Everybody Dance the Running Man! - 
by Umnata
Well, here we are. It's been only a few short months since we left the Fox River 8, running for their lives after Shawshank-ing their way out of prison. So first off, let's thank sg-dub for laying down such incredible, snark-filled groundwork with last year's recaps - the fire of which I'll try to recapture here. The smart ass shoes are big, but since I made my name here at TVgasm filling in for the EdHill (Desperate Housewives - my gift, my curse), I hope to be up to the challenge (I'll be switching off recaps with fellow TVgasm newbie Amanda - the schedule of which has yet to be worked out).
The second season premiere of Prison Break sure wasn't short on the thrills or the intrigue. We met one new character (anyone notice William Fichtner billed as Bill Fichtner in the opening credits? I felt like I was taking crazy pills) and lost another (let's just say that someone is going to be light as feather and stiff as a board... forever...), as the convicts started to turn on each other and we discovered Michael's Plan B. Now let's check it out as the convicts make a play towards survival of the badassiest.
We open with FBI agent Alexander Mahone. I'm sorry, Special Agent Alexander Mahone. You know how we know he's a "Special Agent"? Because he's played by William Fichtner and he's all haunted and creepy. He's holding a press conference, as we get a brief flash to all the inmates who escaped last night at 8 pm. Mahone waxes poetic about how it took only 12 days to find John Wilkes Booth and how in 140 years nothing has changed. The escaped man is still human and afraid. But unlike Special Agents from the days of Honest Abe's assassination Mahone has something they didn't: Television. Well, I'd imagine that if they did have television in the days of yore, honest old Abe probably wouldn't have been at the theater in the first place. Mahone encourages everyone in America to take a good look at these eight criminals, as they are now the Most Wanted Men in America.
At the same time Bellick, the requisite evil prison guard is on the case and he is quite an angry little elf. Well, I guess I'd be pretty angry to if I spent the better part of the last third of season one, beat up by the old Fish Hook killer from I Know What You Did Last Summer (Westmoreland) and stuck in a prison escape tunnel. But Bellick is out now, and Vengece. Will. Be. His!. Bellick and the Fox River guards (umm, who is watching the prison?) are chasing after C-Note, Michael, Lincoln, Sucre and Abruzzi.
The guys are running from the guards as a frieght train is passing through. They board the fright train as passage to the other side of the tracks, but Michael is pretty and smart, not athletic. He doesn't make it and Bellick is hot on his ass. Michael finally gets on the train, but Bellick is ready to shoot. Bellick shoots and Big Brother Lincoln pulls Michael to safety.
The guys now have some breathing room with the train firmly distancing them and the prison guards. Time enough to bicker that is! Apparently, Michael was not the only one to hear Westmoreland, the former plane thief and Jennifer Love Hewitt stalker, confess that he had $5 million stashed away somewhere in Utah, before he died of wounds inflicted by an errant coffee pot during a tussle with Bellick.
Warden Pope, a refreshingly earnest nice guy who happens to work in the most stereotypically bad guy profession in media, is meeting up with Mahone. "Isn't it a little early for the FBI?" Mahone agrees, but once the Fox River 8 step over state lines (and release a Barbershop Octet CD), they are all his. I love that there isn't a lot of bureaucratic bullshit between these two. Mahone says as much, requesting that everyting Pope has on the guys be "transparent". I don't know why that word sounds so creepy here. Kind of the way that CTU was being "absorbed" last season. Pope isn't happy, but that should have more to do with getting locked in the closet by a prisoner he actually trusted, but he agrees. Usually that's like 6 episodes worth of penis measuring that would really bog the show down. Plus, we'll get enough of that from Bellick shortly.
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