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American Idol
Baby Borrowers
Big Brother
Celebrity Circus
Denise Richards
Flipping Out
Hell's Kitchen
I Love Money
Last Comic Standing
Legally Blonde
Living Lohan
Lost
Project Runway
Real Housewives of NYC
Real World
Shot of Love With Tila Tequila
She's Got The Look
Shear Genius
So You Think you Can Dance
Survivor
The Bachelorette
The Hills
The Mole
Top Chef
More...
That's right folks. Now that the finale has percolated in my little brain for a few days, I've picked out what I think is the most important element. Desmond and Penny doing everything but breaking into Peaches and Herb's "Reunited"? Sweet, but no. The Frozen Donkey Wheel? Please. Nope. It was that almost throwaway scene with Sun and Daddy Widmore. More inside. Everybody put an extra cushion on the chair. This could take a while.
So, how do you move an island?
The same way you move a woman.
With flowers.
That and other revelations brought us to the brink of the end of Season 4. Two weeks from now we'll be treated to a two hour Season Finale, but the seeds are planted this week with a scatter-shot flash-forward and an episode that seemed to be in five places at once.
This ain't my first time at the rodeo!
We've been walking all day. Are we gonna get there soon?
"How long?"
"I don't know. I've been following him."
"What? What do you mean, you've been following him?"
"I'm not even in front."
"I have no idea where the cabin is. Hugo's the last one who saw it."
"Oh, this is just awesome."
"Oh, a wise guy, eh? nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."
That's right ladies and gentlemen. Among several other things that happened this week, Dr. Jack tried oversee his own appendectomy.
Um...Jack?
In the history of bad ideas, watching your own abdominal surgery in a mirror under primitive conditions falls somewhere between "Cop Rock", letting Joel Schumacher direct a Batman movie and invading Russia in the winter time.
Tilt the mirror, you little biatch!
In the first episode after the mini-hiatus, Lost focused all of it's attention on one thing:
Turning Ben from a villain to a hero.
Yes, yes, I know he's still smirking at his own manipulative genius, looking out only for number one. Turning him into a hero doesn't necessarily require that he have his figurative nads cut off. He'll always be a bit of a creep, but he's a creepy good guy. Don't believe me? How bad did you feel for him when he said goodbye to his daughter? How cool did you think it was when he clocked the guy with his telescopic baton? Who were you most sympathetic to in the final scene?
All along, he's been saying that he and his group are the good guys. In keeping with my new "everything at face value" Lost philosophy, I'm ready to believe him.
Gee. I hope someone takes this kinda terrorist looking guy down.
Yes, yes. I'm really late. Think of it as a mid-hiatus shot of Lost to help tide us over until April 24.
Michael's back and this time, he's a puppet on Ben's string. Or is he?
Yeah, he is.
WAAAAAAALT!!!
Big twist this week. No, not how late the recap is... Instead of a flash forward or flash back scenario, Lost fans were given both in the same episode. There were some clues (five by my count) that might have tipped off observant viewers as to this little bit of temporal-trickery, but most of us were taken in by the ruse.
So...if the writers pulled us in with the time twisting, does that make us all a bunch of clock suckers?
The smoke monster gave me a cold sore.
This week is late...again. I apologize, again. Sometimes I have real life commitments that keep me off the keyboard. Unfortunately it's the 'Gasm readers who are inconvenienced and I am sorry for that. The good news is that things look a little better for next week.
So, now that the formalities are done, let's take a look at last week's episode of Lost, just in time for this week's.
Don't shoot.
Two important things about this week and they're both about time.
First, since I was so slack in getting the recap done for last week's episode, I'm gonna burn this one out just as quick as I can.
Second, if you thought that having Desmond become unstuck in time was a novel idea, well, you're exactly right. It's an idea that comes directly from a novel.
Two words. Slaughterhouse Five.
Lots to cover and not much time...or lots of time...
Best kiss ever.
My assignment is late this week. More a refresher for tonight than a recap from Thursday, really. I'd give you a big song and dance about the why's and the wherefore's, but let's face it: You wouldn't care. Plus even if I gave you documented proof, you'd never believe I was abducted by a tribe of Amazonian aliens to use as breeding stock.
It's been a rough week.