Like OMG! Best Winter Formal Ever! - 
by B-side
Total scandal on Laguna Beach this week! Kyndra was all like "I'll be a good girl!" to Tyler, but then like she totally hooked up with Cameron at the Winter Formal, and then Tyler's sister totally saw and was like "OMG! I saw you!" and Kyndra was like "Whatever!" and Cami was like "It'll be our secret!" and Rocky was like "I'm afraid to ask my boyfriend to the formal!" and Tessa was all, "I'm gonna go alone!" and Lexie was like "I hope Kelan likes my balloons" and Cameron was like, "I'm not hooking up with anyone this year." It was totally random!
As you can imagine, the 'Guna was shimmering with anticipation this week as the Winter Formal loomed on the horizon like one of those fancy new "Girl Ferraris" I've been hearing so much about. Of course, when it comes to Laguna Beach, you can't say "dance" without "drama," and before this episode began, we already knew we'd be in for a doozy, thanks to Tessa and her always reliable and wooden narration. First she reminded us what exactly this strange "Winter Formal" event was: "You know, the dance where the girls ask the guys," she said. OH! That's right! Thanks Tessa!
Before you could even begin to ponder who Tessa would be asking to the formal (as if you really would ponder that), she quickly noted, "I just felt like going solo." Translation: "I knew no one would go with me. I remind boys of formica." Tessa also informed us that Rocky was all nervous to ask Alex to the formal because they had just started dating. Apparently it's more daunting to invite your boyfriend to a dumb dance than it is to spend and entire weekend with him in San Diego. Oh Rocky, you beguile us with your enigmatic ways!
But the real story with this formal was Kyndra. As you may remember from last week, she started dating a douchebag named Tyler, who was not only rich and spoiled and hated talking about college, but he also was apparently quite jealous, especially of Cameron. As a result, Tessa told us that Kyndra wouldn't DARE ask Cameron to the formal, "but everyone knew she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off him at the dance!" This was quite a shock to me. After all, Tyler seemed so manly and intoxicating. How could Kyndra ever feel the need to stray?
Anyway, as the show opened, we found Kyndra, Cami and Pumpkin Face (a.k.a. Candice) sitting around a table and talking about buying dresses online (the horror!). Surprisingly, Kyndra's mom Karen didn't gallop into the room, hoping to catch any vicarious morsels of gossip to keep her lifeblood flowing. After they exhausted the topic of online purchases, Kyndra revealed that she was gonna ask Derek to the formal, causing sidekick Cami to predict, "I think Kyndra is gonna get like retarded and then like hook up with Cameron... that would be really funny." Yes, it would be hilarious. Kind of like THE HOLOCAUST.
After the opening credits, we found Tessa and Chase wandering into a store called IWS. "This is such a rad store," Chase gushed. "This is like my favorite store ever!" Memo to self: remember to never go to IWS EVER. Nevertheless, as the two browsed through the collection of patterned shirts and tacky pants, Chase asked Tessa who she was gonna ask to the Winter Formal. For a moment I thought he was fishing for an invite, but then he revealed that he was already going with some girl named Lizzy. "Oh yeah?" Tessa replied upon hearing the news.
"Yeah," Chase mumbled back. This was then followed by an exchanging of longing stares that were most likely edited in from a later part of the conversation where the topic was most likely ice cream or bubbles.
Ultimately, this sexually (un)charged shopping experience came to an end as Chase declared, "We have pretty raging dances!" And let's face it: nothing says raging like a Laguna party replete with plastic cups and parents!
Elsewhere in town, a black car with a pink balloon poking out of its window wound its way through the twisty streets of Laguna. What sordid activity lay in wait? Well, the car pulled up to Kelan's house (in which he and Cameron were playing video games), and soon we discovered that the mystery guest was none other than Lexie and her friend Rachel, or as I like to call her, Bernice (on account of her Staten Island fashion choices). Anyway, the girls surreptitiously stepped out of the car, taking with them a giant hoard of pink balloons.
"Hopefully he can't see us," Lexie said. Yeah, it's not like you have a hoard of pink balloons that might attract his attention or anything.
Covert incarnate.
Luckily, Kelan was oblivious to Lexie's shenanigans outside -- he was clearly transfixed by Cameron's ill-advised 2nd down punt on Madden 2006. This gave the girls ample time to mess up his purdy, black SUV as they scrawled "Winter formal with Lexie?" on the windows. Amusingly, Lexie then said, "He's cute and all, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea." Hmmm... and what would give Kelan the wrong idea? Oh, I know! A MASSIVE HOARD OF PINK BALLOONS.
Meanwhile, as she drove off to ask Derek to the formal, Kyndra scoffed at the notion that the girls would have to invite the guys. "That's sooo stupid!" she balked. Exactly what doesn't she think is stupid? Sorry, Toots. Try as you may to be "over" everything, you're still not Kristin Cavallari.
Back at Kelan's house, Lexie decided to hide inside his SUV (which was conveniently unlocked). Eager sidekick Bernice then rang his doorbell, and when he and Cameron emerged from their Madden haze, Kelan let out his typical stoner smile. "Will you go to Winter Formal with me?" Lexie asked, stepping out of the car.
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