Appetite for Destruction - 
by EdHIll
So what to do when you have to follow up what has to be one of the best Lost episodes of the season? Well if you're ABC, the answer is simple—hit the brakes. Bigtime. After last week's jaw-dropping ending where Sayid totally punks "Henry Gale," proving that he is the Other we all knew he was, we now get an hour of Hurley complaining about how fat he is. It's kind of like a cancer patient complaining about how much cancer they have, the only difference of course is that the cancer patient can't stop his cancer.
I'm sorry I sound bitter, but I just want to see what happens in the hatch. That's all I care about right now. Hurley can eat all the peanut butter he wants as long as I get to see Sayid shove bamboo rods under Henry's fingernails. But still, a fresh Lost episode is nothing to scoff at. It's still Lost and it's still good.
First off I would like to apologize for my woefully inadequate reading of the mysterious wall map from last week. For only mere hours after I gave my take the Internet was flooded with complete translations of everything on the map. Apparently it was leaked to EW by the producers. Take a good look the translated version here and a high-res grab of it here, courtesy of commenter Pandora, who also did his/her own overlay attempt of the island over the map here.
Soxfan points us to IsLostarepeat.com where you can go to find out whether Lost is a repeat this week.
Commenter Shollia shows us this easter egg which I missed from last week as well. You guys make this so easy for me.
Another funny Lost joke I caught this week was when I was watching The Daily Show do a piece on racism. Rob Corddry was showing a list of peple he is racist against and a giant fast scroll appeared on screen. Being a dork I took the bait and paused it. This is what I saw:
So this week the episode starts not in the hatch after the huge cliffhanger ending from last week, but on the beach, where Libby and Hurley are exercising. Boooring. I will admit, Libby cleans up pretty good. All I remember about her from when she was a tailey was that she was the one with the really chapped lips which made a nice contrast to Ana Lucia's humongous teeth.
Libby tries to cheer up Hurley by saying that he just has a slow metabolism. Hurley says its not that, he's sick. Then he shows her how sick by revealing his super secret food stash. Hurley has guilt from keeping it and tells her that he wishes he could just get rid of it. "Then get rid of it," Libby says. With that Hurley then dumps all his food on the ground. Peanut butter, ranch dressing, peas (peas?) and even crackers. They are on a deserted island, with a limited food supply, and Hurley dumps 30 pounds of food on the ground because he can't stop his eating. If I were on this island I wouldn't be one of those that think Hurley is the "lovable fat guy." No, I would be the one that thinks of Hurley as "the bastard who wasted 12 quarts of perfectly good ranch dressing." I love ranch dressing. It's creamy yet with a tangy bite. You can eat it with almost anything.
Hurley doesn't care if there are children starving in Africa
As soon as the food is dumped they hear voices. Sun and Jin run through saying "they've found something!" Well I hope its new shoes because they then run through a giant pile of peanut butter and salad dressing. What they actually find of course is the giant food drop from last week. While everyone is thrilled and grabbing what they can, Hurley is crushed. It's more food! Food is evil! When someone suggests that Hurley be in charge of the food rationing like last time, he refuses. Then Hurley sees someone. A creepy bald guy in a bathrobe. He chases after him into the jungle and trips. When he looks up he sees the man's slipper. So is it a hallucination if he can see a slipper?
Later, as Hurley is on the beach with the slipper in his hand, Libby comes up to see whether he's OK. He doesn't want to talk about it. From here we go right into this week's flashback mode. Hurley is in his psychiatrist's office. Apparently he's been committed to the loony bin. Oops, let me be more politically correct about that. The nut shack? Funny farm? Crazy house? The psychiatrist asks him how his diet is going. Then he asks him about "the accident." Hurley doesn't want to talk about it. OK then, how about the list of the things you like about yourself? EdHill's goes something like, "Ripped abs, sense of humor, encyclopedic knowledge of South American fauna." What is Hurley's? He didn't do it. Hurley says that his friend Dave thinks it's stupid. The psychiatrist just sighs and says that Dave doesn't want him to get better.
Hurley then goes to the gym, where Dave is yelling at the patients playing basketball, who are ignoring him. At this point is there anyone out there who doesn't see this as a lame Sixth Sense ripoff? Dave is an imaginary friend which will be revealed at the climax of the episode? Dave is no Bruce Willis. Sure he's got the bald thing down, but it takes more than that to be the one and only Hudson Hawk.
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