Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer -- Now In Bite Size Form - 
by B-side
Since nothing has apparently happened on the Tom Cruise front in, oh, seventy-two hours, I decided to dwindle down the Tom Cruise/Matt Lauer showdown from The Today Show into a convenient, thirty second package. And because no day is complete without a little passive-aggression, I even included Katie Couric's snippy little put-down of Tom at the end. Enjoy!


Comments
Hahaha. Awesome.
Man I love how crazy he is. I hope he get a TV show or something.
Posted by: Mary | June 28, 2005 8:12 AM(#1 of 50)
Could someone help me out? My speakers are crappy and I didn't hear what Katie Couric said at the end.
I saw Tom on the Tonight show last night. When and Jay asked him how they met, he totally avoids the question and says something really stupid. He did the same exact thing when Oprah asked him. I guess he just couldn't say that he went down the list of YOUNG actresses until he found a willing brainwash subject.
Posted by: runswithscissors | June 28, 2005 8:34 AM(#2 of 50)
B-Side, don't be so glib, you can't handle the TRUTH (but you can handle Britney and Kevin's Truth). Time to find an e-meter and get audited.
Posted by: SaveFerris | June 28, 2005 8:36 AM(#3 of 50)
Tom might be even craizer than you think.
"In the Advanced Orgs in Edinburgh and Los Angeles, Scientology staff were at one time ordered to wear all-white uniforms with silver boots, to mimic Xenu's Galactic Patrol as depicted on the cover of Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science. This was reportedly done on the basis of Hubbard's declaration in his Flag Order 652 that mankind would accept regulation from that group which had last betrayed it — hence the imitation of Xenu's henchmen. (This was almost certainly a misinterpretation of what Hubbard meant — he was most likely referring to psychiatrists, whom he believed had played a key role in Xenu's crimes.)
When he talks about how he "knows" the history of Psychiatry and Lauer doesn't, he might be referencing something that allegedly happened in the "Glactic Federation" controlled by "Xenu" four quadrillion (yes 4 Quadrillion!) years ago.
Posted by: josh | June 28, 2005 9:24 AM(#4 of 50)
I just took that from Wikipedia, btw. Take it for what it's worth.
Posted by: josh | June 28, 2005 9:26 AM(#5 of 50)
Katie said: Yeah, I was gonna say that's a weird use of the word 'glib.'
Posted by: Lady J | June 28, 2005 10:03 AM(#6 of 50)
matt lauer's thoughts while interviewing tom cruise: "don't tell me what i don't know or what i should know. at least i need a college degree for my job, bitch!"
Posted by: rhm | June 28, 2005 10:09 AM(#7 of 50)
Nice choice of song, btw. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Lovely. Saw Tom on TRL yesterday and he pulled Katie out again to be by his side....he kept kissing her head and hugging her so tight like he was trying to strangle her. Ew. I just don't get what happened to him. To think I used to have a poster of Maverick on my wall...
Posted by: Jessita | June 28, 2005 10:15 AM(#8 of 50)
It's official: Tom Cruise has become the Gary Busey of his generation!
Posted by: Herr Verner | June 28, 2005 10:18 AM(#9 of 50)
Do you think vitamins can combat the resurrgence of his center tooth? Shiver me timbers, I think it's back.
Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Jerry Falwell, and my boyfriend's mom should all go take a long walk on a short, very extreme pier.
Posted by: courtneymay | June 28, 2005 10:32 AM(#10 of 50)
Gary Busey?
How dare you insult Gary Busey!
Didn't Busey just become, essentially, your garden-variety drunk, drugged Hollywood star? Am I missing something?
Posted by: David G. | June 28, 2005 10:36 AM(#11 of 50)
B-side am I just hearing things or does Cruise say "Bad Man" under his breath? Or did you add that in?
Posted by: Retroqueen | June 28, 2005 11:13 AM(#12 of 50)
Well, it won't be long before Tom Cruise starts referring to himself in the third person....
ps. vitamins/centre tooth - very funny!
Posted by: potterygirl | June 28, 2005 12:07 PM(#13 of 50)
Jessita,
I think it's fairly clear what has happened to him.
Posted by: Josh | June 28, 2005 1:09 PM(#14 of 50)
the video won't work for me. aw, boo. the other tom cruise videos work for me. trust me, i watch them on a daily basis.
Posted by: roxanne | June 28, 2005 1:10 PM(#15 of 50)
"No such thing as a chemical imbalance"???!!!!
I didn't realize high school dropouts could get medical degrees.
There's hope for me yet..thank you Xenu!
Posted by: shelley | June 28, 2005 1:41 PM(#16 of 50)
Since I suffer from a non-exsistant illness, I won't spend my money on his film. What a joke of a person he turned out to be.
Posted by: mario moceri | June 28, 2005 1:48 PM(#17 of 50)
I always get to see all the videos you have on here, but this one isn't working for me. Anyone who might know why?
Posted by: Genevieve | June 28, 2005 2:14 PM(#18 of 50)
When he says, "matt matt matt..." is he trying to woo Matt Lauer? WOO! "look into my eyes, Matt, you adorable mammal! Come join the cult of the stars!I'm ready for my close up, Matt Lauer!"
I, too, love the comment about the mono-mid-tooth thing coming back.
Using the logic of Dr. Cruise, there is no such thing as a headache even... I mean, there's not a BLOOD test or anything, so how could one exist?
Thanks for thesmokinggun link, too, as it shows just how WACKY and EVASIVE our little L. Ron Hubbard really was!
To quote MAD magazine, "Blech!"
Posted by: Helenann | June 28, 2005 2:15 PM(#19 of 50)
How long before a video montage remix of Tom Cruise and Rosie O'Donnel hits the net?
heck, you could just use the Pat O'Brien one and replace all the pat o'brien footage with tom's ranting.
Posted by: British | June 28, 2005 2:17 PM(#20 of 50)
British...Brilliant!
Posted by: HicksPub | June 28, 2005 2:32 PM(#21 of 50)
For once, I agree with Rosie...she spoke about her Tommy needing to shut up on her blog this weekend.
You know it's bad when the one who would switch 'teams' just for you turns on ya!
Posted by: Helenann | June 28, 2005 2:43 PM(#22 of 50)
Tom Cruise IS an ACTOR but seriously, he needs to pick a personality and stick with it. He's like Sybil with PMS. This whole "TomKat" thing is overdone and merely for PR. I for one, am sick of it. Why is it actors think they have the responsibilty to utlize their position for this type of fodder? It's irresponsible.
Posted by: Dawn Marie | June 28, 2005 4:40 PM(#23 of 50)
I can't see the video, either. Usually I can. Hmmm.
Posted by: Gwennie | June 28, 2005 4:54 PM(#24 of 50)
my video won't work either. I'm dying to see it!!
Posted by: momo | June 28, 2005 5:00 PM(#25 of 50)
Tom Cruise is completely off his rocker. He did, however, use the word glib correctly. Definition 2 or 3 could apply here. (Tom is a delight to watch in all his psychotic grandeur. Katie Couric just sucks. I can't believe I've seen her colon)
1. Performed with a natural, offhand ease: glib conversation.
or
2. Showing little thought, preparation, or concern: a glib response to a complex question.
or
3. Marked by ease and fluency of speech or writing that often suggests or stems from insincerity, superficiality, or deceitfulness.
Posted by: Alicia | June 28, 2005 5:01 PM(#26 of 50)
(in concurrence with poster #16):
I, too, had no idea that you could know virtually everything about the history of psychiatry yet you still haven't finished your high school career. It makes me wonder: why the hell am I still in medical school when I can easily follow in Tom's footsteps with a successful career in CRAZY without all the hassle?!
Posted by: howlame | June 28, 2005 6:41 PM(#27 of 50)
Alicia,
Is it possible that glib is better used to describe a conversation or response as in your examples rather than a person?
Loved the audio (no video for me so I imagined).
He wasn't so wacky on Leno last night. Was that an older show? I caught most of the interview.
Posted by: suebee | June 28, 2005 9:53 PM(#28 of 50)
Tom is a strange, strange man. Ugh, I cant stand him at all.
Posted by: Katrina | June 28, 2005 10:14 PM(#29 of 50)
Tom Cruise is a complete Moron! Stick to making movies and keep your frickin mouth shut, Biatch! Nobody wants to hear your stupid, pompous, idiotic, self-righteous opinions of your stupid CULT! Stick with acting..........and not acting like a jack-ass!
Posted by: James | June 29, 2005 12:05 AM(#30 of 50)
Tom Cruise has a chemical imbalance.
Posted by: Mike | June 29, 2005 7:22 AM(#31 of 50)
OMG! Come out of the closet already! Tom Cruise is a first class freak. I heard that Nicole found him with a guy and that's why she left him. Can Katie Holmes be this clueless to what's going on?
Posted by: Lisa | June 29, 2005 10:54 AM(#32 of 50)
I KNOW ABOUT THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY AND YOU DON'T MATT... NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH.
WTF is wrong with this man? If he wasn't a celebrity, he would've been locked in a padded cell weeks ago. With good reason too.
Posted by: Shut Your Pie Hole Tom | June 29, 2005 6:53 PM(#33 of 50)
It is very obvious to anyone watching Tom recently that he is a manic-depressive,
currently in a manic state, which in short time will change and then, watch out, we haven't seen anything yet. When his love-life doesn't go exactly as he has it planned in his mind, which it won't, it will not be a pretty sight. Tom, it is time to see the psychiatrist - they have medication for your chemical imbalance. Ever heard of a chemical imbalance? Maybe you need to
study up on it!
Posted by: deb | June 30, 2005 12:17 AM(#34 of 50)
Yeah, someone somewhere described Cruise as 'bi-polar' -- that seems to fit. These recent episodes where he turns on interviewers are a little scary in the light of the hyper-manic activity.
As for where he met Katie (#2), I am under the impression that he was scoping out potential, uh, life partners when he was auditioning femmes to co-star in the next Mission Impossible flick. (Scarlett J ran a mile when he tried to spring some Scientology event on her.) The fact that Seventeen Magazine published an interview with Katie late last year where she said, "I think every little girl dreams about (her wedding). I used to think I was going to marry Tom Cruise." certainly would have got his 'people' into high gear. I also read something in a recent issue of In Style (she's on the cover) where Katie says (something along these lines) that one of her favourite things to do is go dancing with a gay friend! Now, bear in mind, that interview was probably conducted months and months ago, quite likely well before her, uh, current predicament. Loose lips sink ships!!
Posted by: Maxmillion | June 30, 2005 5:10 PM(#35 of 50)
Tom said he does not believe in chemical imbalances, so what does he think is happening to him !! He needs to be cut down to size, OHHHH, sorry, he already is !! Doctor Cruise does not know what he is talking about !! Run Katie, Run !!
Maybe Tom needs some medication, ohhhhhhh, i don't know, something called.......CRUISE-CONTROL !!!
(but tell him its a VITAMIN).
Posted by: sheila | July 1, 2005 7:31 AM(#36 of 50)
I had a feeling that Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields didn't know the history of psychiatry.
Posted by: Nrrody | July 1, 2005 4:53 PM(#37 of 50)
Hi; I am loving this Tom bashing, I have never understood what people see in him. He is not tall not handsome in the classic way very skinny and never even dresses sharp...I can't get the video either and can't understand what is being said..Where are his handlers, yank him off the air he is totally out of control. He looked drugged on Oprah, his eyes were so dark and sparkly. It was embarrassing to see that stupidity.
Posted by: virginia ndip | July 2, 2005 11:53 AM(#38 of 50)
Wow, it's fun to ridicule others, ain't it, gang?
I'm sure glad I was not part of YOUR sandblock - you all were probably giving wedgies to the little kids and stealing lunchboxes.
So Tom Cruise has a cause he believes in. So what. Kim Bassinger promotes animal rights. Martin Sheen is anti-Iraq-War. Princess Diana talked about landmines. Tom Cruise is against drugging our kids.
...And this makes him... crazy??
Whatever.
You guys must have missed the Today Show follow-up, where Dr. Joseph Glenmullen, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, said that Tom had actually raised some important points, and that Tom Cruise is right in saying that there is no medical proof or evidence of a "chemical imbalance", in fact, other Countries have already banned shrinks from making that claim.
See http://broadcast.organicframework.com/p/423,28848.html
When asked about the dangers of these drugs, the noted psychiatry scholar said: "Well for example with the antidepressants we now have a warning that they make some people suicidal; people may gain 20, 30, 40 lbs. of weight, and have severe withdrawal..."
Also, several other doctors have spoken out on the drugging of Postpartum depression issue.
See http://www.cchr.org/postpartum.htm
Last but not least: You think psychiatry has nothing to do with the Nazis? Ok, class - do a Google on "Society for Racial Hygiene", look at its founders. Or do a Google on Ernst Rudin, or Alfred Ploetz.
You'll be surprised. The Holocaust came from the idea that imperfect humans could be eliminated. That idea came from German psychiatry. I sh*t you not.
Here's an interesting quote: "Only through [the Führer] did our dream of over thirty years, that of applying racial hygiene to society, become a reality." Ernst Rüdin, German psychiatrist
See http://www.cchr.org/religion/page49.htm
Posted by: Greg | July 4, 2005 2:08 PM(#39 of 50)
Hiya, Greg,
It's interesting that the website you quote your statistics from says:
"Established in 1969 by the Church of Scientology... Hosting, eCommerce, Programming and SEO by Outflow Technologies"
Go figure! Thanks for the proof that Scientology will use anything to spread it's lies, including it's own webiste (it's printed in tiny print at the bottom).
Perhaps there is not a blood test to check for a chemical imbalance. But, there was not a blood test marking my brain damage, but with a neuropsychologist and CT scans, they were able to map out where the damage lay. According to your philosophy, I don't have a problem and don't need to take the medication I have. I ask you to walk a mile in my shoes (if possible), and not take something that makes living 'normally' possible. (of course, I am posting in here, so 'normal' is completely relative.)
And what does taking an antidepressant have to do with "Racial Hygeine?" While Hitler wanted to eliminate, exterminate and obliterate those who are different, psychiatry works (in most cases) to help those who are suffering so that they can live. Big difference. You have the right to believe you are right. So do those who have benefitted from modern day science. Yes, there are a few bad apples in psychiatry, but there are a few bad Boy Scout leaders, too, and you don't seem to condemn all of them.
To say psychotherapy comes from Hitler and his regime is discounting those who worked in the field before WWII (and there were plenty). Therapy didn't start in the concentration camps and it (gratefully) did not end there.
Folks, just be sure to check out people's sources when they are supporting Scientology--usually there will be a small inferrence or note that will link them directly to the organization. Sad, but true. Most other organizations do not link themselves to Scientology because of it's wackiness.
Posted by: Fuzzbait | July 5, 2005 12:44 AM(#40 of 50)
Tom is an idiot. I hope Matt Lauer doesn't ever have him back. I think that someone should get Tom to put his money where his mouth is. It would make a great reality TV show. They should round up ten paranoid schizophrenics from the nearest state mental hospital and take them to Tom's house. Then they should put a TV crew inside his home and put a big chain around it so no one can excape. Then they should take away all those drugs from the mental patients and let Tom heal them with daily doses of vitamins, exercise and, of course, Scientology. At the end of one month, someone should ask Tom if he still believes that "There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the brain".
Posted by: Art | July 6, 2005 12:32 PM(#41 of 50)
Scientology is a big backer of anti-Ritalin, anti-ADHD propaganda out there. Of course Cruise has studied the "history of psychiatry" and is generally well-versed in this area -- he has been spoon-fed the Scientology version and he knows it by heart. His utter ignorance is revealed when he calls all these drugs "anti-psychotic." What a crock. He knows zilch about biochemistry, neurology, or psychiatry for that matter.
I've wondered why his handlers aren't, well, handling him, but I've heard he fired them and his sister is his manager. It's Michael Jackson syndrome. The guy is going to spontaneously combust.
Posted by: B. | July 12, 2005 6:06 PM(#42 of 50)
It's been my observation that people who throw themselves into any variety of group that requires them to close their minds off to any thoughts other than the groups' are generally lost souls that are easily manipulated by promises of a new life. They have no sense of self-worth or control in their lives so they look for it through the group.
Now onto Tom Cruise. His ignorance and "Stepford Wives" attitude are embarrassing. Maybe this is where Nicole Kidman got her inspiration when making the movie. And no wonder his old publicist kept him from talking. His career would have been over years ago if he made his thoughts or should I say, "Scientology's" thoughts public.
As for my thoughts on his new relationship. He has no chemistry with Katie Holmes. It kinda confirms my thoughts as to why he and Nicole adopted children.
Posted by: Shelley | July 12, 2005 9:03 PM(#43 of 50)
In the recent interview with Matt Lauer this is the point that Tom Cruise didn’t make.
Do you know how much prescription drugs are worth to Big Pharma? On a world wide basis about a trillion + dollars. How far do you think they would go to protect this income? How much do you suppose the pharmaceutical companies spend advertising drugs on TV, Radio, Magazines and News media? How much do they spend lobbying Congress to look the other way? How much do they pay (Grants) universities such as Harvard and Columbia to agree that drugging children is scientifically valid? Right now Ritalin is being dispensed in schools under the guise of treating over active children. Ritalin is a form of amphetamine and of course as time goes by and it doesn’t “work” the school psychologist then prescribes a higher dosage and then amphetamines and the end product is the teenager becomes a drug addict and a lifetime client. Please don’t believe me but take the time to research it, Google is a great tool for this. Keywords are Prozac, Ritalin, School shootings, and Suicide. Regards Michael Hammond
Posted by: Michael Hammond | July 12, 2005 9:17 PM(#44 of 50)
i come from best search engine http://www.google.com
Posted by: search engine | July 13, 2005 1:50 PM(#45 of 50)
Micheal Hammond,
So, "Big Pharma" isn't supposed to advertise? Okay. Then apply that to every product out there--from infant formula (which is advertised in doctors offices) to Chef Boyardee products...IT'S CALLED BUSINESS. If you are so against it, go grow your own pharmaceuticals.
Posted by: Fuzzbait | July 14, 2005 12:02 AM(#46 of 50)
Tom Cruise needs to be immediately sumbmitted to a psciatric ward where he can be severly medicated and become entacted with reality once again. In my personal opinion i think his money that society helps him attain is being used on the heavest drugs available. He is out of his mind and probably experimenting with dangerous drugs that will eventuallly cause him to end up taking prescription drugs and altering his entire standpoint. His errotic behavior and dilluted sense of relaity is destroying his carreer And will sonn filter into this "picture-prefect relationship he is attempting to mold. His views are formulated and further installled because of his lack of awareness and sense of reason. For him to reside in opting for prescription drugs to be band is completely unreasonable. Although, there are some standpoints that he has most likely just memorized and filtered into this enraged sense of superiority. Not everyone is constructed the same, and in some cases this medicine can be essential to exists with some sense of normality. I hope Tom stops the drugs...chills out abit and becomes more open to diversity and different genetical makeup. Keep it up Tommy and soon you'll be strapped to the bed skitzo and completely out of your mind. I have a feeling that your carreer is slowly going to diminish, the women you control will soon be leaving you in know time, and you will end up eating your own words. The world is begining to think that your freakin crazy, but we also know your strung out on drugs. It's only a matter of time until you crash. And all embrace every minute of it.
Posted by: Audrey Evans | July 15, 2005 4:11 PM(#47 of 50)
If advertising in America is wrong, even for prescriptions that can be harmful for children, then what about advertising a religion through the use of material that's given to children in elementary school. As the time magazine article states
"One front, the Way to Happiness Foundation, has distributed to children in thousands of the nation's public schools more than 3.5 million copies of a booklet Hubbard wrote on morality. The church calls the scheme "the largest dissemination project in Scientology history." Applied Scholastics is the name of still another front, which is attempting to install a Hubbard tutorial program in public schools, primarily those populated by minorities.-----The commission typically issues reports aimed at discrediting particular psychiatrists and the field in general"
The link to that article is
http://www.xenu.net/archive/media/time910605.html
Posted by: Jake | July 15, 2005 4:16 PM(#48 of 50)
i think brooke shield is brainwashed by the pharmaceuticals, just like millions of other poor women, into thinking that drugs can cure her "mental depression." Why not shoot heroin or snort cocaine? It is the same goddamn thing but with "better and more legal campaigning involved." Women have for thousands of years dealt with this without drugs and now you are telling me that it is necessary for women to take drugs because she has depression from having a baby? Brooke Shields is not fit to be a mother. The reason why we are all attacking Tom Cruise because he is a megastar and everyone is so jealous. Everything coming out of his mouth becomes an open attack upon everyone. This is ridiculous. Get a life, Brooke.
Posted by: rick f | July 18, 2005 11:57 AM(#49 of 50)
Has anyone gotten any answers on why so many people can't view the video?? I'd really like to see it but can't. Help!
Posted by: kayblib | July 18, 2005 2:19 PM(#50 of 50)