You Can't Make an Omelet Without Breaking Some Eggs - 
by EdHIll
You know I gotta to hand it to my boy Diddy. Whether or not this season of Making the Band 3 is successful, he’s already created some good TV. So who cares if this girl band ends up sucking (which it probably will), we were able to see Diddy chasing a bunch of girls in a rickshaw with a bullhorn. Do you see Martha Stewart doing that? I doubt it. Would you expect to see Donald Trump yell out “Boom! Cat!� Well, if you paid him enough money probably. That dude will whore out for cash quicker than a Filipino prostitute. My point is, Diddy always keeps things interesting. You expect him to zig, and he zags. You think he’s all badass and then he shows up holding his pet Bichon Frise named Cha Cha. And if that doesn’t draw you’re interest, we spend at least a third of the show in the emergency room. That’s right, this episode we get a body count. Diddy will take no prisoners in his quest for the next crappy girl band.
We open with Tiffany and she is hobbling around because of her injured hip. I guess you can say she’s not feeling too hip? Get it? Zing! Anyway, she’s limping back into the loft in her blue Sean Jean pajama’s, with a sullen look on her face. When the other girls start asking her what happened she tells them that they she pulled a ligament and they had to pop her hip back into place. For which I can only say “eeew�. And If I can just share with all of you, when I was in middle school I broke my collar bone and it was on that day that I made a startling discovery. I am a big freaking baby when it comes to pain. So for a girl to get her hip popped out of place, and still try and dance in front of Diddy gets mad props from me. Granted part of me is still wondering why she didn’t tell everyone to stop the music and just scream “I can’t dance Diddy because you were chasing me in a rickshaw for 6 freaking miles for no goddamn reason and it caused my goddamn hip to pop out of joint. Now stop wearing sunglasses inside it makes you look like a moron.� But she didn’t. I should be on this show, and not just so I can stare at Aubrey when she sleeps. And before you guys start saying “But EdHill, it’s a show about a girl group. Only women can be on the show.�, let me just point out to you exhibit A. Denosh. Ain’t no way that isn’t a dude.
I know all there is to know about the Crying Game...
When the girls ask how in the world she could have her hip pop out of join from running, Tiffany explains that she was galloping like a horse. And as an example she gives us an interpretive dance with her arms that is somehow meant to indicate the actions of a galloping horse. It was very Twyla Tharpy. I was half expecting Laurie Ann to pop out of the closet and scream “Boom! Boom! Cat!�. But still, who “gallops like a horse� when they run? From what I remember a horse is a quadruped and we’re, you know, not. In fact the only thing I have in common with a horse is… well never mind.
Soon Johnny call’s with their next assignment. As the girls all gather around the speaker phone and all say “Hiii� in unison I felt a very strong Charlie’s Angel’s vibe wash over me. I mean if you can imagine Drew Barrymore with a dislocated hip, it would be spot on. And believe me; I’ve imagined all sorts of painful scenarios for Drew Barrymore after I saw Fever Pitch. Speaking of Drew Barrymore, whatever happened to Tom Green? I mean last I heard he had one ball and then he disappeared. Who will fill the void of “annoying Canadian sucking on a cow’s udder�? Sure, sg-dub does it on occasion, but he’s not Canadian. But I digress.
Johnny tells them that their next task is they are going to learn the title song to Making the Band. It’s called “Ooh La La�, which is a good choice because as far as I know that’s pretty much the entire lyrics. They just repeat it a lot. It’s about as lyrically nuanced as Mmm bop. But hey, whatever gets Aubrey to shake her cute little fanny, I’m 100 percent behind. Speaking of fannies shaking, Johnny then tells the girls that they are going to be learning the song AND dancing to it. With that we get the ominous black and white fast zoom on Tiffany with appropriate dark music. That’s never good. Once they get off the phone we see Tiffany limping throughout the house faintly singing “ooh, la la la laa laaa�. Poor girl.
But before you start shooting your whole sympathy wad at tiffany, so to speak, we find out she’s not the only one suffering from a medical problem. Cindy isn’t feeling good either. She can’t really explain it. She gives it a good try when she tells us "I’m feeling out of myself as far as health goes". Is that good? Bad? I mean, If I called in to work tomorrow and said “hey boss, I’m feeling out of myself as far as health goes� how exactly would he take it? Well in order to erase any doubts we get the same black and white quick zoom with accompanying dark music. It’s bad. Then she says “my mind and my body are not working at the same pace.� And since we’ve gotten a look at how her mind works, you know it’s really bad.
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