The big season finale began with the girls rehearsing for their upcoming finale performance. This was a very exciting time for them because it was to be the first live show as Danity Kane. And yes, a week later and the name still sounds ridiculous. Anyway, this show wasn't going to be just any old Danity Kane rush job. No, there would be time and effort put into this bad boy. Oh, and boys too. Yes, as D. Woods was oh so glad to mention, a gaggle of buff backup dancers were now on hand to help boost the Writhing Factor from a questionable 8 to a solid 9.5. Let no body part go without undulation!

Perhaps most delighted about this addition was Aubrey, who noted, "Basically, the boys are throwing us around and touching us a lot." This was followed by a naughty, excited giggle. But for real, yo. She wants to be known as a serious artiste.

Meanwhile, a horny and freshly single Aundrea fantasized that one of the black dancers was gonna be her lover. Laurie Ann asked why the black guys were always the lovers and not the husbands, but that's like asking, "Why is it Boom Cat and not Cat Boom?" Some things we just will never know...

Later, the girls sang for their vocal coach Betty Wright who seemed to like the performance, but then again, maybe not. She told the girls to loosen up, stop being so stiff, and to demonstrate this she grabbed a microphone and seemed to engage in some sort of foreplay with it. Before things could get too serious between the fledgling lovers, the girls all giggled, causing Betty to say, "I wasn't always 52, baby!" Yeah, she used to be 51, and what a tramp she was then!

Well, the girls eventually headed out to a park under the Brooklyn Bridge where they were to have their first concert. "Whoo! Bask in it!" Laurie Ann said, a thousand boom cats of awe overwhelming their senses.

"Great day for a show. Let's go!" D. Woods then told us, clearly not seeing those ominous storm clouds hanging over the city. Sure enough, the wind started to pick up, causing Aubrey to say, "It was a little breezy." And no, she didn't mean that in a lighthearted, easy-breezy-Covergirl sort of way. She meant that there was a damn storm of the century heading their way.

"I felt like there was a tornado coming," Dawn said. "I thought my weave was gonna come out." I hate when that happens!

Sure enough, a violent storm rolled into town, and everyone had to get thee to a trailer. Once in a secure, dry environment, Laurie Ann commented, "Well guys, this is truly an unexpected thing. I didn't know it was going to do this." You didn't? You mean you don't have a direct pipeline into Mother Nature's every whim? I'M SHOCKED!

While Laurie Ann mused over how astounding it was that she had not been personally alerted to this latest meteorological development, the camera crews outside ran for cover as if molten lava were descending on them. MUST GET TO SHELTER! THE WATER BURNS! And just when things couldn't get any worse, we then found out that the sound board, lighting board and props had been ruined by the rain. Seriously -- how did the techies not anticipate this? There were clouds -- even a strong breeze! It's called get a damn garbage bag and cover the electronics! Now, as a result of this lethal rain, the show was off! Dunh dunh DUNH!!!

We then went to commercial break, wondering if ever the sun might shine on New York City again, and sure enough, the next day, Mother Nature showed mercy and sent those pesky storm clouds away. Now it was all sunshine all the time. "This is a good day. This is a GOOD day!" Aubrey told us. Just how good of a day was it? Well, the concert was back on; so that was good. And crowds of people showed up; so that was good too. Oh, and Diddy arrived backstage with gift bags, and you just knew that HAD to be good. Everything was just... good!

Posted by B-side on August 11, 2006 6:46 PM