ABC has had a really hard time on Monday nights as of late, and losing Monday Night Football (heading over to sister network ESPN) certainly isn't going to help. Last year, after the football season ended (MNF is always a big ratings winner for ABC), the network famously spent millions of dollars touting the Heather Graham (this should have been there first sign of something foul) comedy Emily's Reasons Why Not only to pull the plug on it after one tepid airing (as it did for the returning Jake in Progress). This season they're going with seasoned, if not graying, reality shows Wife Swap and The Bachelor (in the fall) and then Supernanny (in the spring). Look, I'm not a huge reality fan, mostly because watching these people who can't handle their lives on such a level that they need a British nanny and a naughty step to come in and take charge makes me more nauseated than entertained. I've never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I enjoy watching it over commercials (I think a whole hour of it would literally invert my penis), but I can't imagine that this show is ever going to have an uptick again. Once a show is responsible for plaguing us with that Trista monster and Bob Guiney (why do I know their names?!), it's time to take it off the air for the sake of mankind.

At 10PM, ABC is bringing back back What About Brian after it completely underwhelmed this year as a midseason replacement. As I mentioned earlier, I think this decision had a little more to do with not ticking off J. J. Abrams, who's the creator of Lost and has the new, very buzzed-about Six Degrees on Thursday nights. That being said, while What About Brian sounds very charming, it probably won't make much more headway this season going up against CSI: Miami and NBC's Studio 60 on Sunset Strip, arguably the most talked-about show of the fall. The problem with What About Brian isn't really anything specific, but rather a lot of little things. The show centers around Brian (Barry Watson, surprisingly endearing) who is the last single man standing in a group of twentysomethings (!!!). With the recent engagement of his best friend Adam (Matthew Davis) to Marjorie (Sarah Lancaster - another Saved by the Bell survivor, this time Rachel from The New Class), Brian is crushed, because, get this, he is in loooove with Marjorie. And that, right there, is the problem. Even though Marjorie clearly has feelings for Brian, she still accepts the proposal from Adam. It's like that one plot strand with Keira Knightley from Love Actually only stretched out to sustain itself over the course of an entire series. Marjorie herself is also kind of a problem, because despite being ridiculously hot (and newly brunette), there isn't all that much that makes her so special two guys would be so deeply in love with her. Also, Rosanna Arquette is in it, and well, that's a problem unto itself. I wasn't a fan of Abrams's last romantic adventure, Felicity (why won't they stop whispering!?!?!), but I love his more action-centric Lost and Alias (though it should be noted he hasn't actually worked on the day-to-day operations of either of those shows in years). And while I don't by any means love Brian with the obsessive ferocity of Abrams's other shows, I have enough faith in him and the glimpses of greatness that I've seen this past season to give it a real shot in the fall. But don't get too attached. This is the weakest night in the ABC lineup, and Brian will be lucky to make it to November sweeps if the schedule isn't severely revamped.

Tuesday

At 8PM, ABC will be putting the reality hit Dancing with the Stars, hoping the glitter hasn't faded over the past year. I doubt it has, but the real test will be to see who they get to hoof around with this season. More breakouts like super-ripped super-hyper Lisa Rina? Or more zoned-out train wrecks like Oscar winner Tatum O'Neal (I use Oscar winner as her title not because it's an honor but because it's just so tragically funny)? As long as we're spared another Master P, this show should keep trucking along just fine. When Stars ends in the winter, the new game show Set for the Rest of Your Life will premiere. Contestants compete over different amounts of monthly checks, and then they compete over how long they could get those monthly checks, with the ultimate goal being—you guessed it—Set for the Rest of Your Life. All the while a partner is in a soundproof booth helping and possibly unintentionally hindering your chances at winning the prizes. I never really jumped on the primetime gameshow bandwagon, but this one sounds like it might be worth checking out, if only because I think there's a very good possibility someone will got shot by episode three.

Posted by on May 29, 2006 6:29 PM