Stella!!!!! - 
by copygodd
With the audition rounds finally over and the comics moving into the houseboat, you'd think this would be the week Last Comic Standing finally got interesting. And you'd be right. Sort of. Because while the drama was definitely kicked up a notch (I'm talkin' 'bout choo, STELLA!), the comedy was still sub par at best. Not to say there weren't good moments, but overall this season isn't close to the beauty that was Season One, or even the girl-next-door bangability of Season Two. In fact, Season Four (don't even ask about the abortion that was Season Three) is shaping up to be a big butterface, without the butter. Or the face. Still, it could be worse. At least we don't have to listen to Ant...
Well, enough pontificating. I needs to get my grin on... Giggidy giggidy giggidy!!
This week's episode starts off with the comics riding the short bus to parts unknown. Rebecca is excited to be on the short bus, cuz she likes tiny things. Apparently, she also likes having the corner of the bus seat wedged firmly in her hooha.
Finally, the bus arrives at the comics' house. Of course, as we all know by now, this season the comics aren't living in an actual house. Instead, they're on the Queen Mary. Yes, the Queen Mary. I don't know about you, but when I think comedy, the first thing that pops to mind isn't usually a ship in dry dock. I guess that's why I'm just a lowly TVgasm recapper and not a bigshot NBC producer.
Anthony Clark greets the comics on deck, where he tells them about the challenges and activities they'll be facing during the upcoming weeks. Evidently, they'll put everyone's comedic skills to the test. Which makes one wonder what challenge Anthony lost to be stuck hosting this show.
In addition, every week will feature a head-to-head stand-up competition between three comics. Not to pick nits, but wouldn't a competition between three comics actually be head-to-head-to-head? Yeah, Anthony Clark is a dumbass. The winner will stay, the losers walk the plank. These competitions will go on until there are only six comics left, at which point America will vote to see who's the funniest. Unless the producers disagree with our choice, in which case they'll decide who's funniest.
Alas, the honeymoon was over before it even had a chance to get started.
Josh (the CP comic) and Gabriel (the fat one) are roomed together, for obvious comedic effect. Stella and Roz are also roomed together, for obvious hormonal effect. While Stella thinks it's funny that Roz has to sleep in a twin bed, Roz says she'd rather sleep on the dock than sleep with Stella's whiny ass. "I must be worse than I thought," says Stella. You have no idea, Stella. No. I. Dea.
At the dinner table, everyone is trying to size each other up while simultaneously tossing salads. Michelle gets a little weepy, and says the competition might be her last hurrah. Personally, I find it hard to believe she's had any hurrahs prior to this one, but whatevs. Rebecca makes a toast and wishes all the comics good luck. Never one to let pass an opportunity to release her inner bitch, Stella gives a little toast of her own: "Here's to taking you all down. It's been fun, bitches!" Meow! Chris Porter then toasts to Stella being a bitch. Ooh, snap!
Speaking of Stella, she doesn't think anyone at the table is competition. What the hell? Cancer is funnier than Stella. If my friend Mango were writing this recap, he'd call her an "unfunny whore." But I don't want to insult any whores who happen to like the 'gasm. Hi whores!
After the break, the comics are introduced to our old friend the Gypsy Lady, a very creepy carny machine that spits out the challenges in the form of a fortune. "Boo me once, shame on you. Boo me twice, it's going to get ugly. " is this week's fortune. JoeyGay thinks the ship is haunted, and the card has something to do with ghosts. I hope so, cuz I can't wait to see the ectoplasmatic boogaloo the ghosts put him through if he trots out that lame Palestinian baseball player bit again.
The comics gather in the Queen Mary Comedy Club, where Anthony explains the challenge: it's all about the heckle. Each contestant will be paired up to perform and heckle each other. The audience, meanwhile, gets to select the best performer and the best heckler of the night. The two winners will both receive immunity. The pairings are random, with Anthony pulling the following combinations out of a rubber chicken: Josh/Chris; Kristen/Michelle; April/JoeyGay; Gabriel/Bil; Stella/Ty; and Rebecca/Roz.
Chris says he's a good heckler, but he can't decide if he should poke fun at Josh's cerebral palsy, as he doesn't want America to hate him for picking on a cripple. Uhm, Chris, Josh's entire act is based on having CP, so I think you're safe. Kristin is excited to play her favorite game in the whole wide world: hurting people's feelings. I love that game, especially the way my Dad played it with me every day for four straight years. Good times...
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