Girls Behaving Badly - 
by B-side
Like OMG! Did you even SEE Laguna Beach last night? Alex was like "Slut!" and Jessica was like "Fine!" and Kristin was like "Oh my god" and Talan was like "Whoa" and Roz was like "Wait, what?" and Emily was like "Stop!" and Taylor was like "Alex!" and Jason was like "Huh?" OMG. So great.
Actually, what's really sad is that that description pretty much sums up the entire episode. You know, we don't look for much depth when it comes to Laguna Beach. In fact, we don't look for much of anything beyond honey-dipped cinematography and mumbling conversations. So imagine my delight (and I imagine three million teenage girls' too) when LB crossed over into Real World territory and provided us with an honest-to-god catfight. In Mexico! Viva La Guna!
The episode started on an encouraging note. In the "Previously on Laguna Beach," Kristin announced, "We were all SOO over Jessica's issues." Hallelujah! Now we're talkin! The once-annoying now-cool narrator then went on to say that everyone was heading down to Cabo San Lucas for Spring Break, and all Kristin wanted to do was stay away from Jessica and hang out with Talan. Oh, and did we mention Alex M. would be along for the ride too? Yup, tonight would be drama central, and I couldn't be happier.
We then moved into Kristin's house where she packed up while Roz dependably sat on the bed, looking bored. "Okay, so you know how last year was 'Whatever happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo?'" Roz asked, continuing, "That doesn't ever really like work." Yeah, especially when MTV's documenting your every move for the entire nation to enjoy. Kristin had a different response:
"Especially when your whole f*cking school goes to the same place for Spring Break." Or... like I just said, IT'S ON TV. Funny, when I was in high school, the biggest place to go for Spring Break was, um, the local diner. But anyway, Roz had more to say: "I want to hang out with Alex and Taylor." She LOVES the peace!
Kristin then asked the question on everyone's minds: "Who do you think you're gonna hook up with?" Um, hello?? This is Roz we're talking about. I believe her heart belongs to one man and one man only: Dr. Frasier Crane, of course! Duh. Will Kristin ever learn?
After the opening credits, we then ventured to Jason's house which was surprisingly modest. It even had a white, picket fence. Shut up, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. Anyway, inside this model for domestic bliss we found Jason packing up his belongings. But wait! He wasn't going to Cabo. He was headed to Costa Rica with his family. Wait! So you mean a parent actually denied a teenager the right to bask in unmonitored hedonism and bacchanalia in another country? This makes no sense! Parents aren't supposed to exercise any sort of parental control over their kids in The 'Guna! Boo Jason's parents!
Perhaps the only person sadder than Jason was Cedric who would be down in Mexico sans Master. Luckily, he did have these few precious moments with his Jason as he watched him pack up in his bedroom. Apparently this is a mandatory event in Laguna. Sidekicks MUST watch their masters pack. Luckily, the scene was relatively short, but we did learn that Jason and Alex are "gonna chill." We could practically feel the joy quietly pulsating through Cedric. No one comes between Jasedric. No one. (Or is it Cedrison?)
And finishing off the luggage montage were Alex M. and Taylor, who packed together -- their joint sidekick Morgan S. was shockingly nowhere to be found. Must have been caught in Laguna traffic. The two bitched about Jessica, who, you might remember, hooked up with Jason last week. "It's like a code," said Taylor. "You just don't hook up with your friend's..." "Boyfriend!" finished Alex M. To be fair, the full, unabridged code is "You don't hook up with the boyfriend of your friend who stole that boyfriend away from you when he was in fact still your boyfriend."
Anyway, the gals all headed off to Cabo, and first to arrive were the royal couple, Kristin and Roz who quickly marveled at the Cabo resort. "Will you look at this paradise that we're in right now?" asked Roz. Actually, all we could see was a big pile of luggage. Hey, maybe that's paradise to Roz. Her heart probably goes pitter-patter every time she spots a Samsonite catalog.
Next to show up in Cabo were Jessica and her quasi-sidekick Emily -- a plain girl who just wanted to enjoy her trip to Mexico. "This is a Jason-free trip!" chirped Jessica. Okay, well, then STOP MENTIONING HIM.
Meanwhile, over on the beach, the kiddos were having all sorts of fun. Roz and Kristin enjoyed some tasty tropical beverages while Cedric and Jeff -- a.k.a. Darth Carrot Top -- checked out the waves. Also in tow was Sam, who was described as "Kristin's crush." And if you were excited to see this romance develop, well, then you'll have to wait because that was the last we saw of Sam this episode. As for Jessica, well, she had changed into a booby-licious bikini and was chillin' poolside instead. Heh. Poolside is for loosers. Clearly it's all about the beach.
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