Never Put a Fat Guy in Charge of The Food - 
by EdHIll
For all those people out there that were constantly complaining that Lost wasn't answering any questions, and spinning its wheels about the big mystery, after last week's episode I think we can safely tell you all to talk to the hand, cuz the face ain’t listening. In just two episodes into the second season everything about the show had been turned upside down. Where once it was just a story of crash survivors on an island biding their time until the inevitable onset of rampant cannibalism (with an occasional polar bear thrown in for sh*ts and giggles), we now know the island is actually a research outpost for something called the Dharma Initiative, with a mysterious countdown clock that may or may not avert a disaster. All this was created by two researchers named Gerald and Karen DeGroot and funded by a mysterious man named Alvar Hanso, and his Hanso Foundation. Desmond, the man in the hatch, was caught up in this after his boat crashed on the island three years ago. We also learned that Locke used to bang the mom from Married with Children and he really wants his kidney back. On the other side of the island, Michael, Jin and Sawyer were captured by “The Others� and thrown in jail with hot spicy Latina Michelle Rodriguez. She then turned out to be a mole pumping them for information (hmm, that didn’t sound right). So now everything we knew, or thought we knew, isn't something that we think we knew, unless we knew it before they knew. You know what I mean?
Anyhoo, in this episode we get even more mysteries. What's behind all that concrete? Who and what are those other people on the island? Exactly what is the size of the branch stuck up Michelle Rodriguez's ass? And why do I have such a craving for chicken and peanut butter?
So much from last episode is still soaking in. And in the intervening week so much more has been learned. Because of that, I will try and start this recap off, and any subsequent ones I do, with what’s been brewing around the web. You see, one of the beauties of this show is that the creators have extended clues to the big mystery beyond the show and into cyberspace. Sure it’s a geeky little gimmick to keep the uberfans fired up, but speaking as a Lost uberfan, I can say it’s working. If you just want the undeniably hilarious recap, you can skip this section; otherwise glue on your Spock ears and let’s dive in (Click on these links at your own risk, as they may give away potential spoilers).
Last week we all got to see not only more of the hatch (which an internet nerd has analyzed and created an entire map to), but the "orientation tape" from the Dharma Initiative. We learn that the hatch is a part of the Dharma Initiative, which was created by Gerald and Karen De Groot with funding by the Hanso group back in the 80's. Well, the Hanso group actually has its own website over at http://www.thehansofoundation.org/ (I have confirmed myself that this is in fact an ABC-created site, not a fan site). Interesting reading to say the least. Especially when you go look at their list of active projects. If you pay attention, at the bottom there is a hidden link for the Dharma Initiative and when you click on it, you get to see the entire orientation tape. Oh but there’s more. Cybersleuths have found if you try and access the secured version of the site (meaning you add an S to the http in the web address), you get a page that simply says http://www.bigspaceship1.com/. Go there and you will be even more freaked out. Weird audio and morse code in the title bar. What does it all mean? That is, other than telling me I should stop being such a dork and get out more and enjoy the fall air. Maybe get some cider. Well, that’s enough geek chatter for one week. On to the recap.
The episode begins with the age-old comic standby as old as a "yo mamma" joke. Hungry fat guy surrounded by food. As music plays, Hurley stands in awe in the food pantry, surrounded by all the Dharma Initiative-branded food. Dharma pancakes, Dharma sausage, Dharma mustard. Dharma French Vanilla low fat coffee creamer (now with Splenda!). He then proceeds to pig out like it was the first episode of The Biggest Loser. (Isn't it sad all my references are to other TV shows? Why couldn't I have come up with some kind of literary reference?) My first reaction of course is, "there are 40 people fatty, save some for the rest of them." But then when he opens a cardboard box to find a perfectly formed steak dinner, I immediately know that they are pulling the lamest gimmick in the book. Dream sequence. This is further hammered home when we see Jin standing behind him speaking perfect English. And oh yeah, the Middle Eastern guy in the chicken suit was another dead giveaway too. And for those of you who love all the little inside jokes on the show, pay attention to the milk carton Hurley is drinking from when he turns around to see Jin. It has Walt’s picture on the back. Is this just a silly inside joke by the producers, or is it Walt using his abilities to contact Hurley in his dream state? This will become the second-most asked question on message boards for the next week, right behind "who would win in a fight, the Enterprise or a Star Destroyer?� (And for the record, the answer is the Enterprise. They use variable shield frequencies and phase cannons, for god’s sake). Once the dream-Jin warns Hurley that "everything's going to change," Kate wakes Hurley up from his dream and we see him sitting at the computer, where it's time to enter the numbers.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 Next Page... ( Comments ) | Discuss In Our Forums