars for canceling the show due to its contract stipulations.
Sunday:
In a move that I’m surprised hasn’t caused even the slightest uproar, most of the African-American Themed shows from the CW have been cancelled, while the remaining 3 have been relegated to Sunday nights. I’m psyched that Everybody Hates Chris has been moved to 7:00 pm because now I’m guaranteed that I’ll be able to check it out, as I’ve heard the show based on Chris Rock’s childhood is hysterical. You know, like Chris Rock used to be? Next up is All of Us and Girlfriends, which I never watched in the 239819283 seasons they’ve been on, and don’t think I’ll be checking them out as they will be up against The Simpsons. 9:30 premieres the new show, The Game, which is about the wives/girlfriends of a bunch of football players. The trailers for it actually look kind of funny.
Monday:
Dawn Ostroff made the decision to bring back 7th Heaven, even though they’ve been promoting the Final Goodbye for months and even drugged and propped up Barry Watson and Jessica Biel to come back for the finale (How pisst are they right now?). It’s been confirmed by Ostroff that in order for 7th Heaven to live, Everwood had to die an untimely death. Which is the sole reason for the monster comment up above. As a matter of fact, when the CW initially launched it’s website, Everwood was included on it. Then the SERIES finale saw seven million viewers say goodbye to the twin-sprouting Camden clan, and Ostroff made a switch-a-roo and canned Everwood. Sure, 7th Heaven’s finale drew big ratings, but many people who watched the episode are admitting that they ONLY watched because it was the SERIES finale! And Everwood is just so good. Hannah & Bright! Ephram & Amy! I’ll never let go.... Unfortunately, except for the television network I run in my head, I have no real say in the matter; so I’m just going to have to deal with the hand that I’ve been dealt. You’ve won this round Ostroff, but the war is FAR from over! At 9 PM the new family drama/thriller, Runaway starring Donny “The Right Stuff” Wahlberg as a guy who is on the run – but to keep with the family theme of the evening, he brings his wife & kids with him! Think 24 meets Prison Break meets, well, 7th Heaven. Buzz is pretty good so far. Buzz would be better if the show was called Everwood and starring Treat Williams, but whatever, I’m not bitter.
Tuesday
Best. Night. Ever.
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