Ethan gets out of bed with Gwen to answer his phone. Gwen is annoyed when it turns out to be Theresa. Theresa tells Ethan to be careful because she's afraid his life is in danger. He hustles her off the phone to go back to his wife. Theresa is crestfallen and whimpers to Whitney and Chad that Ethan is never going to leave Gwen. Chad is like, "Duh. That's what we've all been telling you for the last five years, you moron."

Can't blame the show for capitalizing on Liza Huber's brand-new pregnancy cleavage.

On the train, Alistair tells Beth not to do anything stupid. He's swirling an evil-looking drink. As soon as he turns his back, Beth decides to call Luis and invite him along on the train trip. She tells Luis she's glad he survived the lion attack, and she gets Marty to say hi to him on the phone. Beth asks Luis if he would be willing to get back together with her for Marty's sake. He gets smart for once and tells her yes. He's pretty clever about it, not laying it on too thick - telling her that he has a lot of misgivings about giving her another chance, but he wants Marty back, and he's already lost Sheridan, so why not give it a shot. She eats it up.

Theresa looks like all the fight has gone out of her. Chad says that he and Whitney have to go, because they have a conference call scheduled at the Vatican. They're going to be talking to the Mother Superior back in Harmony, explaining why Whitney won't be taking her final vows. Wow, the Vatican is really generous with its telecommunications capacity. Theresa claims that she doesn't mind being ditched, and she's going to go for a walk and work on forgetting about Ethan. As soon as Theresa is alone, the psychic nun chugs up, all out of breath. She says she had a psychic vision that Theresa needs her help. Theresa asks the nun to kill her so she won't have to live without Ethan. Wow, Theresa is a really shitty mother!

Don't worry, Theresa! Help is on the way!

Katherine tells Chris to go home and get some sleep; she and Pilar will stay with Sheridan. Cut to Sheridan's dream. She's having a nightmare about Alistair and Beth. The nightmare ends with Alistair vowing to raise Marty himself, and Beth and Sheridan both screaming "No!"

Noah cuts off his relationship chat with Fancy to run a trace on Luis's phone call from Beth. Luis keeps Beth on the line by asking her about the logistics of their reunion. How are they going to duck Alistair? Beth says she'll take care of Alistair, but Luis says there's no way Alistair will let them get back together, so they'll have to shake him off and meet in a neutral location. He keeps her on the phone for a while, but finally Alistair walks in on Beth and hangs up her phone.

Theresa tells the nun that she's exhausted from losing Ethan over and over. She recaps the recent paternity-related events for the nun's benefit, and I find out that "Harvey" is actually named "Gary," but I like "Harvey" better and I'm not going to change it. The nun tells Theresa that everything happens for a reason, and nothing is permanent. It kind of sounds like she's telling Theresa that God is eventually going to bust up Ethan and Gwen's marriage. Yup, that sounds like God, all right - always on the side of adultery. Theresa says that if God's plan involves her suffering this much in the present, then she wants nothing to do with God.

Beth tries to convince Alistair that she didn't lie to him about losing her cell phone - she, um, just found it right now. Alistair tells her that she is both stupid and insane to believe that Luis wants her back and was not just keeping her on the phone to trace the call. Then he says, "I could kill your mother Edna for lying to me twenty-five years ago and telling me she was on the Pill." Wait a minute. Beth is only supposed to be twenty-five? Or maybe even twenty-four? Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just then, the train starts to move.

"I'm twenty-five? You have got to be kidding me."

Noah tells Luis that Interpol traced the call to "a steam-powered train that's sitting in a railyard outside of Rome." Unfortunately, the train is already starting to move. Noah and Luis come up with a bunch of ideas, like following the train by helicopter, parachuting onto the train, and blockading the tracks. Um, wouldn't it be really easy to have Interpol stop the train AT THE BORDER? It's a train! It can't dart in and out of traffic, or motor off across the high seas, or reroute its flight plan! A train is the single easiest type of transportation to TRACK. Because it runs on a TRACK. The similarity between those two words is not a coincidence. You can't escape from the law on a train, unless the law doesn't know which train you're on. Luis, Noah, and Fancy leave to follow that train.

Chris arrives back at his and Sheridan's house and answers his ringing phone. It's Alistair, calling to tell him that it's time for Chris to "do what [he] agreed to do." Chris says he won't, but Alistair says that if he doesn't, then Chris and Sheridan will both die.

Posted by Amanda on July 19, 2006 1:31 PM