Elsewhere in town, Cameron and his nameless buddies were all playing a rousing game of toss-the-football-in-the-basketball-hoop. Everyone wanted to know if he was going to Rocky's party, but Cameron asked, "Are you sure she's having a party because I heard she wasn't." Look, she put those Christmas lights up for this party tonight. Do you know how hard that is? You don't just hang lights and then not have a party. It's on, Cameron. Oh, it's on.

The guys then all ragged on Cameron for apparently saying the night before that he'd rather hang out with Jessica than be with them. Makes sense. Last time I checked, his friends probably don't give him blow jobs. But then again, that Kelan kid always seems to be trailing behind Cameron ever so eagerly... Nevertheless, as the guys eventually exited the basketball court, Cameron marveled at the social events lined up for him over the next two days. "Dude, tonight Raquel's, and tomorrow Kyndra's!" Like OMG! Two parties! It's a bonanza of mirth and jocundity!

Back at Rocky's dojo, the Chipmunks Christmas album was playing in full force -- oh wait, it was just Raquel and Tessa talking to each other. Yes, the two girls were busy futzing around a kitchen, baking cookies and other holiday treats (despite Tessa's tragic inability to locate the raisins). The banter of the day centered around Raquel, who just could not be more excited about a guy named "Alex." You see, what was great about Alex was that he went to another school, but he was friends with E.J. (Yay! Who?) and therefore, he had ties to the Laguna community. How wonderful for him! Eventually, these two guys showed up, and Rocky bestowed her highest praise on this elusive E.J. character: "You're looking SUAVE!" she said, adding "Meeee I want a huuuula hooop." Seriously, they really sounded like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Meanwhile, Kyndra and Cami hopped into an SUV and headed towards Rocky's house. Even though they hadn't been invited to her party and even though they absolutely despised her, they still thought they'd crash the event. Keep in mind that this is the second week in a row that these girls have had to endure the awful plight that is visiting Raquel's house. But seriously, they're too cool for her. They only attend these events for purely ironic, observational purposes. It's not like they have some insecure need to fit in and reign over the social circles of their school at all times.

"I just don't want her to think she can come to mine," Kyndra said in the car, referring to her party the next night. This then led to a series of lame justifications for their behavior, resulting in Cami obnoxiously hamming it up for the cameras. Around this time, I was hoping their car would skid off into the ocean so we wouldn't have to hear their middling claptrap anymore, but alas, they arrived at the party safe and sound. And what a party it was! There was like Domino's Pizza and everything! And nothing says Christmas like Domino's!

It seemed like everyone from school was at this fête, even Lexie's friend Tara, who begrudgingly told Tessa, "You look really pretty." She then added, "Now, let me go drive a spike through my head." The big talk of the night was over this Alex fella, who apparently was Rocky's boyfriend. All the girls salivated over him, even the ice queen Lexie. Surely Kyndra would be seething with jealousy. However, there were bigger problems for the Mean Girls to fixate on. Namely, a girl named Stephanie who was apparently starting vicious and awesome rumors. "She's the one who said I am dirty," Cami complained. What? Cami dirty? I refuse to believe this poppycock!

Cami is NOT dirty!

WELL. Cami did not take well to this rumor. Holding a cigarette outside, she complained endlessly about Stephanie to Kyndra, and as any good Master would, Kyndra decided to go regulate. She made a beeline towards this random girl and asked, "Did you say something to my friend?"

"No," replied the bewildered Stephanie, who then tried to explain why she was innocent. It didn't seem to have any affect, however, on Kyndra who asked that this girl then apologize to Cami. One problem: why would she apologize for something she didn't say? Sorry, I know I just blew your mind, Kyndra. Well, suddenly there was lots of crosstalk that was hard to follow, and all I knew was that Stephanie said she didn't come with Blair, whoever that was, and then there was more crosstalk and finally, Lexie proclaimed, "Oh my God! So much drama!" Everyone please settle down! You're overloading THE LEXIE!

THE LEXIE IS SHOCKED!

Meanwhile, Cami complained to Rocky, "I've never met this girl before in my entire life!" to which Rocky replied, "So why do you care what she says?" Damn that logic striking again!

Later, after Kyndra was done haranguing that Stephanie girl, she retreated to her clique and resumed her regularly scheduled bashing. "I don't think I've ever had a conversation with Raquel ever, and now I am? Like, I don't want to, and I don't want to start now," she said, apparently confusing social contact with leprosy. Methinks she's jealous of Rocky. She probably wants her as a sidekick instead of Cami. Seriously, considering Kyndra's supposed to be the coolest girl, how did she wind up with such a low-rent sidekick? It's like watching Madonna driving a Ford Focus.

Anyway, the cockles of insecurity soon overpowered Kyndra as she seethed, "My Christmas party is going to be so much better than this. Mark my words." Yeah, this party was so lame with "all its people having fun." Whatevs!

Posted by B-side on August 31, 2006 11:16 AM