Pros: Beret and shirt could attract high flying aircraft.
Cons: Beret and shirt could attract gay island natives.
Verdict: Too Diva, I don't want this guy on my island.

This is your more militant, stick up your ass Sam Jackson. Think unstable 'Nam vet becomes HS Phys Ed teacher. Not so friendly, quiet volatile and unpleasant. And as a coach may have the urge to put a lipstick cam in the women’s locker room.

Pros: He would be the one to kill the boar, happily.
Cons: He would then move on to the women and children.
Verdict: Though I'm not a fan of worrying about my safety, the potential for a lipstick cam in the women’s locker room welcomes crazy Coach Jackson to my island.

Ok, this may not be Sam Jackson, but it did turn up under a Google Search for "Samuel L. Jackson."

Pros: Already has the Island wear - circa Gilligan's Island pilot.
Cons: Not Sam Jackson.
Verdict: No, I don't need another guy eating my island food if it is not the L. Jackson!

Umm... Uhhhh... Errrr.... What? Where's the kick ass L. Jack? This is more your impoverished smelly potentially cat owning El Yackson. The dreads give him an authentic island feel.

Pros: Probably adept at living off the land, could come in handy.
Cons: Allergic to cats, most likely reeks before we even arrive, most likely has mental instabilities, I'd probably wind up calling him Mr. Glover.
Verdict: Despite all the cons, I would have to assume if there was weed on the island, this SamElJack would be the one to find it, dry it, roll it and share it. My island awaits you, sir.

These are the Jackson twins. Orphaned heirs to a family fortune, the one on the left, Sonny, is a gay musician, while the other, Sharik, has become an uber militant Islamic fundamentalist, though the conditions of their trust dictate that in order to access the family funds, they must live together under the same roof.

Pros: Most likely will come to the island with their own laugh track.
Cons: By the time the Jackson twins arrive at the island UPN will have already commissioned the script writing for this as a companion sitcom for FRANtastsic Fridays.
Verdict: Two Jacksons are better than one, and we get screaming angry Sammy and cautious, slow-speaking, cool smoking Sammy. A must have for any island desertion.

Our very own professor Jackson.

Pros: We've all known a professor can be quiet handy when stranded on a desert island.
Cons: We also know how it ended for this professor in Deep Blue Sea. If I’m going to be stuck on an island with people trying to kill me, a giant invisible shadow alarm system both eating people and dragging them underground, the last thing I need are genetically mutated sharks biting me in half.
Verdict: There's only room for one man of science on the island, and I’m afraid Jack's that man, sorry Sam.

The Virgin - lives with mom, the plane crash wasn't the worst part of his trip. He went to Australia to visit his online girlfriend. Turned out to be a man named Steve.

Pros: His sci-fi enthusiasm could come in handy in trying to decipher the island secrets.
Cons: His sci-fi enthusiasm.
Verdict: I don't care to hear speculations on whether Jar-Jar could beat up Roger Rabbit in a Klingon Battle to the death. He's not welcome. Though, now I am somewhat curious, who would win in hand-to-hand combat twixt the two - your thoughts?

Now this is more the classic, guys guy Sam Jackson we all know and love.

Pros: He's gonna be fun to talk to. Charming as hell. Brought the stogies. Knows to how to play poker. Makes us all Laugh. Good looking guy.
Cons: None.
Verdict: Hell NO!! With only a limited number of single women on the island, I can't compete with that shit. Why couldn't we have gotten John Travolta!?