Tossed Salad With Avocado - 
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TVgasm recently celebrated our 2000th post and I’d guess that about 1600 of them are recaps. Of those 1600, I am going to whip my balls out onto the table and state that I believe the latest episode of Prison Break is one of the most complex and difficult shows ever recapped here. Wait - why did I just pull my sack out? I hope no one saw that. I don't mean to whine or make excuses but seriously, it's like the writers took a bunch of speed before their writing session. "Shit was crazy," as they say.
And the craziest shit seems to keep happening to Lincoln Burroughs - most recently a giant truck slammed into him in order to (finally) kill him. He was thrown from the prison van and was left moaning and groaning on the side of the road. The first passerby was Paul Kellerman - though I think after last week he's now just Owen Kravecki - because he was knowledgeable of the crash plot to kill Lincoln. Like all evil bad guys, Kellerman confidently and slowly w-a-l-k-e-d 100 yards to the nearly dead inmate. And, of course, like only the best bad guys, Kellerman proceeded to give Linc a little dramatic speech about life and death and political conspiracy before doing the deed. The Joker, Dr. No, The Penguin, Goldfinger, The Green Goblin, Donald Rumsfeld...
Kellerman then proceeded to smother dear Linc with a hanky - his gun apparently forgotten that morning. However, as Kellerman was waxing poetic, another passerby arrived and leapt to Linc's assistance. Kellerman begged the Good Samaritan off as he was clearly succeeding with his hands-to-mouth resuscitation. But this guy really wanted to help and - it's Daddy Burroughs! *WHACK!* He knocked Kellerman out and rescued his beleaguered son. Anyone else think that, at this point, Lincoln was like, "Let me die for f**k's sake?"
A few miles away at Fox River Prison, Sucre was free from the SHU and the escapers all rejoiced. "We can all sign each other's yearbooks later," quipped T-Bag. The writers are really messing with us now, making us laugh along with the evil Bagger. Michael now had the missing map and all he needed now was one key to a door up in the infirmary - once secured, the escape was a "Go!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," breathed a stunned Westmoreland. Nah, just Jesus apparently, as it was Abruzzi - resurrected after 3 days from the dead! His would-be murderer, T-Bag, wasn't exactly happy about the Messiah's return and immediately set out to get himself a murder weapon. Make that a re-murder weapon.
Michael immediately glommed onto his mafia buddy and was a bit taken aback by his apparent Born Again Christian status. Abruzzi, always a close-talker, had stepped it up and was now a hugger. Um, like, Eww, okay? At least he didn't make Michael touch his neck scar. (Anyone else ever see the other movie called "Crash" with James Spader and Holly Hunter? Don't.)
Anyway, Abruzzi assured Michael that the plane would be in place for the escape, everyone was dead in the van crash but Lincoln, and oh - Lincoln had disappeared with his father to a nearby junkyard. Bellick, for some odd reason, was taking personal responsibility for what was for all intents and purposes an accident and convinced Warden Pope to keep the story away from the media for the time being. Why? I didn't get that.
A quick check in on the storyline I don't like, Nick and Veronica were busy going through Quinn's phone records still. Michael has been diagnosed schizophrenic, treated and released and Sucre has been caught outside his cell, punished and released, all in the time that these two lawyers have sifted through a couple pages of phone numbers. Yet another example of lawyers being lawyers; getting paid by the hour. Pricks.
Back out to the rural crash scene, Bellick was on point to reign in any leaks. The one obvious "leak" was the guy who arrived first on-scene and could ID the getaway car. That's right, PaulOwen KellermanKravecki. Kellerman explained his presence by saying he was on a business trip out to Aurora (Schwing!) and didn't want to be bothered with all this policey stuff. Bellick demanded to know Kellerman's name, which he gave as Roy Huggins.
Need another reminder why you read TVgasm? Here you are: On a hunch, I just Googled "Roy Huggins." Pretty freaking cool, huh? Touché, "Break" writers, touché. And to think, I ended last week's recap with, "I'll save my "Search every farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse" references for next week, which looks particularly exciting. "
PaulOwenRoy KellermanKraveckiHuggins was inexplicably allowed to walk away from the scene and leave. Oh that Bellick - Mr. Thorough. Of course Kellerman had a police scanner sitting on his passenger seat in full view, which he turned on with an evil grin and awaited information on his elusive quarry.
Romantic Interlude # 1: Michael was up with Dr. Tancredi and after he was able to determine which key was necessary to open the door he needed to open, sat down and awaited the good doctor... To play doctor. [Cue porn soundtrack] Out of nowhere (lots of that this episode), Michael made his move and planted one firmly on Tancredi's lips. Not some weak little smooch either - a real full kiss. "I need you to do something for me, Sarah." [End porn soundtrack] Goddamnit, you see how we hot tall dark and handsome men are - there's always a catch with us. He pleaded for her to "wait for him" but she said no, you're a convicted felon and all that, blah blah blah. Dude, just go straight for The Shocker, enough talk! You're in prison!
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