I think the timetable of this episode is seriously messed up, because now Sean and Christian are at the prison hospital visiting Escobar. It seems that the man whose face Sean and Christian gave Escobar was a child molester. For those of you who have never done hard time, it seems that Pedophiles are even less popular in prison than Republicans are in the Senate! Someone let Jon Stewart know that I am ready to take over for him whenever he'd like. The reason that Escobar called on Sean and Christian was because due to his lack of popularity with the inmates, he got his face all burned. Kind of like this guy.

It's kind of funny when Escobar, all bandaged up, says: "Should I tell you what you don't like about myself?" Escobar wants his old life back. This is where I'm assuming the writers of Nip/Tuck hope that every viewer watching had a simultaneous stroke and don't think too hard about the fact that Escobar was convicted as the man whose face he had, not for the crimes that Escobar himself committed. No one ever figured out that Escobar was hiding under the Face/Off mask? RIIIIIIIGHT. Now, I don't know much about police work, but if Escobar's alias was that of a child molester wouldn't there have been some, oh I don't know, DNA evidence to link him to the crimes that he was investigated for? In fact, wouldn't the DNA evidence that the prosecution surely would have requested, have exonerated him from the crime, considering the DNA wouldn't have matched? I'm just spinning my wheels here, but if I can come up with that off the top of my head, with the only procedurals on my DVR being Bones and Law & Order: SVU, imagine what one of the Criminal Minds or CSI nuts would come up with.

Sean and Christian try to turn down Escobar, but he assures them that he has proof of their crime in the Everglades.

Bobolit gets his ass surgery. Christian asks him if he wants to remove Escobar's brand, but Bobolit wouldn't dream of it. Bobolit then has the best segue, like, ever: "Speaking of blondes who blow, how's Kimber?"

Escobar is all Darth Vader with his bandages off. Escobar finds Sean's lack of enthusiasm dissturbing as he should be very pleased that Escobar hasn't killed him. He submits that Sean's life could be a lot worse. Psych! This sends Sean into a tizzy, because at the end of the day, his life couldn't really be much worse. Yeah, I've got to imagine your wife sleeping with your lobster-clawed infant's midget Manny has got to be about as close to bottom as a person can get. Escobar sees through Sean's pain and cuts right to the heart of the matter: "What'd you do to Julia?" He also gives Sean the very sensible advice of going home to confess to, beg forgiveness from and bang his wife.

Changing things up a bit, we see Kimber going through her Scientologist child exam, with Julia and Hello Kitty Jackson in tow. Kimber is planning a silent birth, which we know is all the rage ever since Katie brought her Michael Myers look a-like daughter, Suri, into the world via the same method. Even Kelly Preston had her children via silent births. This leads Matt to ask the question that is on all of our minds: "Who is Kelly Preston?" WHO INDEED, HK! WHO INDEED!

After Kimber flips out over HK Jackson providing her with flat instead of sparkling water, Julia has had enough. Any hope that she would, you know, STAY QUIET goes right out the window, even though her estranged son confesses that he'll need her to lean on. Kimber overhears Julia questioning whether or not HK Jackson and Kimber are happy and chimes in that they are in love. Kimber then gets real bitchy with Julia saying that she understands that the emotions of impending GRANDmotherhood are complicated. Julia laughs this off saying that there is nothing complicated about her feelings for the woman who has sexually manipulated every man in her family.

Just as Julia is, wait for it, storming out of Kimber's, Christian shows up. He's there to announce that Kimber will get her surgery in the morning. No silicon milk for Baby Hello Kitty Jackson!!!

At the homestead, Julia has finished painting over the Eden mural. Julia admits to the little people, big sex with Marlow. Sean wants to know WHY!?!?! Julia claims it's because Marlow accepted Connor from the beginning, while Sean only wanted to change him. I slaim that it's because Julia is a total asshole. Sean then starts asking the nitty gritty questions: How many times did they do it? Did Marlow make her cum? What positions did they use? All I keep thinking is that whoever wrote this episode must've worn their copy of Closer out, because the argument is almost verbatim to the one Julia Roberts and Clive Owen have, far superiorly, in that film. These leads to one of those hot and heavy TV moments where the fight leads to hot sex and Sean proclaiming: "I forgive you!"

Kimber is about to go into surgery. Christian is not only putting her under he's numbing her below the breasts. But why? It seems that after Christian removes the implants, he also takes some baby blood. Sneaky, sneaky Christian.

Posted by Umnata on November 9, 2006 4:05 PM