The next day out in the prison yard, Michael seems pensive as he scans the scene laid out before him: The blacks playing basketball over there, the whites lifting weights over there, the Latinos milling about over there... And there are some pay phones! A steam vent! A fire hydrant! A sewer grate! Clues up the wazoo! I half expected a blue dog to start hopping about and a dork named Steve to explain to us what a fire hydrant is. Michael made his way over to the grate and apparently didn't like the latest issue of Loft magazine, as he serruptitiously dropped it into the sewer. Damn, Loft magazine's big break on a primetime network TV show and its scene is in a prison sewer. Worst product placement. Ever. Michael then caught a glimpse of a guy working alone in another section of the prison yard. He began asking Sucre about him. Lincoln Burroughs was the name, murdering the Vice President's brother was his game. He was scheduled to die in the electric chair in one month's time and he was virtually inaccessible. Unless... Unless one was to get close with the local mafia don, John Andruzzi. Because, in this prison, a deathrow inmate can continue to work amongst the general population, and Andruzzi controlled who got "employed" on the team. "Buy why," wondered Sucre to Michael, "Do you care about Lincoln Burroughs?"

"Because he's my brother." Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod! If only FOX didn't reveal this fact in its month-long advertising campaign buildup. If only every previewer didn't explain the entire plot of the show before I watched it, that would have been AWESOME. Despite the lack of surprise, it was still a very impacting scene. And godDAMN that Michael Scofield has some penetrating eyes. After the artfully timed commercial break, we were treated to a flashback wherein an imprisoned Lincoln was talking to a then-free Michael, explaining that he was innocent and was totally set up by "someone" who wants him killed. Flash forward to Michael's cell where his Hispanic cellie Sucre was writing a letter to his girlfriend. He was proposing marriage to her and was asking how to spell "passion." "Is that with an h?" Ah, stereotypes... Hey FOX, not all prisoners are bad spellers!

At this point, the show switched to an out-of-place little scene with some kid buying a couple pounds of pot and getting busted by the cops. I'll rip through this story arc now, because every time the show switched to it, it annoyed me. The kid was LJ and he's Lincoln's son. Michael was a father figure to him, but then he went and purposely got arrested and imprisoned so he could be with his brother - in the hopes to escape with him before the execution date. Later, LJ's mom brought him to prison to get some "fatherly advice" from Lincoln but it fell on deaf ears. When Lincoln expressed exasperation about the fact that he was going to die soon, LJ spat, "You're already dead to me." Lincoln then returned to his cell to find a bloody horse's head in his bed. Got all that? Good, because I will not mention that punk LJ again. And I made up the horse part.

Alright, the show really started picking up here, so stick with me. Back in the yard, Michael approached the local mafia guy, Andruzzi (who happens to be the ugliest dude on TV at the moment), to ask him if he could join the work detail. This was, of course, an asinine request from a newbie like Michael. "Oh yeah," thought Michael, "I'll show you what you're missing out on." He then flung a little origami duck at him and strutted away. Now, I know the social norms and caste systems in prison are different than what we are used to. But when showing a guy up with origami skills is all you've got, dude, at least come up with something cool like a robot or even a bear. A duck? That's just weak. OR WAS IT A CLUE?! As if to tell us viewers that yes, of course it was a clue, the next scene took place in a meat processing plant when one mafia guy mumbled something to another mafia guy. Skipping ahead in the show a little bit, to keep me sane here, the meatpacking mafia guy calls Andruzzi in prison and discusses with him that "somebody knows where Fibonacci is" in the witness protection program. Oh yeah, who? The meatpacker doesn't know who but he does mention that the proof of this knowledge included an origami duck! Aha! Why do I think Prison Break geeks will latch onto origami ducks as "their" symbol?

As if that weren't enough with the ducks, Michael visited the hot prison doctor (FOX once again doing its part to further the woman's equality movement with a female lawyer and female doctor. The fact that they are both young and pretty mean nothing, please move along) for an infected tattoo. Turns out, the good doctor is the Governor's daughter and not very observant. For as she turned around to read some charts, Michael was able to scamper across the room and drop another origami duck down a drain in the floor. And here I was expecting him to whip up one of those origami roses for the doctor. You remember, those things that the Asian kid kept making and giving to all the girls at the 8th grade formal dance? Not today, as Michael had more important things to worry about, I suppose. Like getting some alone time with his brother, for one. After a church service that morning, he does just that and quietly promises to orchestrate an escape for both of them. Lincoln sighed and said it was impossible but Michael replied, "Not if you designed the place." Another "hmmmm-worthy" moment.

Posted by on August 31, 2005 3:15 AM