Everybody Dance the Running Man! - 
by Umnata
Annoying alert! Here comes Veronica, or as I like to call her, DuckFace (she looks EXACTLY like Gosling from Darkwing Duck) . It's not just that Veronica makes Kim Bauer trapped in a bomb shelter with Johnny Drama look like Mr. Wizard & Albert Einstein's lovechild, but it's that she's not even pleasant to watch while doing so. At least Kim Bauer stuck in a Cougar trap is still Elisha Cuthbert stuck in a Cougar trap. And who do we get? The fourth lead from Empire Records. Robin Tunney joins the long pantheon of lame actresses who toil away from role to role bringing nothing but their own special brand of lameness to the table. Yes, I'm talking to you, Lea Thompson, Penelope Ann Miller, et. al. It's not even that she's bad (okay, Tunney is bad), she's just offensively mediocre. Oh but don't get me wrong, it's not only Robin Tunney. Veronica Donovan is, hands down, the stupidest character on television. In case you haven't noticed I'm not a huge fan of this particular actress or character.
Right in line with my hatred for DuckFace is what seems like the end of her journey into the Terrence Steadman aspect of the mystery. Nick her partner/turncoat is dead, and she used her Nancy Drew wiles and what I can only imagine is her DuckFace powers to sift out the whereabouts of the allegedly dead brother of the VP turned President. Get all that? At the end of last season, we saw DuckFace stumble onto Steadman's lair of evil, cleverly disguised as a ranch in Montana. My question is: What was phase two of this plan? Huh, DuckFace? You get there, alone, to where all these powerful people spent all this time and money to fake Steadman's death, frame Lincoln, etc. and you think you're going to walk in there snap a few pics of the guy and... what? Michael Scofield, she is not. She didn't even sketch a plan on a napkin, none the less tattoo it on her body.
Steadman (played last season by Peter Billingsley, but this year by Merebitch Grey's dad) starts monologue-ing about how he's the victim here. It was the President, not him, who picked Lincoln as the fall guy, supposedly because of information Lincoln and Michael's deadbeat dad leaked about Terrence's company, Ecofield. Anyone else think this conspiracy is a bit muddled? But Steadman calls DuckFace out on the lack of cohesion in her plan: "Hey DuckFace, good luck trying to get out of this house! Those doors only open from the outside, and these windows here - bulletproof. So come cuddle up to your toothless daddy, because Thatch here is going to give you the ride of your life!" Or something like that. Last year, Peter Billingsley's Terrence Steadman kind of seemed like a huge, crazy uber-villain. He was especially creepy, because we mostly only saw him on the phone, with his teeth in a jar. I don't like this about face they are trying to pull on us, making him all "I'm the victim here", wah wah wah; I like my toothless characters to either be Yokels or evil. What can I say? I'm old fashioned. Regardless, DuckFace is trapped.
Back to the boys on the run, Michael is starting to worry that the other guys know about the money in Utah, most notably, Sucre, Michael's cellmate and confidant. "We do what we got to do." Man those deadbeat dad genes these two share sure do have some coldness in them. Lincoln begins to question the existence of this buried treasure (a moment of silence for Team Air Force and Team Southie Boys, who lost the $3 million Treasure Hunters booty to the weak Team Geniuses - here at TVgasm we love synergy!), but Michael is sure that Charles Westermoreland wouldn't lie. All they have to do is stay alive, not get nabbed by Bellick and/or Agent Mahone, ditch their runaway partners, beat T-Bag and Tweener to Utah, find the treasure, make it across the border to Mexico, travel to Panama, open up a Dive Shop, and they'll be fine. Man, opening up a Dive Shop? You have any idea how hard it is to be an entrepreneur nowadays? Good luck with that guys. Lincoln also wonders about the global economy, but more to the point, about what their plan is. Michael, always the thinker, tattooed plan B on his body, in case Abruzzi's plane crapped out (which it did). Just don't ask where plan C is. This is FOX not Spice.
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