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Call me crazy, but I thought Yugoslavia didn't exist anymore, so I figured the family would have had a hard time holding on to the throne. But you know those crazy Europeans, everybody has a royal family. Doing a little cursory research, it looks like the Royal Family is Serbian, and Dmitri is some cousin of the Crown Prince. You just know that he is one of those jerks that loves to be introduced as "His Royal Highness" because he would have to kill a lot of people to ever be in line for the throne of marvelous Serbian empire, which is equivalent to saying "I own the biggest Ford dealership in Southern California."

JW and Jabe have to go through a few little tests during the dinner. First, of course, is the arrival and the gift. Kathy is very impressed with JW's gift, but the same can't be said for Jabe. Now, even Jabe's teammates couldn't believe that he had bought a year's supply of chocolate, so you could imagine how stunned Kathy was. Well, actually, you really sort of have to imagine it, because her face didn't display that much shock value, although you can argue she was just trying to be polite. It also didn't help that Jabe showed up to dinner without a jacket (although he did spend the five minutes to properly shave his head before leaving for dinner).

Throughout the rest of the tasks, which included accommodating a late arrival (Kathy's sister Kyle), choosing the proper wine, as well as eating escargot and lobster, you could see that Park had a much better strategy. They had one person, Vanessa, speak into the microphone attached to JW's earpiece. Her teammates gave her some instruction, and she calmly relayed them to JW. Madison, on the other hand, was a complete disaster. Everybody was basically shouting their information into the microphone, meaning that Jabe had a difficult time trying to pick up on the advice he was being given at the same time he was supposed to be trying to have a conversation. Therefore, he seemed very lost and not into any of the conversation.

Overall, the dinner party was no contest. The only area where Jabe really beat out JW was during the escargot portion, where JW refused to eat the snails. Still, I actually believed that Madison had a chance to win the contest when it came time for the toast. While JW did a great job ad-libbing his toast, Jabe seemed to be doing well since there was only one person, Latricia, who was feeding him his lines. He was able to complete them verbatim, and at a medium pace, but when Latricia told him to "say thank you" he actually repeated "say thank you," which ended up being quite the humorous end to the whole evening.

As expected, JW was chastised for not at least trying a bite of the snails, but Madison was just too addlepated to have a chance at winning. Team Park was rewarded with a trip on a private plane to a winery. The show is obviously on a budget, because the private plane was kind of a joke. Even a trans-atlantic coach seat looked like it had more room than these people had on their plane. If you want a nice air charter, try a charter with a little more luxury.

Because they lost, Madison went to see who was going to be eliminated. The Apprentice calls it the board room, The Cut calls it the style forum, but there really isn't a catchy phrase to describe what they do on I Want to Be a Hilton. Everybody sort piled into one of the rooms at the Hilton residence and went at it. "Bitching in the Parlor" and "Complaining in the Tea Room" just don't have any sort of zing to them, so we'll just call it Elimination Time! So, during Elimination Time(!), everybody started to dissect who was to blame. At first, you would want to say that Jabe had sort of failed, but other than the gift, he handled himself pretty well at dinner, and his teammates weren't making it any easier on him.

For his part, Jabe laid the blame on Alain, who was one of the more sucky contestants. I mean, I can't stand those Alans who must put an "i" in the middle of their names, it's just unnecessary. He also thinks that because he knows about cosmetics and perfume, it gives him a touch of class. However, selling Cliniqué at Macy's does not make you classier any more than working the fryaltor at Wendy's makes you a chef. Jabe's problem wasn't Alain's misplaced haughtiness, but rather the fact that he looks like somebody who does poorly under pressure, and Alain was the only person on the Madison team who didn't have anything to say into the microphone during dinner.

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Posted by J-Unit on June 26, 2005 7:52 PM