Sawyer. The Other White Meat. - 
by Kat
Just kidding. I was being ironical-like just there. My favorite thing about recapping Lost is the show itself, especially when it’s good. This episode I’d say warrants about a B+, which is a hell of a lot better than last episode’s pseudo-religious theme poo fest. This show should always stick to the business of people dicking each other over!
Jack and Locke are putting the guns away in the manly room o’ guns. Jack notices the Virgin Mary statues, and Locke explains that he took them from Charlie and wanted to keep the heroin in case they need it as medicine at some point. Wow! Did someone just explain something clearly, logically, and without dramatic silences and meaningful looks? It’s a first for Lost!
Jack asks Locke for the combination on the door, and Locke goes into a diatribe about trust and assuming Jack only needs to know in case something happens to Locke. OK, good, back to form, way to be all shady for no reason. Locke gives him the combo once and my mind is blown when Jack doesn’t even need to write it down. Locke also suggests putting the medicine in there as well – and we cut to Sawyer, so he must have been a bad boy again. Man, this guy is really hot, but there’s a thing called playing to your strengths. He does not need to take his shirt off anymore.
Sawyer’s giving Charlie a hard time about trying to kill babies and whatnot. He makes fun of Charlie’s sad little lonely tent, comparing it to a crappy bachelor pad. Sawyer’s funny when he’s not just making up weird nicknames. “Shouldn’t you be more worried about Jack ransacking your tent right now?” is Charlie’s only reply to the Sawyer Show. Oh, naughty hobbit! When Sawyer confronts Jack about stealing from him, Jack says the medicine has to be for the whole group. I think Jack has a point there. Sawyer tries to be all tough and threatening, but Jack is so over this nonsense. He’s out.
Yeah, a flahback with sexy noises. Nice. Hey, it’s Joanie from Deadwood! I love her. There’s getting their funk on when Sawyer jumps out of bed jabbering about a meeting; we’ve seen this act before in another flashback, with another woman. Piles of cash fall out of his suitcase, and he’s all “oh my god, how did that happen,” and she totally, AWESOMELY, calls him on it. She grabs a stack of the money and realizes it’s just newspaper…and outlines his scheme for him, just like we’ve seen before. But, it looks like she wants tutorial. He’s turned on by the naughty girl. She’s probably just bored.
Back on the island, Kate has found a magazine in the hatch, and gives it to Sawyer to read. But Sawyer lost his glasses, so he asks Kate to read it to him. Awwww, Sawyer! That is too cute. Actually, he probably just wants to turn this into a role-playing scenario. But then he starts talking about Jack and Ana starting up an army, and wonders aloud why Kate isn’t in on the plan. Why would he try to make Kate jealous about Jack? That’s rather counterproductive. You know, if the desired result is to play naughty schoolboy with her.
Sayid’s off elsewhere being a rageaholic, pounding coconuts on sharp sticks. Hey, where has he been lately? I wonder if Naveen Andrews has a movie or something. Hurley comes ambling up and tries to make with the fun times, but Sayid is decidedly over it. Over Hurley, over fun times, everything. He just wants to end those fucking coconuts.
Hurley isn’t just messing around, though. He’s found out that Bernard is a dentist (that could come in handy) and that Bernard had kept the radio receiver thingy from when they communicated with Boone in the Nigerian plane. I’d be excited about that, and Hurley is too, but Sayid says that they’ll get the same result earlier: Rousseau’s old message on a loop. Hurley leaves it with Sayid, though, the sneaky monkey.
Gah, Ana Lucia is so tiresome. Get that smirk off my TV screen! I don’t even know what she’s saying, but I am filled with righteous fury. Quick, let’s get to Sun, working in her garden. Now, if the previews are to be believed, I’m about to get really upset. Nobody touch her! Here comes the foreboding music…Oh, it’s just Vincent. Yay happy puppy! Oh wait, here it comes. A rain storm comes out of nowhere, and someone comes from behind and puts a bag over Sun’s head and ties her hands up. Simmer down, Edhill.
Kate and Sawyer find an unconscious Sun in the jungle, and Sawyer orders Kate to go find Jack, which I thought was weird. On the beach, they tell Jack what happened as a crowd gathers, and upon hearing that Sun’s hands were tied, Ana announces, “they’re back.” Don’t give Ana the dramatic lines! I’m gonna puke. Did anyone else notice how Michelle Rodriguez took a big, dramatic, probably-hungover breath before she delivered that Emmy-reel line?
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